Being number one, and what it might cost you,......!

[grahamg]

I found this article on someone attempting to be number one at whatever it might be:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/aging-well/201007/not-being-number-one

Quote:
"What is it that I find so dreadful about being one's best? How can I criticize the admonitions and encouragements of teachers and parents to rise to your full potential? Let me count the ways. First, this endeavor to achieve discourages one from admitting weakness, pain, or defeat. Whether on the athletic field, in the classroom, in love or war, no one wants to fail. No one likes a loser! Better to die than to give up.

There are several other very negative consequences of this notion that being number one is the most important thing, (or, as is sometimes said, "the only thing.") First, it directs people in very narrow channels of growth and development."

Break

"Another terrible outcome of this stress on winning is that it encourages people to cheat and to lie."

Break

"One of the best things about getting older is that you wise up to the "game" that has conscripted the younger ones in our midst. At 60 plus, it is possible to admit that one is not the best, is not striving to be the best, and finds it easy to see "best" for the illusory title it is. One can imagine a world that is better off without the struggles and competition to be number one. Joy can be found elsewhere."

Remember, as Dr. Seuss said: "You have to be odd to be number one"!

 

[tbeltrans]

I am number one at being me. Since that seems to come naturally, there is no narrowness or stress about it, and there is certainly no need to cheat or lie to accomplish it.

If anyone else tries to be me, at best it will be a cheap imitation, but also would beg the question as to why anyone would want to be something other than themselves. So I doubt I will have any stress inducing competition.

Tony

 

[chic]

I'd like to be number one. I'm forever an individualist already.

 

[Irwin]

For most of us, being "one's best" is almost never being "the best," but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to reach our potential and do the best we can at everything we try. That's how you find out if you excel at anything.

Then again, if we don't try to do our best and we fail, we can just claim that we didn't really try.

And I don't know about anybody else, but I don't need a successful university professor telling me it's okay if I fail. That doesn't make it any easier—especially if it's something I really want to do.

 

[SetWave]

 

[fuzzybuddy]

Ambition can be a double edge sword. It depends on what you give up to be #1. And there are personal, and professional gains to become #1. Man O War was a famous race horse in the 1919/20s. There are statues of the horse, he was named "Horse Of The Year". He came in "first" in most of his races, what were the names of the horses, who came in 8th?

 

[grahamg]

View attachment 162422

"A flower does not think though does it", and I'd guess human beings like ourselves are often intending or hoping to compete well if not win, possibly every time we attempt whatever it might be!
I admit I felt competitive in my school days, and wished to get higher marks than others, and when I found I couldn't be top at any subject in particular, I aimed to be as good as I could be in many subjects, thus push myself forward, (though I struggled with languages).
In the end though academic success was "not the be all and end all", and being aware there is more to life than this is important.

 

[tbeltrans]

Since I can only speak for myself...

For me, playing guitar or piano constitute an oasis in which I really don't care what other people think. There is no winning or losing, number 1 or number 10 in this activity for me. I just do it for my own enjoyment.

As for on the job, I feel that a job is not a "right", but instead we earn the trust of somebody else in what we are able to do for them. When we are paid to do something, we do it to the best of our ability, just as we expect best possible for our own dollars spent. It isn't a matter of being number 1, but instead of living up to our responsibility when somebody else has paid for our time and efforts.

Somehow, things get all twisted around and some people make it all about themselves. That is when being number 1 and beating out the next guy becomes important. More often than not, we are a part of a team, a community, a country and it is about US, not just ME.

Anyway, that is my view for myself. Others may feel very differently, or partially agree, or whatever.

Tony

 

[SetWave]

"A flower does not think though does it", and I'd guess human beings like ourselves are often intending or hoping to compete well if not win, possibly every time we attempt whatever it might be!
I admit I felt competitive in my school days, and wished to get higher marks than others, and when I found I couldn't be top at any subject in particular, I aimed to be as good as I could be in many subjects, thus push myself forward, (though I struggled with languages).
In the end though academic success was "not the be all and end all", and being aware there is more to life than this is important.

One can gain great insight by conversing with flowers.
Actually, I dread admitting that I am very competitive. Winning and being first was always a goal. Luckily, although that competitive spirit is still alive and lurking, I no longer care and life is so much better.
Learned that from a flower.

 

[Irwin]

I'm not sure that I was ever that competitive, but I always felt the need to prove myself over and over—that I was as good as everyone else. It was my motivation when I went to college—not so much in high school. And at work.

What I found out, though, was that life is a popularity contest. It's not so much what you could do but how much people like you.

 

[tbeltrans]

I'm not sure that I was ever that competitive, but I always felt the need to prove myself over and over—that I was as good as everyone else. It was my motivation when I went to college—not so much in high school. And at work.

What I found out, though, was that life is a popularity contest. It's not so much what you could do but how much people like you.

Fortunately, in engineering, my experience was always what you could do. We were hired to do a job and either one could or could not. I certainly saw engineers who couldn't keep up, but most did fine. Generally, engineering types aren't interested in popularity contests and don't seem to do well among those who are (at least that has been true with those I have worked with).

Tony

 

[grahamg]

I'm not sure that I was ever that competitive, but I always felt the need to prove myself over and over—that I was as good as everyone else. It was my motivation when I went to college—not so much in high school. And at work.
What I found out, though, was that life is a popularity contest. It's not so much what you could do but how much people like you.

Here is a test supposed to figure out how competitive we might be:
https://www.mockquestions.com/interview/Personal/How-competitive-are-you?-GQT23206400.html

If that one does not work try this one:
https://psychologia.co/how-competitive-are-you/

(I scored 60% on the second one )

 

[Irwin]

Here is a test supposed to figure out how competitive we might be:
https://www.mockquestions.com/interview/Personal/How-competitive-are-you?-GQT23206400.html

If that one does not work try this one:
https://psychologia.co/how-competitive-are-you/

(I scored 60% on the second one )

That's what I got. Here's my summary:

Your competitiveness score is about 60%.
You can and do compete at times but you are not a highly ambitious person. You are more on a balanced side where you are quite productive but also take plenty of time to recover and to 'stop and smell the roses'.

That actually pretty accurate.