Dating Safely Online

JonSR77

JonSR77

Senior Member
Dating Safely Online - 2 Links

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from AARP


Dating Safety in Age of Technology​

Ready to start looking for love online? Keep your eyes wide open​

by Laura Petrecca, AARP, March 22, 2019

https://www.aarp.org/home-family/dating/info-2019/online-dating-safety.html

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Online Dating and Dating App Safety Tips

From RAINN

https://www.rainn.org/articles/online-dating-and-dating-app-safety-tips

The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is an American nonprofit anti-sexual assault organization, the largest in the United States.RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline, as well as the Department of Defense (DoD) Safe Helpline, and carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help survivors, and ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice through victim services, public education, public policy, and consulting services.
 

Marie5656 said:
No way in these times would I even consider dating online. But of course, I have no interest in dating any longer
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I am with Marie. I really can't see how dating an anonymous identity is safe.

Yet, I do know people who have found nice relationships from online dating,

but...well, I guess the deal is that you have to find a way to confirm the other person's real world identity, before the relationship goes anywhere and certainly before you meet in person.

I mean, I know a Private Investigator could absolutely do that if you wanted to spend a little money. I am sure they could do it for less than $500...but I don't know how much less.
 

Here's another article from PC World

Don’t get ‘catfished:’ Tips for vetting a stranger’s online identity​


https://www.pcworld.com/article/447...-for-vetting-a-strangers-online-identity.html

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But personally, I don't think that is enough.

I think you have to interact with them enough to get some information, which you can verify in the real world.

For example, my wife works for a major university. If someone says he is a professor at a university...you can call the university and see if the person approaching you is real. And I don't just mean seeing the person's name in print. Connect with them through the university's switchboard...and make sure that name is the actual person you have been communicating with.

And if you can't confirm things that directly? I say...just stay away.

Meet someone online who says he is religious. Call his pastor, confirm his identity, tell the pastor the issue and ask him to confirm that you are not talking to a scammer of some kind.

Without that kind of direct information? You could be talking to anyone, including a professional and dangerous con man...
 
My experience with online dating is that I have none. I know a couple of people who've had success with it. Good for them, they're braver than I am! Especially in the time of Covid, I understand how hard it's become to meet people in “real life,” but the thought of putting myself out there in a public meat market is so unappealing. I feel too vulnerable and don't want to deal with all the deception that I've read about. Sure, I'd like to meet someone I have things in common with, but I just can't bring myself to do it online.

Bella ✌️
 
Never used online dating or dating organizations though understand why they are popular with younger adult segments of our culture. Just conjures up a lot of foulness. Reflected by the kind of media ads they use. Usually targeting the myriad lonely men in our world by showing ad pictures of some attractive woman supposedly within their organization. How obviously baited like willing dullards.

But then there are large numbers of people of both sexes that even when young are rather physically plain to unattractive. What are they supposed to do? Welcome to modern 21st century times when given world wide transportation and migration, people across the planet from A to Z from European royal elites to third world dirt subsistence natives are suddenly mixing in competition with everyone else while media constantly bombards us with attractive bodies and celebrities.
 
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I’ve used online dating a few times.

I tend to be a bit of an introvert, so it seemed like a good option. I had a 50 mile limit and have never had any problems with anyone. I dated the last for a couple of years.

You do have to keep your wits about you. Don’t jump into anything. If they seem too good to be true, they’re probably a scammer.

People also lie sometimes.

I was in my early 40s. According to his profile he was 52 years old, 5’8” with an athletic build.

He was a nice guy, but he was my height, 5’, very skinny and had to be at least in his late 60s.

Needless to say, that didn’t work out.
 
For many people this is the reality: A man sits in a bar and keeps scrolling through his "tinder" account looking for the "right" woman. Mean while, sitting next to him in the bar is this beautiful, single woman wishing someone would talk to her. Unfortunately too many people are looking for the fantasy rather than the reality.
 
Seems so much safer to me to just get out and circulate. SR centers, church activities, take classes, go to a gym,crafts, volunteer and fund raising projects, politics if so inclined. Meet and observe whole people in real life, see what others think of them.
I would just never feel safe going out to meet someone I only know through internet posts and pictures.
 
A bar is not a good place to find a mate.

A woman walked into a bar in Austin & saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table.
He had the biggest feet she'd ever seen.
She asked the cowboy if it was true what they say about men with big feet.
The cowboy grinned & said, "Why sure, little lady! Why don't ya come on out to the bunk house & let me prove it to ya?"
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him a $100.00 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well thank ya, ma'am.....I'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."
The woman replied, "Take the money & buy yourself some boots that fit."
 
JonSR77 said:
I am with Marie. I really can't see how dating an anonymous identity is safe.

Yet, I do know people who have found nice relationships from online dating,

but...well, I guess the deal is that you have to find a way to confirm the other person's real world identity, before the relationship goes anywhere and certainly before you meet in person.

I mean, I know a Private Investigator could absolutely do that if you wanted to spend a little money. I am sure they could do it for less than $500...but I don't know how much less.
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Actually there are background check websites that are more reasonably priced. But there's a lot you can verify and check out yourself.

Like @Marie5656 i'm not interested in dating anymore. I'm happy simply havng cyberfriends. However, i really don't think.online dating any more risky than 3D world dating, as long as you don't disengage your brain.

And don't forget you can do some checking of that 'nice' person you met at church, the senior center or while volunteering somewhere using the internt. All you need is a first and last name, and some idea of where they have lived. Sometimes it can lead you there online activity on various sites.

If they give you specific info about working at any large business, institution of higher learning or medical facility and you're comfortable telling a white lie you can call ask for HR and say you're trying to verify current (or former if they say they are retired) employment. You'd be surprised the info that can be turned up just with the name, especially if not very common.

While there are legal limits -- they can't volunteer job titles or salary-- but they can confirm or deny any info you have. Most won't even ask where you are calling from, but you'll be more believable if you start by saying "I'm (fake name) from (fake company--or less traceable say you're verifying as part of credit check because they are going to rent a property from you directly). Similar ruses can usually be used to confirm education, degrees they claim to have.
 
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fuzzybuddy said:
I'm 32. 6'2" ,180. I work out in the gym three times/week. Own 4 businesses, 28-acre sea side estate, with horse stables, 6 vehicles, private plane & runway. Looking for one to love, and I never lie. Please forward pic and bank acct. numbers.
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And some those catfishers, male and female will actually lift photos of other people to support their claims of being fit. That way they don't have to sound bragdocious about looks, just grab a photo of someone attractive.
 
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Hahaha..
This reminds me of a time way back 1999 when I met up with a 'gentleman' from a forum for a coffee and chat in person in a local mall.
I was living in London, Ontario at that time, a very nice place to live. We had chats on and off in different posts and I thought he seemed rather interesting.
So we met, ordered coffee in usual food court area in malls, sat down, chatted about the forum for a few minutes and then he said.....
......okay , which motel would you like to go to......o_O
I din't even answer....just got up and hastily made my retreat
I never saw any more posts by him after that.
 
leigh91657 said:
I was in my early 40s. According to his profile he was 52 years old, 5’8” with an athletic build.

He was a nice guy, but he was my height, 5’, very skinny and had to be at least in his late 60s.

Needless to say, that didn’t work out.
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Because he was short, skinny, and old?

Or because he lied to you?
 

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