Boisterous Families - Was Yours?

Jules

Jules

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Did you grow up in a boisterous and energetic family? Then, did you raise a boisterous family and are theirs carrying on with that? Or did you come from a quiet and conservative home?
 

We were energetic but drama free. My mom's mother was a narcissist and her dad was an alcoholic so my mom grew up with constant arguing, especially at the dinner table. She did not tolerate anything but pleasant conversation at meals and always made sure she and my dad kept their conflicts private.
 

As an only child, things were quiet. I envied the raucous behaviour at homes where there were lots of kids.

With my two kids, it was less quiet than when I grew up. It still wasn’t loud until the random arguments started between me and the ex.

Their homes, with 3 kids each, are busy and loud. The one married into a family of busy screamers. Nothing is said at a normal level. She commented on this lately.
 
My father did not tolerate noise of any kind, let alone normal conversation. Our household was very quiet. We couldn't even do the dishes after dinner. It has affected me, in that I don't like noise or situations where there is a lot of conversation. Sometimes, I just have to extract myself from the room for a while.

On the other hand, there were no noise restrictions while raising our daughter, and, our house was filled with her friends.
 
Pinky said:
My father did not tolerate noise of any kind, let alone normal conversation.
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Same with mine. After I had foolishly invited a friend over to have dinner, she said to me, "Why was it so tense and quiet at your dinner table?! And why did your dad glare at me when I said how good the food was?!" I said, "You're allowed to talk at your table?!" She dropped me quick after that.
 
My parents had 4 boys in a row, and then my sister was born when we were adults and nearly adults. Mom wore a maternity dress to my older brother's wedding, and I was a junior in high school when Bonny was born. By then, we'd moved to the city.

Up til then we were a family of 4 rambunctious farm boys surrounded by an extended family full of opinionated Italians and Irishmen(and women) who all gathered at the farmhouse several times a year; Christmases, Thanksgivings, bridal showers and baby showers were always busy, noisy affairs, especially when the Chianti and whiskey started flowing like water.

When Bonny was born, my parents were middle-age, my 2 older brothers were married and gone, and we'd moved to a quiet sub-rural area. Holidays were still noisy, especially after my brothers became fathers ...of sons.

Jeez, that's right...I only had nephews until Bonny had a daughter. I was going to say things got quieter after she was born and we'd left the farm, but I'd be wrong.

So, yeah, I'd say we were a boisterous bunch.

As for my own family, I wouldn't characterize us as boisterous, but then, maybe I don't know what a quiet family is like. We weren't quiet, but we weren't excessively loud. We were active, but some of our activities were quiet nights camping in the woods, fishing at a lake or river, me reading books to them, long nature hikes.
 
Boisterous would be too polite. There was always screaming and yelling and fighting and not just because they trusted God with birth control and as a result had 8 kids in 10 years time.

My mother did cave when the pill came out in the 60s and despite being fanatically religious gratefully took that miracle after my youngest sister was born in 1962. Perhaps she considered it a miracle. I couldn't blame her if she did. I often remark that if I had given birth 8 times in 10 years, I'd be crazy too. Picture the mother in Stephen King's Carrie and, no, I do not exaggerate though, thank God, I'm not telekinetic.

I wouldn't say we were utterly quiet. My daughter - note one child only - and I were quite talkative but raised voices were far less common though I could yell when she was naughty. Mostly though I took a more reasoned approached to correcting bad behavior. Yelling never, ever took the form of belittling. It was more when there was a need to yell stop right there! What are you doing?

It was tough because I broke the pattern of physical and verbal abuse and had no example set me to go by in doing so. I often thought what would my mother do and did the opposite. My mother would not, for instance, quietly sit me down and explain why that behavior was wrong and shouldn't be done. Nor did she say think before you act and if this will hurt you or anyone else, don't do it.

We talked constantly but talked not yelled. Still do. Grandson has actually said a time or two, please, I can't hear the TV. Me and her, we can talk and still follow the show. Don't ask me how.

But just how noisy can one be when there's only two of us?

