Brother died no family

T

Tara

New Member
My brother died. We shared a house together. I am a youthful 75 yr old lady. His friends are trying to help me with the financial worries. The executor wants me to move to retirement home in a few months because he says the wiring is too dangerous. I own the
House now and I have no family left. Brother died on memorial day.

I am alone in the world. He is like rushing me. He wants me to look at different homes with him.i do not want to do this. I am interested in the Moravian manor in Lancaster. Pa.
I am in good health. What do you think? I do not think that there would be a fire here even with the old fuse box. Is there a waiting time for the. Moravian manor?
 

Welcome, Tara.

I am so sorry for your loss of your brother.
And that you have no other family. It's very difficult, I know.

I don't think the executor should be rushing you. Try to not let the rushing happen.
You will make a better decision, if you take more time to make it.
And it is an important decision which will matter a great deal, and for a long time into the future , for you.

I don't know anything about that specific place that you are considering. But I would resist being rushed. You deserve and should have the time you need.

There are many nice people here, who will have ideas for you,
and who will understand.
 

If you are happy with where you are and your current lifestyle, you should stay where you are at.

I will say several of my friends and relatives have moved into an independent living senior community and enjoy it very much. Having spoken to these folks, my wife and I just recently decided to move into a independent living senior community, I think it will suit us well.

Do what you think is best for you. If you decide to stay in your home, you can always move to another location sometime in the future. At least don't be in a hurry to do anything, if you are interested you can spend the next several months investigating options.
 
Welcome Tara, to our forum. I am so sorry about your brother.

"The executor wants me to move to retirement home in a few months because he says the wiring is too dangerous. I own the
House now"

Can you have an electrician come in and look at the wiring? I am suspicious of the executor rushing you. Does he get a payment for the selling your house? If you need the electrical work done to make the house safe, you possibly could get help through your local weatherization or HEAP programs. I would contact the office of the aging in your area and they will help you.

I think you should take your time and not let anyone rush you into making choices you will regret.
 
Welcome aboard, Tara...

I recently joined SF, too. I'm also an elder orphan, though I was the only child of a single parent and never enjoyed having siblings.

You've gotten some sage advice from the posters above. And, I agree, don't rush. Take the time to reconnoiter and examine what it is you really want. It's only been a few short weeks, so everything is still raw.

Call on your inner resources and don't be pushed or bullied by that executor. If he's an attorney, I'd file a grievance with the state bar. He sounds like an unconscionable individual.

Check back in. We're here to support you...
 
You own the house. Give the executor no thought.
I'm around your age and healthy too. When my husband died, everyone was pushing me to move to another state. "When are you moving? Where are you moving?" They were grabbing his tools and guns to buy or steal!
"Hey folks! I'm still here!"
They thought as soon as he died, my life was OVER!
These guys are right!
Don't make any decisions for a few years!
Have an electrician check the place out.
Make NO decisions out of FEAR!
Does the executor have a legal right to kick you out of your home? Find out!
Why are you considering a retirement home if you're still young and healthy?
Tell the executor to "Take a hike!"
 
Sympathies for the loss of your brother.

Depending on the age of executor, he may have no concept that 75 doesn’t make you incapable.

If you co-owned the house with your brother, it may just be easier paperwork for him if you sell and move.

Be cautious on the advice. There may or may not be an ulterior motive from the executor. Is he/she a relative.
 
It sounds to me like the executer has a vested interest in this property, maybe that is why he is doing a demolition job by telling you this and that are faulty and dangerous. Perhaps he wants be responsible for selling the house and buying it himself, on the cheap.
There is some good advice in the above posts, so, the house is yours, tell the executer that you will have your own people in to check the place out and carry out repairs or even sell it yourself.
Whatever you decide I wish you good luck, oh, and welcome to the forum. :)
 
timoc said:
It sounds to me like the executer has a vested interest in this property, maybe that is why he is doing a demolition job by telling you this and that are faulty and dangerous. Perhaps he wants be responsible for selling the house and buying it himself, on the cheap.
Click to expand...

