Are you frugal or high maintenance ??

i agree , high maintenance and frugal have nothing to do with each other .

my wife will tell you i am high maintenance . look up needy , i bet my picture comes up .

but she knew that up front . i gave her the copy of the manual my mom wrote . "THE PROPER CARE & FEEDING OF MATHJAK " lol
 

KingsX said:
Being frugal is not just a lifestyle, it's a mentality. Those who are frugal by nature [as opposed to those who are forced to cut back on spending] enjoy the frugal lifestyle and don't regard it as a sacrifice. .
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That would describe DW and myself. Our parents grew up fairly poor and became middle class (yes, there used to be a middle class) through education, work, and frugality. Those lessons were passed on. I've always thought the difference between frugal people and those who live beyond their means was due to envy, or lack thereof. We're the people who go into a very nice house, or a very nice car, and say, 'that's nice --- it would be nice to have such things'. But, we don't 'internalize' the fact someone else has nice shiny objects, and we are not concerned with trying to get them. There are, apparently, many people who have to have expensive things to be happy, or to show others to make themselves feel good.
There is a term in psychology called 'deferred gratification'. Those of us who think long term and accept a frugal lifestyle to reach long term goals, have that in spades. Other people do not.
 

Hoot N Annie said:
How do you define "high maintenance"? To me, it is not the opposite of frugal.

Also, these threads are really just an excuse for a series of humble brags.
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Another term for "high maintenance" might be "living large"... someone who lives a self-indulgent, extravagant and often wasteful lifestyle and requires an ever higher income to support that lifestyle.

My topic post included an example of a friend who tries to live a high maintenance champagne taste lifestyle... but has never earned more than a beer budget. She repeatedly ignored my frugal advice through the years and continued her living large behavior into retirement. She quickly spent her small nest egg and is now bankrupt.

During our working years, my friend earned more than I. She spent while I saved. Thanks to God and my frugal mentality, during my retirement my nest egg has greatly increased.

Ironically, her yearly income [SS plus a small pension] which she is unable to live on... is still more income than my yearly income [SS plus investments] that I choose to take per year and still live comfortably.

That is not bragging... that is a "THANK GOD" moment... "except by the grace of God, there go I."
 
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I started this topic not to try to convince anyone one way or the other... but to understand the difference in mentality.

Through the years, I didn't understand why my friend ignored by sensible frugal advice and like some posters here, she was even hostile at my frugal advice.

While she was in her rapid downward economic spiral... she kept paying out money she did not have for expensive things she didn't need.

One time when I was advising her not to keep paying a certain unnecessary monthly expense, she became hostile and said: "If I lived like you, I wouldn't be where I am." I'm not sure exactly what SHE meant by that statement... but ironically, form my perspective, it is so true !!
 
KingsX said:
Who was it who called compound interest the eighth wonder of the world ??

My pennies saved are busy at work compounding interest.

Reminds me of these famous quotes from the classic money book, "The Richest Man in Babylon."

" Every gold piece you save is a slave to work for you. Every copper it earns is its child that also can earn for you. If you would become wealthy, then what you save must earn, and its children must earn, and it's children's children must earn, that all may help to give to you the abundance you crave. "

" You do eat the children of your savings. Then how do you expect them to work for you? And how can they have children that will also work for you? First get thee an army of golden slaves and then many a rich banquet may you enjoy without regret. "

" A man's wealth is not in the coins he carries in his purse; it is the income he buildeth, the golden stream that continually floweth into his purse and keepeth it always bulging. "
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the problem is those pennies have to compound greater than inflation and taxes or you lost your pennies
 
KingsX said:
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I started this topic not to try to convince anyone one way or the other... but to understand the difference in mentality.

Through the years, I didn't understand why my friend ignored by sensible frugal advice and like some posters here, she was even hostile at my frugal advice.

While she was in her rapid downward economic spiral... she kept paying out money she did not have for expensive things she didn't need.

One time when I was advising her not to keep paying a certain unnecessary monthly expense, she became hostile and said: "If I lived like you, I wouldn't be where I am." I'm not sure exactly what SHE meant by that statement... but ironically, form my perspective, it is so true !!
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I don't worry about my "friends" and how they choose to manage their money. As long as she is not asking you for anything, does it matter? :D

We each do what works for us.
 
retiredtraveler said:
That would describe DW and myself. Our parents grew up fairly poor and became middle class (yes, there used to be a middle class) through education, work, and frugality. Those lessons were passed on. I've always thought the difference between frugal people and those who live beyond their means was due to envy, or lack thereof. We're the people who go into a very nice house, or a very nice car, and say, 'that's nice --- it would be nice to have such things'. But, we don't 'internalize' the fact someone else has nice shiny objects, and we are not concerned with trying to get them. There are, apparently, many people who have to have expensive things to be happy, or to show others to make themselves feel good.
There is a term in psychology called 'deferred gratification'. Those of us who think long term and accept a frugal lifestyle to reach long term goals, have that in spades. Other people do not.
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Great assessment and commentary !

