Beginners romance - the start -the end - a heartbreak epilogue


Senior Member
I had had several short versions of teenage dating/romance which had lead nowhere, just faltering steps to the real thing. But one stands out not because it was outstandingly different from the others but because of my research results 64 years later that lead to an astonishing end of a life I had not shared in any meaningful way?

This "romance" started in the grammar school playground, as I crossed it one day ; to be confronted by a yelling from a three storey open window. The yelling was female origin and was calling out my nickname ; known but to a few. "xxxxxx" "yyyyy" wants a date with you this weekend - will give you details later" and that was it. I hadn't agreed or disagreed ; I was dumbfounded! One must consider that this was a co-ed school of course and had hundreds of students ; male and female. So the act of searching me out and naming a girl I had never met or ever seen was astounding? This was the first of many known and unknown facts about "yyyyy" that would start with a simple date and then take 64 years to reveal a sad and cataclysmic truth. TBC

I knew our county reasonably well, so on the appointed day set off on the bike for a 5.3 mile ride the map tells me. This began before the end of term and during summer months so a pleasant ride and found her house a rather tall and imposing and impressive I suppose containing seven bedrooms? The house contained 'yyyyy' and her father only as I later discovered that her mother was incacerated in a long term care facility - which I would imagine was a mental health unit ?

I did meet her father briefly but he wasn't interested in me and I not in him. So on her advice we walked for 10-15 mins to the local canal banks and strolled along the bridle path beginning to get to know each other. Either she was unwilling or not allowed to cycle to my neck of the woods and so all our encounters whether the weather was mild or cold or snowing etc involved me toughing up and doing all the travelling.

Looking back I realized that I just accepted this as part of the deal! - and so we continued. At one point her birthday occurred and it was 6 mths behind mine and I was invited to a home event but turning up was confronted by a sea of faces some I recognized - male and female and it was all too much for me. So just handed over my small present and took off. Looking back not a good decision but there ya go - impetuous youth or more like terrified youth!

Wow! That sounds familiar. I've been there, and I have mixed memories. Some are poignant, while some were along the lines of "What was I thinking," and some along the lines of "I wish I could have handled that better." Dating is chaos, and certainly during the years of our grade school fumbling. I don't think that is necessarily bad. It's simply not the fairy tail we wish it could be.

All of that Dave - a good outcome could have been very fruitful but I was certainly not akin to a "wall street lawyer" in those days nor beyond!
We continued to walk the canal banks for a few more wks/mths - she started getting very giggly and I was trying to be serious [don't know why] and to this day I cannot remember how I ended it but end it I did and now it's sorta haunting me a bit? I continued my life unabated started working after leaving school - meeting new people - a bit of partying - meeting older girls and then I encountered her one more was strange ..............I was leaving the house one day with bike under arm when she suddenly appeared in the drive way - I was just dumbfounded this was some months after we had finished - she just said "can we have a talk about things" - my death throw reply was " sorry I'm late catching up with friends - some other time" ...............then I noticed my sister walking behind me.............and I did a double take ...................she was really here to see my sister? ...............but she wasn't and I never saw her again until she appeared in a newspaper article.
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Well that was the end of the story really for 40 years as I went about still being a growing teenager and wondering what to do with myself in this world. I was still at home with the rest of the family although our lives were often disconnected. I had groups of friends and we messed about as male friends do - others engaged with females of course and then disengaged so the groups could be sometimes fragile and fractured.

Finally all had dispersed from the region. Strange in a way because it was a pleasant fertile place ; safe and many would stay; get married have kids etc. But our group dispatched in the main. Some I heard later died young ; others emigrated to places like Canada and Oz. And so in the scheme of things it was time for me too and I headed south of uk to Hampshire, UK. There strangely I caught up with one previous friend from the north and our paths crossed from time to time but there were more girls to be involved with etc etc.

