Depression and the Black dog... do you have it ?

hollydolly

hollydolly

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Location
London England
...for those people who know the awful feeling of depression and the Black dog... and are suffering or have suffered in the past, this thread is for you.

The term black dog, was first popularised by Winston Churchill to describe his own struggled with the illness

The Black Dog symbolizes the persistent and debilitating nature of depression, often characterized by feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in activities.


There’s an Irish saying used to describe someone who has it easy: tá saol an mhadaidh bháin agat, or “the life of the white dog.” In English, though, you might hear the black dog used as a metaphor for depression. The phrase has been employed by everyone from world leaders to lexicographers

If you consistently have the feeling of being weighed down, overwhelmed, and consumed by negative emotions. ...or you are suffering in your day to day life because someone close to you is suffering with depression and the weight of the Black dog on your or their shoulders ... this thread is for you !

Please post here and let others who are suffering know they and you are not alone..
 

We called it Black Snake.

My black snake is PTSD, you see, making me paranoid.
Bringing back toxic memories of killing I try to avoid.
My black snake brings me horrible thoughts.
So I turn to Southern Comfort for drink.
Violence burning deep inside sometimes bubbles to the surface.
War planted this seed in me in a long ago fight.

My black snake hates everyone... Myself most of all!
 

I went through severe depression and anxiety almost 20 years ago. I was so anxious about attending a conference I came close to having a nervous breakdown. When depression hit a few years later I didn't want to get out of bed and had to take time off work. My depression was characterized by the lack of interest in any daily activities, lots of sleep and a "nervousness" that was incredible.

My mother suffered from clinical depression as well, and at one point when I would visit her she would just rock back and forth in her chair and not say anything. Her depression reared its ugly head throughout her life. It is hereditary, but through CBT and various medications I've kept it under control. I still, to this day, experience anxiety when we are getting ready to travel somewhere but I always think a couple of days ahead when I'm at the destination and enjoying myself. Seems to work.
 
I am struggling now as I age and my health begins to deteriorate. I am very concerned about the future. As my lungs go downhill I get sad and scared and I have no one to talk to or lean on here for me. I have to tough it out alone. I'm managing but I wonder to myself for how long.

We all go through hard times. I do hope anyone who is, is able to get the help they need. I wish I had more help but it's not feasible.
 
Fritz said:
I am struggling now as I age and my health begins to deteriorate. I am very concerned about the future. As my lungs go downhill I get sad and scared and I have no one to talk to or lean on here for me. I have to tough it out alone. I'm managing but I wonder to myself for how long.

We all go through hard times. I do hope anyone who is, is able to get the help they need. I wish I had more help but it's not feasible.
Click to expand...
I know that "internet peeps" can't really replace "real life peeps",
but we can try...

 
The Black Cloud of Doom will not move from over my head, sort of like my "shadow that goes in and out with me, and what can be the use of it is more than I can see."

I am sentenced to living under the same roof as a toxic family member. At least the only "space" we share is the roof, and I have my own living quarters.
 
Thanks everybody for taking the time to share stories...

I have suffered depression but worked through it... not clinical depression which must be awful... but certainly not living my best life at all..

My mother as most of you know, suffered dreadfully, and was always on ever more stronger medication... and ultimately took her own life

This gave me a life long fear of anti depressants of any kind.. and on one occasion when I thought I was about to lose my mind, because of several serious events in the space of just 7 days .. and a blood vessel burst in my brain due to the stress... I absolutely refused anti -depressants from the doctor but I knew something HAD to be done.....


...he then begged me to take just a short 10 day dose of sleeping meds.. saying that the mind is the body's worst enemy and to be unable to sleep because the mind won't stop revolving and attacking.. makes everything 10 times worse.. so to be able to get sleep would help me on my road to recovery... and to cut a long story short it did...
 
I've suffered from depression for most of my life. One thing I didn't do, was, reach out to family and friends. On the surface, it didn't show. About 10 yrs. ago, I went through a very emotionally difficult time, and realized I needed help to pull through, and entered into a program at the local hospital. It helped a lot. I have been on a low dose of meds, which I reduced by 50% a couple of months ago.

My advice to those who suffer from depression - talk to your family physician, talk to your family and friends about how you are feeling. Reach out. All the best to you.
 
I've been finding it difficult to leave home. Today I have my pain doctor appointment. I must leave at 1015 am for a short walk which will take me half an hour as I am slow. This doctor has stairs, which are hard for me. Trying hard not to be afraid; just go, come home, watch my soaps which I couldn't do yesterday.

Started back on Risperidone, as I need it. Afraid of shaking from it, but put myself on lowest dose and will not take every day; just on days I must.

Am starting to take a Parkinson med tonight. I hope it has no ill effects. Took it once before, but don't remember what it did.
 
I went through severe panic and anxiety attacks during menopause. Very strong anti-depressants were a godsend, but tapering off them was a long, drawn out process.

@hollydolly, thank you for starting this thread. I hope it will be a good sounding board for SFers with depression, and provide a better understanding of depression for those who don't suffer with it.
 
The black cloud of doom that I mentioned yesterday might actually be moving on. I actually got out and did a little gardening this morning. I'm hoping that this heaviness is like the common cold--a self-limiting disease. One can hope, right?

It would help a whole lot if the blankety-blank rain would move on, too.
 
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