Frugal people are long range planners.

Frugal people do not spend money to impress others... they are not "keep up with the Jones" types.

I was reading an article yesterday how so many people now are "upside down" financially in their cars...
owing more than the car is worth and unable to trade their car in for a newer model and that is affecting
car sales. Apparently, the car industry relies on customers who keep buying a new car every couple of years.
I have never been part of that car mania. I buy a new sensible car, drive it for well over a decade, enjoying
years of no car payments... then I buy another new sensible car and drive it for over a decade. Today, I am
driving my wonderful 13 year old 2004 Honda.
 
frugal has nothing to do with being a long range planner . in fact i would say many of those in forums i frequent are the opposite . they cherish all those pennies they save so much they are afraid of investing them and they never compound well . many complain now how little they ended up having .

so planning and frugal are not related .
 
C'est Moi said:
I don't worry about my "friends" and how they choose to manage their money. As long as she is not asking you for anything, does it matter? :D

We each do what works for us.
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My friend told me she had contemplated suicide because of her recent dire financial situation.
 
mathjak107 said:
frugal has nothing to do with being a long range planner . in fact i would say many of those in forums i frequent are the opposite . they cherish all those pennies they save so much they are afraid of investing them and they never compound well . many complain now how little they ended up having .

so planning and frugal are not related .
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Have to disagree with you on this. It seems, tell me if I'm wrong, that you're equating the reluctance to invest with not planning long term. I can't see that. The whole subject of investing, or lack thereof, to me, has more to do with financial ignorance than long term planning. People who save money and put it under the mattress are doing long term planning. They just don't trust banks or stock market or have no financial accumen. But, they're thinking long-term.
There are other areas where some of us plan long term. Health care (as in proper diet and working out), for one.
 
planning for a retirement and having it well funded has a whole lot to do with long term planning , both investing wise and tax planning wise , all which need to be started as young as possible .
 
nvtribefan said:
Well, you can continue to browbeat her for not taking your instruction all these years. Do you think that will help your friend?.
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Why do you assume I "browbeat" her ??

Because you personally disagree with being frugal ??

The hostility expressed here is interesting.
 
We live mostly on our pensions; also take a very modest amount (3.5%) from the investment accounts. I'll be taking SocSec this year; my DH will take it in another year or so. Not quite sure what "high maintenance" means, but we're certainly not frugal. Never have been and probably never will be, LOL! If it's there in the bank account, we spend it.

We did, however, become interested in financial planning in our late 40's and fortunately I ended up with a job in financial services. Taught me a lot. Although there was a period where we struggled quite a bit, we caught some luck and have managed a very comfortable lifestyle in retirement.

However, I would like to say that for us and the people we know, it was planning that made the big difference. DH and I actually made less $$$$ than almost all our family and friends (I'll exclude the sub-group of friends who made millions from tech). We were certainly much less frugal than they were, too.

But we planned - seriously planned; working on various risk scenarios, deciding on the best compromises on big purchases/projects/job changes, spent on items others thought were unnecessary (like long term care policies).

I actually do enjoy the financial world, although I gave up balancing my checkbook decades ago (thank all the heavens for electronic banking, LOL) as well as investing. After doing a very good job for 30 yrs I was happy to hand our account over to the excellent independent CFP firm we picked for my MIL's investment accounts. Last year the family accounts were merged together when my DH inherited her assets.

2018 my goal is to update our trust. I've been putting it off for ages, and it really needs to be changed. One of the heirs doesn't need anything from us any longer, so we can leave it all to the other heir - well, assuming we don't live too long and there's something left!
 
I probably err on the side of being a little frugal. The interesting thing is that very early on, when I was in my late teens my Dad explained compounding interest to me, with the "beautiful" rule of 72. I started investing very early, a few bucks every month, boy did that ever work out. For quite a few years we have been able to buy or do anything we really want, but I still hate paying more for something than I have to. I look for deals and I love haggling, etc, so we usually don't spend more than we have to. I have instilled the investing with my daughters, so hopefully they will be in a great position as well. With the insidious way that inflation creeps up, investing in the market is a way to keep ahead of it.
 
I was fairly frugal during my working days. Not a money mizer, but careful how I spent my dollars. And during my first 7 years of retirement I was the same. But over the last 3 years I have loosen the strings a bit. Just ordered a 55" 4k tv for my living room for example. Didn't have to have it, but I wanted it. Of course I didn't buy one of $2k jobs, more like $500. ;)
 
I always thought "high maintenance" meant difficult and expensive to please, pertaining to a relationship. I'm low maintenance, been told so even, in a joking manner. Also very frugal, but I'm trying to learn to get out of that habit a bit. It's a hard habit to break.
 
I spend if I need something or just plain want something if and only if I have the money, no credit for me. I have a relative that is so stingy she could give Scrooge lessons.

I have come to the conclusion that one type will never understand the other.
 
I am careful with spending, as I know how we can be ‘ripped off’, but not to the point of being penny pinching, my motto is
‘I’m not mean but I’m not stupid’....
 

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