C'mon, fess up. Food disasters of your own making.

Bretrick

Bretrick

Well-known Member
Location
Perth Western Australia
Year, 1991, Esperance Western Australia.
Neighbours were going out for a few hours and I said I would make a Lemon Cheesecake for their return just because I could.
Setting out making the Cheesecake, supping on some beer stubbies.
Time to add the lemon juice. Drinking had affected my sense of taste, so I kept adding lemon juice until I could taste it in the mixture. All ingredients into a springform pan.
Refrigerated for a few hours. Neighbours returned.
Time for Cheesecake and whipped cream.
Removing the springform pan, the cheesecake flowed copiously over the table.
I added so much lemon juice that there was no way it was going to set đź« 
 

Furryanimal said:
Exploding eggs in the microwave would be the worst….it’s messy!
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yes I've done that too....

Can't say I've ever had any real food disasters... but I remember my mum once baked a chicken..(she'd never cooked a chicken before).. and didn't know she had to take the bag of giblets out first.. *ugh*
 

Well, it wasn't exactly food. I wanted some espresso, so I filled the bottom of the pot with water, screwed on the top section, filled it with coffee, closed the lid, and then turned on the burner. It was perking away, and when I thought it was about done, I lifted the lid to check. That's when the disaster happened.

I'd forgotten to place the rubber gasket between the top and bottom parts of the pot, so when I opened the lid, the coffee and grounds shot out of the center spout like a geyser and hit everything in sight. Coffee and coffee grounds on my face, in my hair, clothes, stove, counter, floor, and even the ceiling. I was a sight, and my kitchen was a mess.

That evening, after I wore out every curse word I knew, I made up new ones. 🥴
 
Bella said:
Well, it wasn't exactly food. I wanted some espresso, so I filled the bottom of the pot with water, screwed on the top section, filled it with coffee, closed the lid, and then turned on the burner. It was perking away, and when I thought it was about done, I lifted the lid to check. That's when the disaster happened.

I'd forgotten to place the rubber gasket between the top and bottom parts of the pot, so when I opened the lid, the coffee and grounds shot out of the center spout like a geyser and hit everything in sight. Coffee and coffee grounds on my face, in my hair, clothes, stove, counter, floor, and even the ceiling. I was a sight, and my kitchen was a mess.

That evening, after I wore out every curse word I knew, I made up new ones. 🥴
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Hopefully you were not burned. :coffee:
 
1983 - Newly married and worked third shift. I thought I'd surprise my wife and make dinner. I got out a large pan and started opening cans. A little of this and a can of that. Tasted it and it was terrible, it must need something else - so I opened more can goods and dumped them in the pot. Tasted it again and it was just as bad - if not worse, although I told myself it was getting better.

When my wife came home, she had a good laugh, but was a little dismayed that I nearly cleaned out our pantry of canned goods.
 
My daughter in law is from the Czech Republic, and I wanted to do something for her for Christmas. I asked my son for her recipe for Christmas bread, which is a braided bread like Challah.
I got the recipe, but it was in Czech and metric. Here is what I had to do:
Translate recipe to English
Change metric units to English units
Convert weights in ounces to volumes in cups
Did all that and put in the oven. When I took it out of the oven, instead of a braided bread, it looked like a large Milk bone biscuit.
 
Furryanimal said:
Exploding eggs in the microwave would be the worst….it’s messy!
Click to expand...
Try exploding chicken livers. Who knew they'd explode in the microwave?

Also: using self-rising flour in a cake and still adding baking powder. The cake rose up in a huge "dome", cascaded over the sides of the pan into the oven and then fell flat as a pancake in the middle. It was the first cake I made as a newly-wed and I was devastated.
 
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder: And, so is taste.

I was a bachelor all my life and cooked my own fare. My recipe for chili is rather unusual. Everything is normal except for one important ingredient. Instead of two cans of tomato sauce I substitute one with an undiluted can of tomato soup. I love it. Living with mom and caring for her for the past 14 years I tried my 'bachelor chili' on her. A big yuck grimace on her face told me it was a disaster. Thereafter, I only used her recipe. (The experience made me completely shy of using any of my own recipes again.) I guess bachelor cooking means that only the cook likes it.
 
My late husband always made a clam dip for Thanksgiving and Christmas for the "kids" when they came over. It was a special request from them every year.

The recipe is simple: a can of minced clams (in juice), an 8 oz. block of softened cream cheese, Mayo (not Miracle Whip), lemon juice, garlic powder and onion powder, salt and pepper, and a splash of Worcestershire sauce. Use a stand up mixer and whip it all together.

I had a new bottle of Worcestershire sauce and when he unsealed the top, he didn't see that it had a flip up top so he unscrewed the cap and poured a ton of Worcestershire sauce before it dawned on him. It was ruined. We laughed about it and he started over.
 
Might have been 1992, my final year in Esperance.
My neighbour suggested I cook a meal for her family.
Husband was away, long distance truck driver, away for 10 days at a time.
Wife at home with 3 children, boys aged 5 - 10.
I decided to cook Beef Stroganoff. I had eaten it several times and found it to be quite delicious.
Gather all the ingredients.
Good quality Beef Tenderloins. Cubed, floured.
Recipe said to quickly sear the beef in batches and remove from pan.
What did I do? Threw the whole 400 grams of cubed and floured beef into the sizzling frypan and overcooked it to the max.
Doing the lot together the beef became a gluggy mess.
Still I dished it up. The 10 years old said, "I'm not eating this crap". The 7 year old asked if he could make a peanut butter sandwich. The wife and I attempted to eat it but gave up in the end and grabbed a beer from the fridge.
 

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