I find I do have to qualify this however. Now I can sit in perfect silence and haven't watched TV in literally years but especially when I was young, I couldn't take the silence without nine other people in the background so would turn on the TV or radio for background noise. I used to play music as in records a lot more too.

Now I'll go all day at times without any noise at all. Usually there's only noise when I watch an YouTube video or livestream a movie or show or go behind the pay wall of that one comedian I will pay to go behind his pay wall and I hate it myself if the volume's too loud on that so it just isn't. But most days now they're grown and gone, there's literally no noise at all except the occassional video.

Or when the fam visits. The four of us did get quite boisterous Thanksgiving. But it was good noise. Laughing, talking and having fun together noise. Not the bad noise of my childhood.
 
My husband had 6 sisters and four brothers, he said there was complete bedlam in the house. His father was a policeman but never checked the children on their behaviour. He said his poor mother never had a bath in peace. She was on the go all the time, she had numerous headaches and sent my husband (then only a little boy) to the chemist shop to get headache drafts. No wonder she died at age 62 with a brain hemorrhage.
My family were very quiet because we were always living in rented places. We were always being told to shoosh and not talk loudly. When we eventually moved into our own home the first thing, I remember asking my mother, "Can we talk loudly" and when she said "Yes" we were
whooping it up because we felt free at last. At evening mealtime, we had to be quiet and listen to our father discussing what he did at work that day. He was a boiler maker and in great detail he told us about how many rivets he fired into a large metal plate. We sat there in wonderment. The worst time was my sister questioning my father on religion. He was a staunch Catholic and we were never allowed to say what we thought about what was in the Bible.
 
@Blaze Duskdreamer wrote :...

Boisterous would be too polite. There was always screaming and yelling and fighting and not just because they trusted God with birth control and as a result had 8 kids in 10 years time.

My mother did cave when the pill came out in the 60s and despite being fanatically religious gratefully took that miracle after my youngest sister was born in 1962. Perhaps she considered it a miracle. I couldn't blame her if she did. I often remark that if I had given birth 8 times in 10 years, I'd be crazy too. Picture the mother in Stephen King's Carrie and, no, I do not exaggerate though, thank God, I'm not telekinetic.

I wouldn't say we were utterly quiet. My daughter - note one child only - and I were quite talkative but raised voices were far less common though I could yell when she was naughty. Mostly though I took a more reasoned approached to correcting bad behavior. Yelling never, ever took the form of belittling. It was more when there was a need to yell stop right there! What are you doing?

It was tough because I broke the pattern of physical and verbal abuse and had no example set me to go by in doing so. I often thought what would my mother do and did the opposite. My mother would not, for instance, quietly sit me down and explain why that behavior was wrong and shouldn't be done. Nor did she say think before you act and if this will hurt you or anyone else, don't do it.

We talked constantly but talked not yelled. Still do. Grandson has actually said a time or two, please, I can't hear the TV. Me and her, we can talk and still follow the show. Don't ask me how.

But just how noisy can one be when there's only two of us?


Excuse me ...when were you living my life ?.. You've written word for word what I could have written...right down to having only one child, and the only way of knowing how to raise her was to do the opposite of what my parents did.. ...even my baby sister was born in 1962...even my mother didn't take birth control due to religious reasons... and never did actually.. she ended up being sterilised because she almost lost her life with the last one ..almost identical life to mine
 
hollydolly said:
@Blaze Duskdreamer wrote :...

Boisterous would be too polite. There was always screaming and yelling and fighting and not just because they trusted God with birth control and as a result had 8 kids in 10 years time.

My mother did cave when the pill came out in the 60s and despite being fanatically religious gratefully took that miracle after my youngest sister was born in 1962. Perhaps she considered it a miracle. I couldn't blame her if she did. I often remark that if I had given birth 8 times in 10 years, I'd be crazy too. Picture the mother in Stephen King's Carrie and, no, I do not exaggerate though, thank God, I'm not telekinetic.

I wouldn't say we were utterly quiet. My daughter - note one child only - and I were quite talkative but raised voices were far less common though I could yell when she was naughty. Mostly though I took a more reasoned approached to correcting bad behavior. Yelling never, ever took the form of belittling. It was more when there was a need to yell stop right there! What are you doing?

