We used to have a restaurant here in Orlando that was world-famous for its rules. Those rules put the Soup Nazi to shame. The local weekly "alternative" newspaper would have a "Best-Of" edition yearly. This restaurant would win the "Restaurant with the Most Byzantine Rules" and they'd state that without this restaurant there would be no need for the category.
One of the rules was that you weren't allowed to cut the sandwiches. Not only would they refuse to cut them in two, if you got caught cutting one, you were told to take it home and do it there. They wouldn't even give you a knife if they suspected that's what you wanted it for.
An article in the paper reported that a woman, who was on her way to the hospital to visit her husband who was recovering from a stroke, stopped by to pick up one of his favorite sandwiches. She begged them to cut the sandwich because her husband wouldn't be able to hold the whole thing, but they refused. Rules are rules. She begged some more. She asked for a plastic knife. Nope. They told her that it would be best if she didn't come in again.
They had wonderful bread baskets, but it took an act of congress to get butter. You were given two small pats of butter to start with and you couldn't have any more until those were gone. Then you had to call the waitress over and you could have ONE pat at a time.
That restaurant was there for at least 25 years, maybe more. People packed it because the food was New York deli fantastic and, I suspect, people got a big kick about being treated like that.....I guess it was "performance art". Everyone in town had a favorite story to tell. Mine was the time I got charged a "sharing" charge because my 6-month-old niece was licking my spoon. I refused to pay it and told them to call the police if they wanted. I was told to never come back again. I came back.....I liked the food.
The restaurant is long gone; they tore the mall down it was in. But, older residents still chuckle about their experiences there.
So, Bret, you wouldn't have been able to cut your sandwich there, either....