Arguing in public

Aunt Marg said:
It boils down to scruples... some have it, some don't.

Those who lack scruples grew up to know no better than to lay out their lives for all to see (and hear).

As for the rest of us who know better, we conduct our personal and private affairs behind closed doors, in a calm, cool, and collect way.
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Well, WOW, thought I had scruples, but maybe not. Maybe those ”who know better” don’t.

I do know that I am done being a doormat so if someone chooses to get in my face because they think I will just suck it up to avoid attracting attention in any environment, they are mistaken. As for being calm and cool, I am pretty much always calm. At least I haven’t killed anyone yet. 😂
 
I think that it's unfortunate and as long as it looks like one of the participants isn't in danger I ignore it and move on.

I don't judge people in those situations because I have no idea what caused one person or the other to start something like that out in public. It's possible that it is the only safe place for one of the participants to talk because they could be physically abused if they choose to talk about something in private. It might also lessen the verbal abuse they have to endure because the abuser doesn't do it quite as much in public.

There are times that the arguments don't seem like things that would require such precautions, but once again I don't know the circumstances. I pity them and hope that they're able to find a better way to move forward or that one is able to escape the other.
 
asp3 said:
I think that it's unfortunate and as long as it looks like one of the participants isn't in danger I ignore it and move on.

I don't judge people in those situations because I have no idea what caused one person or the other to start something like that out in public. It's possible that it is the only safe place for one of the participants to talk because they could be physically abused if they choose to talk about something in private. It might also lessen the verbal abuse they have to endure because the abuser doesn't do it quite as much in public.

There are times that the arguments don't seem like things that would require such precautions, but once again I don't know the circumstances. I pity them and hope that they're able to find a better way to move forward or that one is able to escape the other.
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I have come to understand that there is no escape but death.
 
asp3 said:
???
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I used to do outbound calling for a credit card company. I spoke to a LOT of elderly lonely forgotten women about their lives. When I became older myself, and went to the senior center, many other older woman repeated what I had learned before.

There is no escape from a bad domestic situation except death. Yes, some do make it out, most do not. Choices are still so limited for women, especially woman with children that they stay until they either “emotionally die” (In full or part) or really die. Same applies to men, of course.

Each abusive word or action is poison to the spirit and the heart. This is, as usual, my opinion. No one should swallow poison until they get to a more appropriate place to spit it out.

I was a doormat for years. My husband wants to argue about everything. Now not every public argument is a loud affair that others can overhear or be aware of. Many who have responded to this thread have made that assumption, which I find funny. They should know better.

Many have made judgements towards people who argue in public as if they are in a position to be worthy as judges-no one is worthy to judge anyone but themselves. People our age should know this. Anyway, yes, the only escape is death.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I used to do outbound calling for a credit card company. I spoke to a LOT of elderly lonely forgotten women about their lives. When I became older myself, and went to the senior center, many other older woman repeated what I had learned before.

There is no escape from a bad domestic situation except death. Yes, some do make it out, most do not. Choices are still so limited for women, especially woman with children that they stay until they either “emotionally die” (In full or part) or really die. Same applies to men, of course.

Each abusive word or action is poison to the spirit and the heart. This is, as usual, my opinion. No one should swallow poison until they get to a more appropriate place to spit it out.

I was a doormat for years. My husband wants to argue about everything. Now not every public argument is a loud affair that others can overhear or be aware of. Many who have responded to this thread have made that assumption, which I find funny. They should know better.

Many have made judgements towards people who argue in public as if they are in a position to be worthy as judges-no one is worthy to judge anyone but themselves. People our age should know this. Anyway, yes, the only escape is death.
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Not all public arguments are signs of bad domestic situations, either. I don't think many people would want anyone in that situation to "swallow it quietly."
I can't speak for anyone else, but I was referring to individuals who think it's appropriate to conduct their personal spats anywhere and everywhere- was not referring to domestic violence.
 
Aneeda72 said:
Choices are still so limited for women, especially woman with children that they stay until they either “emotionally die” (In full or part) or really die. Same applies to men, of course.

I was a doormat for years. My husband wants to argue about everything. Now not every public argument is a loud affair that others can overhear or be aware of.

Anyway, yes, the only escape is death.
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Aneed72, thank you for your reply. I'm sorry to hear that you've had such a difficult time with your husband.

I was only thinking about physical death not emotional death. For me I agree with the statement that for far too many people, mainly women, only death or emotional death is their way to escape an abusive situation. I also agree that the resources for people (once again mainly women) to escape abusive situations are far too limited and difficult to get. I do know some women who were in abusive situations and were able to escape by leaving the situation so there is some hope.
 

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