Changing directions.... living at the end of life's road

[Pete]

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….with the frigid wind howling outside my cabin window drifting the fresh snow to feet instead of inches, I am so glad after almost twenty years living out here on the edge of Alaska's wilderness that I had acquired over the decades hundreds of books to read, enjoy and learn from. Many was the winter evening I sat by the stove wrapped in an old army blanket so absorbed in a book I little noticed the storm raging just outside my walls. Now living here in Texas it seems the only time I pick up a book is when I spend time in the bathroom.



Accepting the inevitability that my body can no longer handle the rigors of life in the wilderness or for that matter everyday dry-cabin life akin to my daughters situation just outside of Fairbanks Alaska I am, metaphorically, being dragged kicking and screaming into the life of a senior citizen living in the heart of civilization. A new chapter in my life's story is unfolding in front of me and though for 49 years I did live in civilization to be faced with the reality that this is where I will spend the rest of my life is still daunting.


Also after living for so long alone I will have to resurrect those old interpersonal traits of civility when at times I don't harbor any good feelings may be a problem. During those years in the woods there was no one to notice when I awoke dragging my knuckles on the floor and growling at anything that moved, now I can't even open the front door and let off a few 'stress relieving' rounds without ending up in jail. The walks by the rivers and streams I once enjoyed in blissful solitude will now be shared on the banks of the lake that surrounds my apartment with hundreds of strangers all looking out for themselves.

Close friends now slowly fading with distance and time


The few close friendships that were forged over years, in Alaska, are now gone or at the very least relegated to email and phone calls. Missing is the nights with one friend and mornings with another spent in give and take discussing the length and breath of our lives and anything that touched them. A spiritually satisfying night in semi darkness discussing God or our deceased loved ones will never happen again and all I can do is think back and hope those talks were not a dream.
​

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So I invite you to journey with me

on this new path for my blog
where

politics and stupidity

take a back seat
to my writing about
the remaining journey

to the

end of the road.


WouldI have left if I knew I would never return?
​

 

[Aunt Bea]

Looking forward to your new adventures, Pete!

 

[Ruth n Jersey]

Pete, most of my friends are gone also , I wish you well as you begin this new chapter of your life. One thing you will always have are your memories.

 

[hollydolly]

It's gonna be hard I won't churn out any platitudes about that... but all you can do Pete is do the best you can, knowing that for your health's sake you just have to.. and make friends where you can around you... I wish you luck, and of course you always have us here for a little bit of company, not the same I know but whaddya gonna do?.. you gotta take it where you find it... Take care..try not to get too despondent..

 

[Gary O']

Heh, those blue tarps...blankets of the north

Time enough to write that book whilst it's still in yer haid...ol' man

(can't wait to buy it, as I thoroughly enjoyed this intro)

 

[Ruthanne]

Hi Pete,
I hope to be with you on the last leg of your journey and mine most likely, too. I am so tired of having so many strangers trying to get in my personal business where I live. I have withdrawn and ignore most of them unless they leave me alone and when I do see them speak to me decently. I would love to be in a little cabin somewhere, sorry you have had to leave. I live where there are about 50 other apt. buildings in the immediate area. People sometimes get strangely quiet here. It is odd. I actually liked it when I heard a man and woman arguing outside the other day. It was REAL. Am I nuts?

 

[Pete]

blue tarps...blankets of the north and the universal problem solver in Alaska Duck-tape!

Yeah a number of years ago soon after I started writing my blog on WordPress my readers would comment that I should bundle up all my Alaskan tales in an E book. But after I read some of the other Alaskan writers I know I am not in the same league.

 

[Pete]

It was REAL. Am I nuts?

No not nuts but like myself you are more aware of what is happening in your surroundings.
As I enter this part of my life's road I am for the most part angry... angry that I can no longer
do the things I love where I loved to do them, but I have faced the fact that this inability
is just another 'twist' in the road of life that we all must face and find a way to make peace with it.