It was tough because I broke the pattern of physical and verbal abuse and had no example set me to go by in doing so. I often thought what would my mother do and did the opposite. My mother would not, for instance, quietly sit me down and explain why that behavior was wrong and shouldn't be done. Nor did she say think before you act and if this will hurt you or anyone else, don't do it.

We talked constantly but talked not yelled. Still do. Grandson has actually said a time or two, please, I can't hear the TV. Me and her, we can talk and still follow the show. Don't ask me how.

But just how noisy can one be when there's only two of us?


Excuse me ...when were you living my life ?.. You've written word for word what I could have written...right down to having only one child, and the only way of knowing how to raise her was to do the opposite of what my parents did.. ...even my baby sister was born in 1962...even my mother didn't take birth control due to religious reasons... and never did actually.. she ended up being sterilised because she almost lost her life with the last one ..almost identical life to mine
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Sister! High fives. I do hope she was a little less like Carrie's Mom than mine was. People think I exaggerate. I do not. She literally ran around the house when she was mad at us when we were in our teens yelling thou shalt not suffer a witch to live! When we were little, it was spare the rod and spoil the child. Ma was scary. I was black and blue my whole childhood and slept with one eye open. If yours was as bad, sister! Again. We survived it! And did better by our offspring. I think we've earned the right to be proud of ourselves.
 
Blaze Duskdreamer said:
Sister! High fives. I do hope she was a little less like Carrie's Mom than mine was. People think I exaggerate. I do not. She literally ran around the house when she was mad at us when we were in our teens yelling thou shalt not suffer a witch to live! When we were little, it was spare the rod and spoil the child. Ma was scary. I was black and blue my whole childhood and slept with one eye open. If yours was as bad, sister! Again. We survived it! And did better by our offspring. I think we've earned the right to be proud of ourselves.
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High 5 sista..... no my mother never ran around the house screaming.. and altho she never protected us from him, and. she often took a broom handle to me.. it was my father who was the major problem...like you I lived my life with skin which was rainbow coloured.. he broke my back once and refused to allow me hospital treatment.. and like you I could tell tales that would make those who had nice happy family lives..hair curl...

You're right Blaze...✊ we should .. altho we should never have been put into this position.. but yes we've got a right to be proud that we survived despite the evil beings who raised us... and changed that chain of evil from going into the future
 
hollydolly said:
High 5 sista..... no my mother never ran around the house screaming.. and altho she never protected us from him, and. she often took a broom handle to me.. it was my father who was the major problem...like you I lived my life with skin which was rainbow coloured.. he broke my back once and refused to allow me hospital treatment.. and like you I could tell tales that would make those who had nice happy family lives..hair curl...

You're right Blaze...✊ we should .. altho we should never have been put into this position.. but yes we've got a right to be proud that we survived despite the evil beings who raised us... and changed that chain of evil from going into the future
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Ooh, ouch. Yeah they were opposites. Dad would scream children should be seen and not heard and was liable to take the belt to you if you disturbed him but for the main part, he just retreated to their room when he was home and tried to pretend we weren't there. He did knock out a tooth that wasn't even loose when I was seven punching me in the jaw without warning for the great crime of watching him shave when he was the one left the bathroom door open. I didn't even yet know men shaved. I stopped short and gaped wondering what Dad was doing and he just turned around and wham right in the jaw without so much as a scram. But mostly he ignored us.

It was the shoe with my mother. She wore slip on shoes and when she lost her temper with all those children it'd slip off quick as a wink and wham, wham, wham. Wouldn't stop 'til her arm gave out. If you cried, she'd hit you for crying and how could not cry? I thought I was going to die sometimes but, fortunately, her arm would tire.

Sometimes I tell these honest stories and think normal people that didn't endure such things must think I exaggerate and find this all so hard to believe. How could they not? it's got to be totally shocking to those who haven't been there.
 
