Bill Maher's opinion on Trans kids

dseag2

Dallas, TX
Location
Dallas, TX
I'm a gay man, but I agree with this. I felt very feminine when I was very young, but I am so happy I am still a man now. I am so happy my parents in the 60's didn't support this or have access to hormones that supressed my masculinity. I am not against Trans people, just the parents who support this prior to adulthood.

 

feywon

Senior Member
Agree with @dseag2. I didn't watch the video, because Maher is not my cup of tea. He grates on my nerves as much as some tv pundits who's politics are opposed to mine.

While most transgender people know at early age, not everyone who feels more like the other sex than their birth sex prepuberty is actually transgender. Sexual preference and gender identification don't always line up neatly.

Both are influenced by more than one factor, hormones being one and there is no denying the ones we're flooded with at puberty can have a profound influence on us.

However, it is crucial that parents acknowledge a child's feelings, be supportive, and i would think, frame making the choice to alter ones physical self to their self image as the kind of choice that should be deferred to adulthood-- like parenthood. Learn about your options and prepare as much as possible intellectually and emotionally but defer the final step.

Part of me can't help considering the possibility that some young children might be heavily influenced by the societal/cultural tendency to see it as an either/or thing that all of us must be one or the other. As androgyny and nonbinary variations of being human become more visible and accepted there won't be the same influences, pressures on kids who don't fit neatly into heteronormative, cisgender categories.
 
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Medusa

Member
Location
DC
Completely and thoroughly agree! I have a child who is considering a "mild" sort of, "moving toward androgyny" approach with low-level hormones. But they are 32. I would never have supported that when they were younger than say, 23 - 25 (when we're sure the frontal lobe is finished developing and a person is fully capable of making serious, life-changing, long-term decisions.
 

feywon

Senior Member
Completely and thoroughly agree! I have a child who is considering a "mild" sort of, "moving toward androgyny" approach with low-level hormones. But they are 32. I would never have supported that when they were younger than say, 23 - 25 (when we're sure the frontal lobe is finished developing and a person is fully capable of making serious, life-changing, long-term decisions.
Decades ago the science was saying 'adolescent' stage of development extended into mid-twenties. Part of why marriage, parenthood better delayed.
 
I doubt those kids, who committed suicide because of gender identity issues find Maher 's "it's just a silly phase" shtick really funny. Some kids are struggling with this issue. The fact that this issue is now discussed in the open, not hidden, and only whispered about, like 20 years ago, doesn't mean it never existed. If I were a parent, and my child claimed those issues, I 'd have no idea how to handle it. What's the right thing to do, and what's wrong? We don't know, because we never faced up to the issue, and learned to deal with it. We are blindly grasping at solutions, without any knowledge of the consequences.
 

Medusa

Member
Location
DC
I doubt those kids, who committed suicide because of gender identity issues find Maher 's "it's just a silly phase" shtick really funny. Some kids are struggling with this issue. The fact that this issue is now discussed in the open, not hidden, and only whispered about, like 20 years ago, doesn't mean it never existed. If I were a parent, and my child claimed those issues, I 'd have no idea how to handle it. What's the right thing to do, and what's wrong? We don't know, because we never faced up to the issue, and learned to deal with it.
I didn't watch the video. Regardless, yours are some really solid and concerning points and I'm glad now that we are more open about these issues. I think, as a parent, the way I would deal with it in, -- well the way I did deal with it, was to let my child experiment with clothing, hair style, etc. She had a more masculine walk as a teen and when I found a breast minimizing garment in her laundry, after asking what it was, made little comment as she didn't seem to want to discuss it then.

It's a tough road to navigate and I agree, it was much tougher in the not too distant past. I'm glad we're opening up and beginning to accept each other and thus, ourselves.
 

Ronni

The motormouth ;)
Location
Nashville TN
My 10 year old grandchild is uncomfortable with their gender and has been for a long time. There have been indications since they were 2 years old, and those leanings have become more obvious as they’ve grown, and they have been more and more verbal about the discomfort. Their parents (my daughter and son in law) have neither encouraged nor discouraged their child, they’ve just made themselves safe to communicate to, compassionate their child’s struggles, and fully supportive of their child’s right to choose. As have I.

