Murrmurr
SF VIP
- Location
- Sacramento, California
Several other names came to mind first, but I’ll call Collin’s mom Tara. (Collin is also a made up name bc I'm prohibited from using his real name and posting pictures). So I was waiting at my back door when Tara dropped Collin off this morning, like she asked me to do, and when she got him out of her car I heard her tell him “Now, go to uncle Frank and no crying! You’re a big boy now. You don’t cry.” Good lord, the strain in his little face as he walked over to me; tension in his eyes and his brow, his lips clenched, his chin quivering; he was working so hard at not crying. And when he got up to me he looked up and said “Collin big boy” through a shaky smile. It was gut-wrenching.
For this to work – for the visits to continue – I have to be nice to Tara, but Collin was on the verge of busting loose with the water works so I scooped him up real quick, shouted thanks at his mom and took him inside. We hugged for a long time and of course I let him cry. Of course I did. What Tara apparently doesn’t understand, besides the fact that he’s a little boy, is that if he’s allowed to cry it out, eventually he’ll be able to let it go, but if he’s forced to hold it in, he might hold it in forever. And maybe some day that will bust loose too, and maybe it won't be pretty.
Anyway, we had a great first day. He ate well. And I get why Tara doesn’t want Collin to keep calling me daddy but whenever he “slipped up” I didn’t make a thing of it, we just moved on. We played and colored and went for a walk, pretty much our usual stuff, and he was in a great mood. We had fun, but also we just relaxed and talked. He told me he doesn’t want to go home. I told him mom was going to pick him up on Monday and he cried.
We were doing potty training when he left, but he’s in diapers. He had diaper rash...not real severe but it looked uncomfortable. I put some Desitin on it and it already looked soothed by bed time. When we brushed our teeth he seemed out of practice. He cried at bath time and refused to sit in the tub. Collin wasn’t circumcised so I'm guessing maybe Tara thinks you have to pull back his foreskin to wash that area. You don’t. And on a little guy his age, you shouldn’t. I’ll talk to her about that. I took pictures of three scratches on the back of his neck and a bunch of smaller ones around his nose and one on his lip, and of a pretty ugly ½” slash, either a cut or maybe a burn on his ankle that looks about 3 days old and a little infected. I washed it up good and put some first-aid cream and a bandage on it. He scarfed down his usual nighty-night bowl of oatmeal (usual when he's here) and went to bed happy tonight.
(If this post sounds calm, just know there was a first draft. And a second.)
For this to work – for the visits to continue – I have to be nice to Tara, but Collin was on the verge of busting loose with the water works so I scooped him up real quick, shouted thanks at his mom and took him inside. We hugged for a long time and of course I let him cry. Of course I did. What Tara apparently doesn’t understand, besides the fact that he’s a little boy, is that if he’s allowed to cry it out, eventually he’ll be able to let it go, but if he’s forced to hold it in, he might hold it in forever. And maybe some day that will bust loose too, and maybe it won't be pretty.
Anyway, we had a great first day. He ate well. And I get why Tara doesn’t want Collin to keep calling me daddy but whenever he “slipped up” I didn’t make a thing of it, we just moved on. We played and colored and went for a walk, pretty much our usual stuff, and he was in a great mood. We had fun, but also we just relaxed and talked. He told me he doesn’t want to go home. I told him mom was going to pick him up on Monday and he cried.
We were doing potty training when he left, but he’s in diapers. He had diaper rash...not real severe but it looked uncomfortable. I put some Desitin on it and it already looked soothed by bed time. When we brushed our teeth he seemed out of practice. He cried at bath time and refused to sit in the tub. Collin wasn’t circumcised so I'm guessing maybe Tara thinks you have to pull back his foreskin to wash that area. You don’t. And on a little guy his age, you shouldn’t. I’ll talk to her about that. I took pictures of three scratches on the back of his neck and a bunch of smaller ones around his nose and one on his lip, and of a pretty ugly ½” slash, either a cut or maybe a burn on his ankle that looks about 3 days old and a little infected. I washed it up good and put some first-aid cream and a bandage on it. He scarfed down his usual nighty-night bowl of oatmeal (usual when he's here) and went to bed happy tonight.
(If this post sounds calm, just know there was a first draft. And a second.)
