Dating at 60 -- Thoughts?? Finding it to be not an easy thing!

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Robinp

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Seattle
Hi there. I am beginning to date again after being widowed for 3 years. Quite an experience. Any other thoughts to share on this subject? I welcome them!
 

Hi Robin. I am widowed too and will be 60 in 2017. I've joined a site called Plentyoffish.com or POF.com I believe. It's a free site and has people of all ages. I have found this experience difficult to do online. But I continue to write to guys on POF. I usually wait for them to contact me. I have had lots of replies but haven't been interested in too many. Some live too far away for one thing. Do you have any questions about it?
 

I can't imagine being thrown into a first date situation with an almost total stranger and having it work out very well, but that's just me I guess. I remember a few blind dates my girlfriend set up for me. Those did not turn out well, and the guy was already what you might call vetted. They were probably really nice guys looking back. It was just too awkward for both of us.

It seems to me the best situation is to hang out with someone in a group first. Like on the TV show Friends.
 
Not that I'd even try to find a new love interest if something would happen to mama but I wasn't all that good with the whole dating thing when in my teens and twenties.......I bet I'd really suck at it now that I'm in my mid 60's.
 
As we get older, things do get more complicated. I guess it may depend upon what you are looking for--companionship, a serious relationship, or possible marriage? Knowing yourself, and maybe even what you're NOT looking for may be helpful. Being a widow, it would probably be best to look for someone with a similar background if possible. Hope you find what you're looking for and best of luck.
 
Butterfly said:
I'm happy enough alone and have no interest in getting back into the hassle of a relationship. I like having only myself to please and pick up after.
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This is similar to my attitude these days. I'm not adverse to dating should the situation occur but it would probably be with someone I met in a social or group setting. I have come to the conclusion that since I have lived alone for so many years now that most women would find me difficult and set in my own ways. That's not necessarily the truth but I think I would get along best with someone who has had a similar living situation as mine.
 
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If you decide to try online dating sites be very discerning, especially with the "free" ones like Plenty of Fish (PoF). There are a significant amount of con artists using the sites. They download pictures of someone from the internet. Often signs of their fake identity is obvious, very poor use of English grammar (misspelled or missing words, incorrect use of plurals, pronouns, etc.). They tend to say things like how much you share in common, and how "stunning" you are. (I've seen that one a LOT). They'll prey on your sympathies (reassigned to a new city for work and being lonely, recently widowed, etc.).

The point is BE CAREFUL. If something doesn't "feel right", it likely isn't.

That said, I've met some very nice guys via online dating and am on PoF. No romantic keepers (yet), but have established some real friendships.

I think others have eluded to the fact that flying solo isn't all that bad either. My observation (in myself and others) is that it's important to find happiness as a single first. Don't look to dating to fill any voids. And remember there's a whole lotta love out there to be had and it comes in many flavors (friends, family, grandkids <one of my personal favorites>)!

Keep your head on straight, your heart open and best of luck!
 
Whether "online" or in RL(real life) I find "dating" venues to be highly suspect, with people "looking" for a partner.

People wanting something from you,

I don't know, I have less to give, and am less willing to give away what I have,(time, emotional energy, assets), these days.
 
I started on-line dating again when I was 60 and one of the first messages I received was from a scammer, in this case, looking for a green card I think. It was all about how he had "fallen in love" with my picture and wanted to get married and have a baby right away. Uhhh, did you notice the "60" in my profile?

It took some slogging through the frogs until I met my prince. Seven years later, we're still going strong.
 
Try not thinking of it as a "date" - "first" or otherwise. Think of it as two nice people enjoying something together. The key is finding common interests - outside of "self".
 
60 - Spring chicken. Go for it. I was recently widowed and at age 80 - forget it. My single friends in their late 60's said most of the men they dated through friends or dating services only want a woman to take care of them. That sounded discouraging (my daughter is divorced with a 13 yo daughter. She is 56) She has a dinner date next Sat with a 62 yo widower. Will let you know how that works.
 
I'm too old to worry about dating. Even if I was younger the memory of being a care giver for someone with advanced metastatic cancer, would probably discourage me. When my husband's cancer returned a little over two years ago, our doctor told us that sometimes the care givers give out before the patient. I think being able to go where I want, when I want, will satisfy me.
 
I was lucky enough to find somebody I'm very happy with now we've been living together for awhile and neither of us are interested in marriage at our age. I wasn't looking for romance and somebody to date but I met a really nice guy and was friends only for a long time we had a lot of things in common and eventually things got serious and it felt just right. I would never use any online dating sites to look for a boyfriend I don't trust them have heard too many horror stories about the creeps that frequent those sites.

I never even wanted to go on a blind date I like to know someone first before I go out with them anywhere that's why I like to see them in the flesh and get to know them, sometimes a bad vibe will send me heading for the door. The older I get the smarter I get about men maybe when I'm 100 I'll be all knowing :eek:
 
I've been with my husband for over forty years and if he ever passed on before me, I don't think I'd be interested at all in dating again. If I was, it wouldn't be finding someone on the internet, I'd have to meet someone in person and really click with them to even join them in dinner and a movie. Manatee, I think you're up for the task! :lol:
 
My last blind date led to a 30 year marriage which ended nine years ago. Even though I'm a fulltime carer to my adult son I'm still enjoying my freedom to make my own decisions. If Robert Redford knocks on the door I'll let him in but otherwise I'm happy as I am. I know you should never say never but I think my dating days are over........I'm 62.
 
I'm looking for a nurse with a purse. Otherwise, Emmanuel Chriqui would do...
 

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