Bad idea to leave someone with Dementia alone?

It would probably be a good idea to have some sort of plan legally in place. I haven't heard it in the news lately but a few years ago there would be news reports of people getting the court to assign them as an elderly person's guardian and then using up all that person's money.

My great-uncle had dementia and even though he lived with his brothers, he managed to wander off in winter weather and not get found in time.
 

I'll never forget the Christmas morning at my in-law's house. My father-in-law was developing dementia, but seemed OK that day, so his daughter asked him to bring something up from the cellar. He went off cheerfully enough, but didn't come back up right away. I ran down to see if he needed help, and he was gone.

For 3 hours we searched the house, the neighborhood, anywhere we could think to look. My brother-in-law put it out over his police radio, and after a while, we got a call that he was found sitting on a bench in front of a Dunkin Donuts that was 12 blocks away. He wasn't wearing a coat and had slippers on.

It was both frightening and heartbreaking. He insisted that his daughter told him to go get doughnuts. and he wouldn't get in the car until I bought 3 dozen doughnuts.

We never would have left him alone, but even with all of us there, he managed to wander away.
 
My brother's wife can not be left alone at this point. She is several years on that downward slope and he has to keep an eye on her all day every day, and it is wearing him out. They did just move to be closer to one of the children and family. Maybe one of them can give him a little break now and then.
 
Jaiden said:
I'll never forget the Christmas morning at my in-law's house. My father-in-law was developing dementia, but seemed OK that day, so his daughter asked him to bring something up from the cellar. He went off cheerfully enough, but didn't come back up right away. I ran down to see if he needed help, and he was gone.

For 3 hours we searched the house, the neighborhood, anywhere we could think to look. My brother-in-law put it out over his police radio, and after a while, we got a call that he was found sitting on a bench in front of a Dunkin Donuts that was 12 blocks away. He wasn't wearing a coat and had slippers on.

It was both frightening and heartbreaking. He insisted that his daughter told him to go get doughnuts. and he wouldn't get in the car until I bought 3 dozen doughnuts.

We never would have left him alone, but even with all of us there, he managed to wander away.
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Thanks for the information.
 
Robert59 said:
This lady I take care of went outside and was standing in the of the road wanting to kill herself. She has Bi-polar and now this Dementia.
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I feel for you. My Mother passed on due to Dementia. After she accidentally overdosed on some prescription medicines designed to help her (didn't remember that she had taken her medications), we had to move her into supervised assisted living...then a Dementia wing in that living place. Yes, arrange to get her constant supervised care for your own peace of mind.

Don't worry about how she will view her 'imprisonment' because she won't remember or know how or why towards the later stages, if she was anything like my Mother.

Dementia is a horrible disease.

Good Luck.
 
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When my mother tried to keep her mother at home, she had to be watched constantly. She liked to "do chores" but with disastrous results at times. She was washing dishes and my dad caught her getting ready to pour a dish pan full of water into one of the burners on the stove, thinking it was the sink.

Finally, I got the idea of letting her fold clothing and towels. We'd let her fold and then take them in the other room, unfold them and bring them back to refold. It seemed to calm her.
 
It’s a horrible disease and the likely hood of something happening like this is very high. Because of the short term memory problem it’s very easy for them to turn on the stove/space heater and completely forget about it. Maybe you could disable or block access to the higher risk things but in the long run you need a baby sitter. Unfortunately this is a difficult challenge for the care taker and eventually she will need assisted living. The Bi-polar just exacerbates the problems.
 
jujube said:
When my mother tried to keep her mother at home, she had to be watched constantly. She liked to "do chores" but with disastrous results at times. She was washing dishes and my dad caught her getting ready to pour a dish pan full of water into one of the burners on the stove, thinking it was the sink.

Finally, I got the idea of letting her fold clothing and towels. We'd let her fold and then take them in the other room, unfold them and bring them back to refold. It seemed to calm her.
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This GF of mine loves folding clothing. Tenncare wants to keep her in her home. She also loves taking shower's.
 
rasmusjc said:
Don't worry about how she will view her 'imprisonment' because she won't remember or know how or why towards the later stages, if she was anything like my Mother.

Dementia is a horrible disease.

Good Luck.
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Strange thing — My MIL was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. We got her into a Care Home where she existed, but that was the extent of it. Then one day her condition worsened and she was diagnosed with anemia and given a transfusion. Her daughter went to visit her in the hospital. Her mother recognized her, called her by name, and they carried on a conversation which pre-transfusion would have been utterly impossible. She was released from the hospital, back to the Home and the Alzheimer’s, where she died a few days later. To this day I have to wonder if her Alzheimer diagnosis was incorrect.
 
Robert59 said:
I'm waiting for Tenncare to put her in a group home which is taking forever.
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Tell them about the suicidal attempts. That may get some faster action. Talk to them and also put it in writing. They might decide to CTAs in case something really did happen to her.
 
Buckeye said:
My brother's wife can not be left alone at this point. She is several years on that downward slope and he has to keep an eye on her all day every day, and it is wearing him out. They did just move to be closer to one of the children and family. Maybe one of them can give him a little break now and then.
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I'm very sorry. He needs to take care of himself. Caregiving like this is extremely stressful and can shorten the life of the caregiver. It may get to the point where he can't do this anymore. And he and the rest of the family will need to accept that. As hard as it is.
 
My father's dementia came on very slowly so it was about ten years from the very first signs until he had to be put in a nursing home. At no point would he agree to live in help or living with one of us, so he was in his own home, alone, during those years.

During the early years little things can be done like unplugging the stove so he had to cook everything with the microwave. He was doing most of his cooking that way anyway. He was checked on daily and he made endless phone calls to my brother. He painted pictures, took care of his dog, watched TV and got along fairly well during those years in spite of delusions and mistakes.
 
I had a brother-in-law who had dementia and his wife had Alzhemeizer's at the same time; believe it or not. Yes, the care givers need a break once in a while or they will just burn-out and they wouldn't be good for anything. You can only do so much. You might be a hero but no one really is a super-hero. We all need some R & R time.
 

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