This one guy caught up with me one day and showed me a copy of the local rag from our previous neck of the woods and there half page picture was the girl I had just turned down parading as Rose Queen of the particular town we gravitated to for music and cinema etc. Strangely enough I can still remember my emotions from that day - flat and disinterested - the chapter had closed on that event and I never heard about her for another 40 years!! tbc
That stuff happens. It happened to me. Not the typical Hollywood romantic comedy, but it's just the way it happens. Few of us have any intention of permanent or long term relations when we are young. It's bittersweet when we meet the "one," but the timing is wrong. Later it dawns on us that the "one" may not have been the one, but we never know for sure. We move on. Our lives evolve.
Yes and mine did just that - stayed south of Watford Gap for the rest of my early working life ; got married had kids then started getting bored with things and got a job in Hong Kong for a few years - and there we had a ball ; then back to Brit and got the same job back I had left - they were getting that short! Itchy feet though by that time - Once the life beyond has been sampled then?? so applied for emigration to Oz and they were always short of young employees over there /here so took off permanently - one wife and two kids. Life progressed with fun times then just recently just gotta twitch to re-connect with my youth for fun. Not quite such a good idea after all. And in particular with the said girl in the "Rose Queen" dress! I tried it alone stumbling and struggling down dead end www. pathways and not getting anywhere until I came across the new breed of "Let us help you find lost families and friends" no fee asked for. Sounded to good to be true but it was!! tbc [This bit gets rather exciting; breathtaking but tinged with some sadness]? tbc
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I thought I might just wait awhile till the coronation fever settles down and we get back to our humdrum discussions again? - is that alright with my many followers!! - heartbreak hotel is just around the corner!!
well here we go then - this could be the end of a wonderful romance as they say in the films! - one "finding friends" group as assisting and bringing up dribs and drabs but it seemed to be getting bogged down until rescue came from a very persistant and helpful lady from Dublin. She seemed to suddenly appear on the scene ; said she was still with the said group but sorta freelance ; I was getting a bit desperate to continue at this point so took her at her word. My god she was like a rocket taking off and disappeared as soon as her work was done! She was obviously registered with various council sites and other webs for family history gathering and even set me up as a member with one of them on a temp basis! - she was like a guardian angel come to life and just kept going where others had faultered!

But it was not good news:

The said 'girlfriend' ; lady had been married twice and died tragically of cancer. I just got that empty feeling like a small part of my life had fallen off the truck?

She had married originally and I spoke to her 'daughter' by phone who still lives in England. The conversation was enabled again from the lady from Dublin. She had tracked down the daughter's email address and working dvd ; don't ask me how but as we tapped at our keys together she then explained " this is the daughters working website ; she is there now - why don't you ring her right now?" - I did - and this is what happened next tbc
well I was hyped up on something probably alcohol and 20 tabs a day of something else and I sorta lost the plot a bit and garbled somewhat - managed to explain who I was and why I was ringing and I think 'how' I had tracked her down cos often people in UK and probably elsewhere are suspicious of unrecognized phone calls. But this was at least her working phone at which dvd viewers of her art programs could be watched. So getting a call from a stranger was quite normal in a way? Anyway I was getting too emotional and exciteable and final backed out saying I would contact her by messenger Facebook. I then collapsed emotionally and took a break!! tbc
A Requiem?

What my Dublin sleuth had detected is that my former girlfriend had indeed been married twice, and I had spoken to her daughter or step-daughter ; and during her second marriage had lived in a small Welsh village in a nice whitewashed cottage overkooking the sea.

This cottage may have stood furnished ready for sale but never sold to this day, or tried by some and then not liked it after all, so may have changed hands several times. I have walked through it on several occasions via video linkage but now I am losing the urge to continue. After speaking to her daughter/stepdaughter on that brief first occasion I have simple sent her a short email thanking her for her assistance.

The Dublin lady plus others close to me have commented - "asking any further questions rather turns into an intrusion ? as what happened to her life after you parted had no connection to you or yours and this could be misconstrued as intrusiveness? " - No one has chosen to re- start any part of the story? You can of course wonder what might have been for ever!! THE END [or in fact is it?]
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of course - it's just called 'dreaming'!! - I am sure some rock star has written a song about it! how strange just came across an old rock favorite "2 outa 3 ain't bad" by Meatloaf now I wonder where that came from???

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