dementia

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wcwbf

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almost 2 weeks ago, i get call from my sil. my brother (68 yo) is in the hospital. he's VERY large (fat) and has a growing list of ailments to go along with that dangerous weight. copd, diabetes, etc.

he's not much into talking and seems has been successfully hiding onset of dementia. he had a bad fall and was unable to get up. my sil is very frail and couldn't help. their son called 911 and it was an ordeal getting him out of the house. he ended up in the hospital. has some kind of skin infection on his legs. they kept him overnight. it has been all downhill since then.

my sil has had 2 brain surgeries over the years for cancer. has had memory issues for quite some time now. BUT seems my brother has a much more fragile grasp on reality than any of us suspected. my poor nephew is an only child. if it weren't for covid, i could at least go spend time with my sil while my nephew tries to figure out what to do.
 

This is a very difficult situation. They can't care for themselves fully. It seems dangerous for them to remain alone. Then, even if they can get someone in to treat his skin infections or whatever, they risk bringing Covid into the house.

I hope for the best
 
Lee said:
A bad situation to be sure. I assume your nephew is of an adult age and able to make decisions? Guidance from you would be a tremendous weight lifted from his shoulders. Keep us posted, we are here to listen.
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nephew is about 35 and is pretty much living with his parents... or at least his mom who is still at home but can't do stairs.
 
This is very bad. It does seem like your brother & SIL need to be in a place that can provide full time care. What a time for that when Assisted Living homes are rife with Covid potential. Thinking about them and you too.
 
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So sorry to hear this, wcwbf; my heart goes out to you and all involved. This is something I worry about coming some day (which comes closer & closer with each passing day) with Huzz and me, only we've never had any kids. (Got some nieces and nephews but they've got their parents to help and deal with.)

Just shows ya: don't become old and/or less-than-healthy, espec. if you don't have kids or other family who can help.
 
My brother in law died of Alzheimer's (which is a form of dementia) this morning. He was diagnosed with it around 5 years ago and to watch him get worse was tough. My sister did the best she could but finally placed him in a Mental Care facility about a month ago. On Thursday she got a call telling her that she should go visit him and then he passed this morning. My dad has dementia (but not Alzheimer's) and that is even tougher for me . My heart goes out to all of those who have relatives who suffer from any form of dementia. It is a cruel disease and hard not only on the victim but on the families. And I would like to add that those who are currently or have worked in the caregiving field have my utmost respect.
RIP Juan
Note-The woman in the photograph with my brother in law is my dad's wife and his primary caregiver right now. She truly is a hero to me.

IMG_20120526_150911.jpg
 
Oh, so very sorry to read this Markin and sincerest condolences to you and your family. I see this daily as I live in an assisted living facility and the majority of the population here seems to have some form of dementia. We do have an Alzheimer's Unit as well and often some of my friends have wound up there and eventually passed on. Very heartbreaking. Prayers for you.🙏🙏
 
I'm so sorry Mark, that you're going through such sorrow and pain in your family at the moment, this is so hard to imagine for most of us...

My condolences on the loss of your Brother-in-law R.I.P Juan... ... and may the Lord give all the strength to your Dad's wife for her journey ahead..
 
Pinky said:
@MarkinPhx
My deepest condolences. Your father's wife is a wonderful person. It can't be an easy thing to be around-the-clock support. My late mother-in-law had dementia, and it was a difficult thing to watch her decline.
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We have caregivers come in during the week to help out. Now that my dad is eligible for the vaccine and the wave of healthcare workers have gotten theirs, we are considering finding a home for him. His wife is understandably becoming overwhelmed. We all pitch in also but as many know there comes a time when 24 hour care is needed. Thanks all for the thoughts. Juan was a great guy a wonderful husband to my sister.
 
wcwbf said:
almost 2 weeks ago, i get call from my sil. my brother (68 yo) is in the hospital. he's VERY large (fat) and has a growing list of ailments to go along with that dangerous weight. copd, diabetes, etc.

he's not much into talking and seems has been successfully hiding onset of dementia. he had a bad fall and was unable to get up. my sil is very frail and couldn't help. their son called 911 and it was an ordeal getting him out of the house. he ended up in the hospital. has some kind of skin infection on his legs. they kept him overnight. it has been all downhill since then.

my sil has had 2 brain surgeries over the years for cancer. has had memory issues for quite some time now. BUT seems my brother has a much more fragile grasp on reality than any of us suspected. my poor nephew is an only child. if it weren't for covid, i could at least go spend time with my sil while my nephew tries to figure out what to do.
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Oh dear. That is so very sad 😞 and they are so young to be going through something like this. And their son....special prayers for him. That is a lot to deal with. That infection in your brother’s legs is worrisome with his diabetes. Is your sil ok by herself? Why is it, I wonder, that some people seem to have so much wrong in their lives and others go unscathed from birth to funeral home? Guess we will never know. But my heart and prayers certainly go out to your brother, wife, and son...and to you as well. It’s hard to just sit back and not be able to help.
((((Aunt Marg)))
 
MarkinPhx said:
We have caregivers come in during the week to help out. Now that my dad is eligible for the vaccine and the wave of healthcare workers have gotten theirs, we are considering finding a home for him. His wife is understandably becoming overwhelmed. We all pitch in also but as many know there comes a time when 24 hour care is needed. Thanks all for the thoughts. Juan was a great guy a wonderful husband to my sister.
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My siblings and I agreed it was time to find placement for our mom. She'll be 90 this year, diagnosed with dementia when she was 82. We all took turns caring for her. My sister moved in with mom so she could also take care of the large house. She lived there 3 years, then I moved in for 3 years. By then mom had gotten pretty bad and my brother took her to live with him and his wife for a couple years. They needed to hire a home-health nurse who helped out 3 times a week, a few hours per day. We're all glad we were able to help but she's where she needs to be now, with professional staff taking care of her. I call her once or twice a month and write to her every week. On her more lucid days she says she's happy and talks about some friends she made there.
 
Murrmurr said:
My siblings and I agreed it was time to find placement for our mom. She'll be 90 this year, diagnosed with dementia when she was 82. We all took turns caring for her. My sister moved in with mom so she could also take care of the large house. She lived there 3 years, then I moved in for 3 years. By then mom had gotten pretty bad and my brother took her to live with him and his wife for a couple years. They needed to hire a home-health nurse who helped out 3 times a week, a few hours per day. We're all glad we were able to help but she's where she needs to be now, with professional staff taking care of her. I call her once or twice a month and write to her every week. On her more lucid days she says she's happy and talks about some friends she made there.
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@Murrmurr My dad will be 91 in March. Good luck to you and your siblings with finding a place for your mom.
 
Mark, that's such sad news, my sympathy to you and your family for your loss. Rest peacefully Juan. My aunt died from Alzheimer's many years ago, but I was too young to know what was going on. It is a devastating disease for the sufferer and the family, that's for sure. :(
 
Kathleen’s Place said:
Oh dear. That is so very sad 😞 and they are so young to be going through something like this. And their son....special prayers for him. That is a lot to deal with. That infection in your brother’s legs is worrisome with his diabetes. Is your sil ok by herself? Why is it, I wonder, that some people seem to have so much wrong in their lives and others go unscathed from birth to funeral home? Guess we will never know. But my heart and prayers certainly go out to your brother, wife, and son...and to you as well. It’s hard to just sit back and not be able to help.
((((Aunt Marg)))
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sil has not been able to drive for several years. she cannot do stairs without help all the way.
 

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