The child recently told their parents that their pronouns were now she/her, and that’s the way she wanted to be referred to. And wanted changes to her wardrobe because she was extremely uncomfortable with the clothing choices available to her. None were obviously gender specific because she had never wanted typically male clothing.

We all went on a shopping trip together, and I was deeply affected by the joy in this child’s whole being when she was able to shop in the girls department. She herself was crying with joy and happiness. It was profoundly moving. She chose nothing decidedly feminine, but the cut of the clothing was different, leggings instead of shorts, cute overalls with a star appliqué instead of jeans, that kind of thing.

Her parents found an amazing therapist and my grandchild is attending therapy every other week. So far she has no interest in body modification, she just wants to be able to express herself by making choices in a manner reflective of who she feels she is.

I’m crying as I write this. This beautiful person is being given freedoms and choices, is able to fully express herself in a manner consistent with her innermost self, and is supported and encouraged to reach her full potential. So many are not. They are ridiculed, scorned, forced into an ill fitting mold in order to be accepted, and live their lives in misery.

I am grateful beyond measure that my grandchild isn’t one of them. She is very aware of the struggles that lay ahead for her, is realistic about how her choices can impact the way she’s treated and that they may well change as she moves into puberty and then adulthood, but she has a strong supportive family, wonderful accepting friends, and competent therapeutic support so that hopefully her journey will be more positive than negative and she can maintain her joyful, generous and loving spirit.
 
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Em in Ohio

Senior Member
Location
OH HI OH
I'm a gay man, but I agree with this. I felt very feminine when I was very young, but I am so happy I am still a man now. I am so happy my parents in the 60's didn't support this or have access to hormones that supressed my masculinity. I am not against Trans people, just the parents who support this prior to adulthood.

There were some funny one-liners in Bill Maher's monolog. My favorite was: "Maybe the girl who hates girlie stuff just needs to learn that being female doesn't mean you have to act like a Kardashian."

I have to admit ignorance as to the terminology beyond gay and straight. For others like me, I found this link: https://www.issm.info/sexual-health-qa/what-is-the-difference-between-transsexual-and-transgender

What I found most shocking was that anyone would mess with their child's hormones! Why was such a thing ever medically allowed?

I am happy with my female body, except for the desire to be taller and stronger. However, my interests and activities were, for the most part, things more attributable to males. I find it amusing nowadays as the advertising pop-ups online don't seem to have a clue if I am male or female - and I like it that way!
 
I am not against Trans people, just the parents who support this prior to adulthood.
I agree, in my non-expert opinion I am not sure we should expect any minors to really understand their sexuality. Let alone make irreversible decisions based on what they believe or think they believe at an early age.

I don't remember ever having doubts about my sexuality, but I know that is easy for a heterosexual man to say. I do remember lots of confusion about other things... Still have a bit of that, LOL.
 

feywon

Senior Member
My 10 year old grandchild is uncomfortable with their gender and has been for a long time. There have been indications since they were 2 years old, and those leanings have become more obvious as they’ve grown, and they have been more and more verbal about the discomfort. Their parents (my daughter and son in law) have neither encouraged nor discouraged their child, they’ve just made themselves safe to communicate to, compassionate their child’s struggles, and fully supportive of their child’s right to choose. As have I.

The child recently told their parents that their pronouns were now she/her, and that’s the way she wanted to be referred to. And wanted changes to her wardrobe because she was extremely uncomfortable with the clothing choices available to her. None were obviously gender specific because she had never wanted typically male clothing.

We all went on a shopping trip together, and I was deeply affected by the joy in this child’s whole being when she was able to shop in the girls department. She herself was crying with joy and happiness. It was profoundly moving. She chose nothing decidedly feminine, but the cut of the clothing was different, leggings instead of shorts, cute overalls with a star appliqué instead of jeans, that kind of thing.

Her parents found an amazing therapist and my grandchild is attending therapy every other week. So far she has no interest in body modification, she just wants to be able to express herself by making choices in a manner reflective of who she feels she is.

I’m crying as I write this. This beautiful person is being given freedoms and choices, is able to fully express herself in a manner consistent with her innermost self, and is supported and encouraged to reach her full potential. So many are not. They are ridiculed, scorned, forced into an ill fitting mold in order to be accepted, and live their lives in misery.

