Avoiding being a "do gooder" in life, (challenging subject again)

[grahamg]

My brother was a champion conker player!

Good news on the conkers front:
https://petition.parliament.uk/arch... or government,Government or Parliament to do.

"It’s about something that the UK Government or Parliament is not directly responsible for. Why was this petition rejected?

There's no law or government policy banning children from playing conkers, so we're not sure exactly what you'd like the Government or Parliament to do.

If an individual school decides to ban conkers on health & safety grounds, this would be a decision for the school, not the Government or Parliament."

 

[Alligatorob]

Right, I'll put that situation straight asap, (though it may take a little while, think sticking a sharp needle through a horse chestnut, forcing a string through the hole you've made, then two kids taking turns to have a crack at each others "conker"!).

Thanks to you and @Trish for the education. It is new to me. We have a lot of horse chestnuts around here going to waste, maybe it will catch on. After all soccer is (slowly).

 

[Trish]

I am unbelievably delighted to hear about your brothers great success, and what a wonderfully balanced childhood you both had, (how refreshing).
I never won any competitions, even though one conker I'd baked a bit lasted a long time in battles with my brother.

My father revealed how he'd cheated as a boy to beat all his mates, (would you believe it he'd attached a steel nut to the other end of the string, kept it hidden obviously while the other player had their go, then when he swung the but he'd do so in a way concealing it in his hand both before and after when grabbing it behind his back).

Those were the days hey, softies would just have to keep out of the way!

A tip for you @grahamg - soak your conkers in vinegar for no more than two minutes and let them dry. The key to success is the hardness of your conkers. Apparently

 

[Nathan]

Apologies that this post is long and waffly, but if you can get any idea of my meaning, and argument here, perhaps a useful discussion can ensue.

Yea, so I'm just going to address the thread title: Avoiding being a "do gooder" in life, (challenging subject again)"

Like @chic stated, being a positive, giving person enriches the human community, that's a +1.

Now, regarding the "do gooder" in the context of being a "busy body", all up in everyone else's affairs is just plain...some kind of obsessive-compulsive issue that ought to be taken up with a therapist.

 

[grahamg]

A tip for you @grahamg - soak your conkers in vinegar for no more than two minutes and let them dry. The key to success is the hardness of your conkers. Apparently

Not a euphemism there, (no of course not! ).
So vinegar for a couple of minutes is the advice of a champion conkeror! (Now you mention it, my dear old dad of the metal but on the other end of the cord said something about this, but we over did the exposure time).

 

[Trish]

Not a euphemism there, (no of course not! ).
So vinegar for a couple of minutes is the advice of a champion conkeror! (Now you mention it, my dear old dad of the metal but on the other end of the cord said something about this, but we over did the exposure time).

Not at all It's a fact and it comes from arguably the mightiest conkeror of his generation!

Yep. No more than two minutes is the golden rule

Happy New Year and the best of luck with your conkering activities in 2023. You never know, you may be the next Manchurian Conker King!

 

[grahamg]

Not at all It's a fact and it comes from arguably the mightiest conkeror of his generation!
Yep. No more than two minutes is the golden rule
Happy New Year and the best of luck with your conkering activities in 2023. You never know, you may be the next Manchurian Conker King!

I think my conkering days may be over, my eyesight not being what it was, (and I think you're kidding me anyway, and if so I do appreciate the intended fun very much! ).

 

[Trish]

I think my conkering days may be over, my eyesight not being what it was, (and I think you're kidding me anyway, and if so I do appreciate the intended fun very much! ).

I am kidding. I don't think conkers is a thing these days, I am sure Health & Safety would have a problem with it.

 

[Disgustedman]

Right now, couple behind me are arguing. No, I'm not going to go and try to calm it down, that's a private matter. But I do hurt for them, but I know it's not what they want or where they want to be (California) yuck.

So I'm sitting quietly waiting till they resolve it.

 

[Bretrick]

Up until about 30 years ago I suppose I was a do-gooder in as much as I tried to help new parents in how to bring up their children.
I came from a home with no help or guidance from my parents. It affected me so much, mistake after mistake very much to my detriment.
I still carry the effects of those years.
In trying to advise new parents I was met with stiff resistance. Their attitude being - What would someone who has never been a parent know about raising children?
I eventually took several steps back and stopped giving advice, I decided to let them make their own mistakes. Even though it was the child that came off second best.
Many people seem not to want advice, even though their way had negative consequences.

 

[grahamg]

Right now, couple behind me are arguing. No, I'm not going to go and try to calm it down, that's a private matter. But I do hurt for them, but I know it's not what they want or where they want to be (California) yuck.
So I'm sitting quietly waiting till they resolve it.

Good move I suspect.

My dear old dad, was told after his wife had died, he and my mother had spent their married lives arguing or rowing. He told my sister who had informed him, he had no idea and said in response:"Did we"?

in other words to those involved in well versed rowing and arguing, whose marriage was maybe partly founded on this kind of thing, just don't know they're doing it!

 

[grahamg]

Up until about 30 years ago I suppose I was a do-gooder in as much as I tried to help new parents in how to bring up their children. (Break)
In trying to advise new parents I was met with stiff resistance. Their attitude being - What would someone who has never been a parent know about raising children? I eventually took several steps back and stopped giving advice, I decided to let them make their own mistakes. Even though it was the child that came off second best.
Many people seem not to want advice, even though their way had negative consequences.

You can't assume children whose parents failed to take your advice suffered as a consequence. They may have done, but you should acknowledge they may have been better doing their own thing.

As an expert called Professor Akira Morita asserted, "what the child needs is the relationship with the parent, not some notion of children's rights". Inherent in his words is the concept a child's loving relationship with the parent is there, or develops because of the uniqueness of one to the other. All anyone can do by interfering is harm this relationship, so as long as there is no abuse, and the parent has shown commitment and care, you don't need to fix that, even were you able to do so.