Dating After 50

Ruthanne

Well-known member
Location
USA
I was chatting with a man at a dating site and I guess I took too long, in his opinion, to try to get to know him. He quit chatting with me. I find many of the guys who contact me want to go off the site right away. The site warns not to do go off the site with the person too quickly.

So, now I am chatting with 3 other guys there trying to get to know them and decide if I want to meet any of them.

I want to meet someone but am not desperate and do okay on my own, too.

Is anyone else dating or trying to date at this age?
 

GeorgiaXplant

Well-known member
Location
Georgia
Pfffft. Dating schmating. I thought about it about a year after my DH died, got on a couple of sites, and changed my mind in a real big hurry. My biggest objection? Their profiles indicated that they were needy and desperate...mostly for either a nurse with a purse or for somebody to wash and iron and cook and clean and polish everything to a high sheen. Thanks, but no! I've learned to live alone and really don't want to spend a lot of time with all that getting-to-know-you stuff, not to mention that ALL of them went on and on about how much time they spend with their grandchildren and adult children. Want my company? When do you think you'll have the time?
 

RadishRose

Well-known member
Location
Connecticut USA
I was chatting with a man at a dating site and I guess I took too long, in his opinion, to try to get to know him. He quit chatting with me. I find many of the guys who contact me want to go off the site right away. The site warns not to do go off the site with the person too quickly.

So, now I am chatting with 3 other guys there trying to get to know them and decide if I want to meet any of them.

I want to meet someone but am not desperate and do okay on my own, too.


Is anyone else dating or trying to date at this age?
No way. I've heard so much about these men on dating sites. They just want someone to go to bed with. That's all.
 

GeorgiaXplant

Well-known member
Location
Georgia
Further to my comment about his adult children and his grandchildren...would he expect that I'd drop everything to join him (and them)? And what about my family? Would they count and when would there be time for them? See what I mean? One of the men who responded to my profile back then was 15 years older (I was 69 at the time), wheelchair bound and was "willing to pay for gas" for me to drive 75 miles to visit him, take him shopping, take him to visit his kids. Nah. I wasn't unsympathetic to his plight, but geez, what he needed was a caregiver, not a GF!
 

Olivia

Well-known member
Location
Hawaii
Ruth, don't get discouraged by some of these women here who have given up. I can tell you that not only is there love after 50, but also after seventy. Of course those here who have given responses of some sort tells me that their marriages weren't so great or are not that sweet anymore. Or maybe they just don't care for sex anymore.

C'est la vie. Go by what you want and not what old women tell you. From what I recall, you are not even 60 or a little past i t. I just had to say this because of all the other negativity posted in this thread.

Ruth, go for it!
 
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Ruthanne

Well-known member
Location
USA
Original Poster
Ruth, don't get discouraged by some of these women here who have given up. I can tell you that not only is there love after 50, but also after seventy. Of course those here who have given responses of some sort tells me that their marriages weren't so great or are not that sweet anymore. Or maybe they just don't care for sex anymore.

C'est la vie. Go by what you want and not what old women tell you. From what I recall, you are not even 60 or a little past i t. I just had to say this because of all the other negativity posted in this thread.

Ruth, go for it!
Thank you Olivia for shining a positive light on it.
 

GeorgiaXplant

Well-known member
Location
Georgia
1. a little levity never hurt anyone
2. a little caution never hurt anyone
3. relating my own experience long before I was an "old lady" never hurt anyone, and
4. don't cast aspersions on what you *think* my marriage was like.

OK?
 

Olivia

Well-known member
Location
Hawaii
1. a little levity never hurt anyone
2. a little caution never hurt anyone
3. relating my own experience long before I was an "old lady" never hurt anyone, and
4. don't cast aspersions on what you *think* my marriage was like.

OK?
How about not discouraging other women because looking back you don't ever want to do it again. I only posted the opinions that I read. No one stopped you from talking about the loving side.
 

Lakeland living

Retired in cottage country and loving it.
Location
Ontario Canada
I have spent time on a couple of dating sites, it isn't just the men you need to be careful with believe me. I take my time and be who I am, most players go away. Yes I found several ladies and dated each for a while. But no spark, there are some nice people out there. The trick is to find them, most are being very careful, I know I am.
 