I am grateful beyond measure that my grandchild isn’t one of them. She is very aware of the struggles that lay ahead for her, is realistic about how her choices can impact the way she’s treated and that they may well change as she moves into puberty and then adulthood, but she has a strong supportive family, wonderful accepting friends, and competent therapeutic support so that hopefully her journey will be more positive than negative and she can maintain her joyful, generous and loving spirit.
Kudos to your family in how you are all dealing with this and supporting the child.
 

Sunny

SF VIP
Location
Maryland
I am an enormous fan of Bill Maher. My son and I watch him every week, and always discuss the show afterwards. We both agreed that his New Rules (the video in the OP above) was absolutely brilliant this week, and exactly where we stand on the issue IMO, it is total insanity. And leave it to Bill to find some real humor in what is basically a tragic situation. (I loved that joke about being a pirate!) 😆
 

Sunny

SF VIP
Location
Maryland
Completely and thoroughly agree! I have a child who is considering a "mild" sort of, "moving toward androgyny" approach with low-level hormones. But they are 32. I would never have supported that when they were younger than say, 23 - 25 (when we're sure the frontal lobe is finished developing and a person is fully capable of making serious, life-changing, long-term decisions.
"They" is a plural pronoun. Unless a trans person has morphed into several people, it makes no sense at all and confuses the language to the point where it's impossible to have a sane conversation about someone (someones?) without using singular pronouns.

Example: "My neighbor's daughter just graduated from college. The neighbor is very proud of them. They are coming to visit her next week. They are staying in her guest room. No, her guest room is only big enough for one person. Why do you ask?"

If "he" and "she" are so offensive, and we are supposed to be engaged in an effort to wipe out any concept of binary genders, making everyone some neutral "thing," then a new pronoun has to be invented. "It" comes across as insulting, so the pronoun would have to be something else.
 

Nathan

Well-known Member
I couldn't agree more!!

I've never heard of this guy, but we need him to come to the UK to speak...
Bill Maher has been a comedy icon here in the States since...well, ever since we were all younger.
He does an incredibly great job of blending social commentary with solid comedic style. He gives no quarters, takes no prisoners.
I almost drowned in my coffee over a couple comments he made :p :coffee: .
Puberty is such a bizarre phase in life, I don't think any permanent changes should be made until all that subsides.
 

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
Bill Maher has been a comedy icon here in the States since...well, ever since we were all younger.
He does an incredibly great job of blending social commentary with solid comedic style. He gives no quarters, takes no prisoners.
I almost drowned in my coffee over a couple comments he made :p :coffee: .
Puberty is such a bizarre phase in life, I don't think any permanent changes should be made until all that subsides.
Well I've saved him to my faves on youtube... we used to be able to say things like that publicly.. the woke brigade have robbed us of free speech.
 

chic

SF VIP
Location
U.S.
I'm glad these choices didn't exist when I was a kid. I wanted to be a faerie princess type but mother nature made me tall, gangly and dead plain. :confused: But I was athletic and played sports with the boys (and my girlfriends). On the playing field all things were equal as long as you were good.
When puberty hit me everything changed in a matter of months and I started reading fashion magazines, gossiping with my girlfriends, going shopping and enjoying it, and best of all boys were for kissing. 😊 Things turned out okay. I was lucky to have been born back then. I think of this every time I hear about all the gender confused kids these days.
 

helenbacque

Senior Member
Location
Central Florida
I couldn't agree more!!

I've never heard of this guy, but we need him to come to the UK to speak...
Bill Maher is a popular American comedian, political commentator and talk show host with a weekly program on HBO. He leans left but is liberal with criticism of either party. His wit at times can be crude and cutting but usually right on target with comments. Utube has a lot of his clips both current and earlier.

His Q & A at Oxford Union:
 

Jules

Well-known Member
Location
Beautiful BC
Puberty is such a bizarre phase in life, I don't think any permanent changes should be made until all that subsides.
That’s how my husband and I feel but will never say anything. He has legally changed his name and started the treatments to transition at 17 and is now 19. For years I thought she would come out as gay. If she’d been a big, strapping kid it would have been less of a surprise rather than a fine boned girl who is only 5’6”. He will excel academically so do hope this helps compensate for many of the challenges he will face.
 


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