See, someone else is suspicious of ulterior motives, as well.

Beware and trust your own instincts...
 
I agree with timoc. My first thought was who gets the house in the will and any other assets. As long as you aren’t in any hurry, don’t al
low them to rush you. Also, with your dear brother gone you may need to update your own will.
Call Moravian Manor, ask about their wait list or occupancy, have them send you their literature. Make a visit there if possible.
 
It would be helpful to know how your brother worded his will. General consensus is that, after the death of a spouse, partner, or someone close to you - never do anything for a YEAR!! When the partner of a friend of mine passed away (2007), all his friends swooped in to tell her that "he always said I could have this, or that!" Some of them came in the night and stole things or damaged things that they thought they should have gotten. She is now homeless and trying to survive. Don't let him talk you into anything!! If you can, hire an attorney to run interference and protect your interest!!
 
Tara said:
I am alone in the world.
Click to expand...

Well, now you have friends here on this forum.

Tara said:
He is like rushing me. He wants me to look at different homes with him.i do not want to do this.
Click to expand...

Who is the executor? Why is he trying to push you around, and who owns the house?

SmoothSeas said:
Call on your inner resources and don't be pushed or bullied by that executor. If he's an attorney, I'd file a grievance with the state bar. He sounds like an unconscionable individual.
Click to expand...

I completely agree. He sounds like a crook.
You should do what you want to do, and don't let anyone try to tell you what to do.
Make up your own mind, and do what you feel is best for you, including staying in the house if that's what you want.
 
Last edited:
Tara, the company that provides electricity to your home might have a program for seniors where they come out and check your wiring for free. Most utility providers do. If they find any problems and you are in the low-income bracket, they will even fix the wiring for free or for reduced charges.

If I were in your shoes, I would tell that executor to go soak his head.
 
Gaer said:
You own the house. Give the executor no thought.
I'm around your age and healthy too. When my husband died, everyone was pushing me to move to another state. "When are you moving? Where are you moving?" They were grabbing his tools and guns to buy or steal!
"Hey folks! I'm still here!"
They thought as soon as he died, my life was OVER!
These guys are right!
Don't make any decisions for a few years!
Have an electrician check the place out.
Make NO decisions out of FEAR!
Does the executor have a legal right to kick you out of your home? Find out!
Why are you considering a retirement home if you're still young and healthy? ,
Tell the executor to "Take a hike!"
Click to expand...
He was my brothers former boss and good friend he says he wants to help me but he wants to tear down the house because it has a lot wrong with it. I do not get much social security.
 
He should not make that decision, and no one should pressure or hurry you to make any, Tara.
Tell him you want to take your time, to think about it.
Keep repeating that to him, if necessary.

Or tell him no, not now.
And then, get someone else, to look and tell you what repairs would be needed, to keep you safe,
until you have time to make a better, more long-term decision.

I wonder why neither he nor your brother, when your brother was there, thought the house was not safe enough to fix up, for a while longer. What is the rush now, that your brother did not feel rushed about, and his "friend" did not rush him into it?

Now that it's just you, the "friend" is pressuring you and frightening you.
I would find out what repairs it needs.
Tell him you will not decide to sell so quickly.
 
Tara said:
He was my brothers former boss and good friend he says he wants to help me but he wants to tear down the house because it has a lot wrong with it. I do not get much social security.
Click to expand...

He can not tear down the house without your permission unless he's the owner.
I'm curious how he would benefit if the house was torn down, and why he wants you to move out.
It sure seems to me that he is not looking out for you, but rather for his own benefit - and contrary to yours.

As long as you are the owner, you can do what you want with the property.
Maybe you need to find out more of what your rights are, from elsewhere, and in what ways that he's overstepping.
 


Back
Top