Victor

Active member
Location
midwest USA
A common misperception is that men merely want sex, or later on, someone to keep house
for them or "a nurse with a purse". Well, plenty of guys, including me, do NOT
want that. We are not all out to take advantage of you. In fact, I am concerned
that they would take advantage of me.
Ladies want someone to take them to dinner, be a
gentleman and ask for nothing in return, except conversation, and many senior men will
oblige and do this. That's not my POV.
Just because someone wants to date a nurse, for example, should not imply it is
for health reasons, to take care of him. I got hit on another forum once for that.
To the OP, caveat emptor --online dating is very illusory.
 

Kimwhiz

Active member
The only experience I’ve heard is from my son. He is so discouraged because the girls show up on a date and looking nothing like their picture. They doctor the picture and make him believe he is talking to a whole different person. That frustrates him because it’s being dishonest from the start. He’s not looking for sex. He said he won’t unless he feels close to that person emotionally. I’m sure there are people wanting a companion but it’s hard to trust in my opinion. I wish you all the luck in the world. I wouldn't want to be alone at this time in my life if anything happened to my husband. I’m not the alone type.
 
No way. I've heard so much about these men on dating sites. They just want someone to go to bed with. That's all.
That's funny. I have two sisters in the 60 age range. In their experience, the 'going to bed' thing was very small. What they encountered were men looking for someone who they thought was reasonbly well off. Both sisters had white collar jobs and guys assumed they must be well off (they are reasonably well off, but certainly not wealthy). They would even have guys asking for money by the 2nd date (that ended that!).
 

applecruncher

Well-known member
Location
Ohio USA
I know of several couples who initially connected via online dating sites (or elsewhere online), and are now happily married.

Be careful, get to know the person, listen to your gut. Meet first for coffee at a public place. Provide your own transportation or uber or whatever. Never allow the person into your home until you know them well.

But...I also know of some not-so-great connections, and a couple of disasters. If the other person asks or even hints for money or some investment opportunity, RUN. :mad: Don't give excuses, just say NO, run and cease all contact with that person.

People who are only looking for friendship or a pen pal shouldn't be on a dating site, imo.
 

treeguy64

Hari Om, y'all!
Location
Austin, TX.
Janet and I met online. She drove down to see me, spent the weekend, moved in three weeks later. That was over fourteen years ago. We separated for a few weeks, over a year ago. I got back online, went out with seven women in ten days, had four of them over for dinner, not all together, :devilish:, and quickly realized that people on online dating are very different than they used to be: Everyone is very suspicious, everyone goes on and on about how they don't care if they ever settle down with anyone as they don't really need anyone, they're quite happy on their own. OK, why did they get together with me? Anyway, realized my mistake, got back with Janet, muy rapido. I would not want to be on online dating, again! Bah humbug, I say!
 

Happyflowerlady

Vagabond Flowerchild
Location
Northern Alabama
I agree that a person needs to be careful with online dating (or any other kind, probably), and take time before you meet someone to get to know them well enough with writing, to think that you might enjoy being with them in person.
I belonged to a Christian website, and met my husband there almost 17 years ago. Neither one of us were really trying to find someone to marry, we just wanted someone to talk with and share our day to day lives with online emails.

He lived at one end of the country, and I lived on the other end, in North Idaho, (3 hour time difference) so I had to get up really early to “visit” with Bobby on Yahoo chat in the mornings, and I worked until late and then had to feed the horses and milk the goat before I was back inside the house, so he had to stay up late at night to visit with me then.
He was the director of a small Men’s Rescue Mission and couldn’t get away, so when I had a chance to go out and see him, I flew out to meet Bobby, and ended up staying, helping him with the homeless ministry, and then we got married.
I was in my late 50’s when we first started corresponding with each other, and I had talked with his pastor before I ever went out to North Carolina to meet him in person.
He is the best husband a person could ever have, and marrying Bobby was one of the best decisions I ever made.
So, I think that meeting someone online can work out, but you have to be careful and be sure that you know the person , and spend time writing with each other first.
If someone doesn’t want to take the time for long, earnest conversations with you online, then they probably are not going to be very good conversationalists after you meet them, either.
So, if communication is important , then be sure to find someone else who wants to communicate, too.
 

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