Blaze Duskdreamer said:
Ooh, ouch. Yeah they were opposites. Dad would scream children should be seen and not heard and was liable to take the belt to you if you disturbed him but for the main part, he just retreated to their room when he was home and tried to pretend we weren't there. He did knock out a tooth that wasn't even loose when I was seven punching me in the jaw without warning for the great crime of watching him shave when he was the one left the bathroom door open. I didn't even yet know men shaved. I stopped short and gaped wondering what Dad was doing and he just turned around and wham right in the jaw without so much as a scram. But mostly he ignored us.

It was the shoe with my mother. She wore slip on shoes and when she lost her temper with all those children it'd slip off quick as a wink and wham, wham, wham. Wouldn't stop 'til her arm gave out. If you cried, she'd hit you for crying and how could not cry? I thought I was going to die sometimes but, fortunately, her arm would tire.

Sometimes I tell these honest stories and think normal people that didn't endure such things must think I exaggerate and find this all so hard to believe. How could they not? it's got to be totally shocking to those who haven't been there.
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Exactly the same with me..I always think people will think I'm exaggerating.. except other abused kids, they know I;m not... but in reality I always stop waaaay short of the full horror of it all ( I have never told the whole story..not even to my husband, and definitely not told my daughter).. because people just would be too horrified, or absolutely not believe that I could still be alive..

BTW my father and his shoes were always a thing as well.. he'd whip a shoe off and throw it at my head for just talking..... my mother would use a slipper to hit with.. as well as the broom handle...
 
hollydolly said:
Exactly the same with me..I always think people will think I'm exaggerating.. except other abused kids, they know I;m not... but in reality I always stop waaaay short of the full horror of it all ( I have never told the whole story..not even to my husband, and definitely not told my daughter).. because people just would be too horrified, or absolutely not believe that I could still be alive..

BTW my father and his shoes were always a thing as well.. he'd whip a shoe off and throw it at my head for just talking..... my mother would use a slipper to hit with.. as well as the broom handle...
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Exactly. She was also a slapper as was my oldest sister who was often told to mind us. So I wound up in a situation where I had to tell something to both my daughter and grandson when they were quite young becasue I flinch at hands in my face.

Denists are a phobia for that and because one abused me when I was seven so an ordeal to go to and I don't nearly as often as I should. I have finally found a wonderful and understanding one so I'm hoping I'll see him more regularly. He patiently said once a year instead of twice would be fine as long as I came in annually.

But I digress! Bad habit. Toddlers have a terrible tendency to lovingly pat your face and due to flinching and pulling away instintively then seeing their little faces fall at that rejection, I had to tell both something so they wouldn't feel rejected but I did only keep it vague with Mommy/Grammy got slapped in the face a lot when she was little like you so hands in her face scare her. WIth a hug, and I do love you.
 
Blaze Duskdreamer said:
Exactly. She was also a slapper as was my oldest sister who was often told to mind us. So I wound up in a situation where I had to tell something to both my daughter and grandson when they were quite young becasue I flinch at hands in my face.

Denists are a phobia for that and because one abused me when I was seven so an ordeal to go to and I don't nearly as often as I should. I have finally found a wonderful and understanding one so I'm hoping I'll see him more regularly. He patiently said once a year instead of twice would be fine as long as I came in annually.

But I digress! Bad habit. Toddlers have a terrible tendency to lovingly pat your face and due to flinching and pulling away instintively then seeing their little faces fall at that rejection, I had to tell both something so they wouldn't feel rejected but I did only keep it vague with Mommy/Grammy got slapped in the face a lot when she was little like you so hands in her face scare her. WIth a hug, and I do love you.
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I totally understand...whispering is the one that sets me off..it makes me sick to my stomach... I won't go into reasons why....
 
Pretty quiet and conservative at home.
Most boisterous in our family was my Uncle from Maine that married my Grandmother's sister.
Uncle Whitey was a card and raised three sons who turned out to be everything from rodeo clown to Army Officer.
He even tossed children to the ceiling and called it fun.
His old house had 12ft ceilings and when tossed, you could feel the temperature change to much warmer as you neared the ceiling.
I tried to stay away from Uncle Whitey when visiting.
 
You know I cannot remember a bunch of my childhood....
dunno why, but thats how it is....doubt we were boisterous
however, dad was quiet and had hard discipline ......
 

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