Depression

I was not going to come back to this thread, matter of fact thought about leaving the forum after getting attacked over what I said which I do stand by. I say what I mean and this is a discussion forum after all

I am not a person who throws out words to hurt but the words were directed to someone who has played a game before, many times. Not just here but elsewhere. When you are bombarded with pm's and emails on the subject, you give advice which is ignored, then there comes a point when you say enough is enough. What I said was a polite way of saying "pee or get off the pot" All this at a time where I was still grieving the death of my husband.

What I do resent even more was being chatised by someone dragged over here to join up that day that came from a UK forum that had never been to this forum before and who has not been seen since. So their sole purpose it seemed was to throw angry words at someone they did not even know to buck up the person who dragged them here to do that.

Thank you to the ladies who supported me....you know me and you know I had my reasons. I suppose.

As I say it is a discussion forum, we all may have different thoughts.
 

Lee said:
I was not going to come back to this thread, matter of fact thought about leaving the forum after getting attacked over what I said which I do stand by. I say what I mean and this is a discussion forum after all

I am not a person who throws out words to hurt but the words were directed to someone who has played a game before, many times. Not just here but elsewhere. When you are bombarded with pm's and emails on the subject, you give advice which is ignored, then there comes a point when you say enough is enough. What I said was a polite way of saying "pee or get off the pot" All this at a time where I was still grieving the death of my husband.

What I do resent even more was being chatised by someone dragged over here to join up that day that came from a UK forum that had never been to this forum before and who has not been seen since. So their sole purpose it seemed was to throw angry words at someone they did not even know to buck up the person who dragged them here to do that.

Thank you to the ladies who supported me....you know me and you know I had my reasons. I suppose.

As I say it is a discussion forum, we all may have different thoughts.
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Some heartfelt words there I think. Or at least that's how it seems to me, simply has a reader. Everyone sees the words of others differently and jumps to conclusions too early. Or just simply jumps to conclusions instead of asking for clarification for a better understanding of a person's words.

It's unfortunate that I've noticed this pattern of misinterpretation happening quite often in this forum. Then it gets tiresome when some seem to go out of their way not to see the true meaning of words posted; perhaps those types of people don't want to see.

There can be huge complexities as to why people use the words they do. Complexities that the observer/reader can’t initially see, but it seems at times that many don’t want to see for some reason, or are incapable of at least trying to see. It takes brain power to try to understand someone and their perspective; it takes nothing to misinterpret someone; it takes little effort to ask for clarity by asking questions.

Unfortunately, some then see those questions as an attack, when no attack was intended. It seems that some turn the words of others onto themselves as though they want it to be an attack so they can attack in response. The whole thing then falls apart. I get the impression that a number of good people have left because of this.

Interestingly, I see some who call others attackers worthy of similar scrutiny themselves, maybe more so. Egos can sometimes hinder genuine communication and prevent us from truly understanding one another, and one another’s perspective. Maybe egos get in the way sometimes?

Saying that, perspective needs to be put in place sometimes and regarding my words above. I hope you feel this place can be a place worthy of staying. Sometimes the big bad world out there is much worse than the world inside a forum.
 
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Before all of Lee’s “friends” go haywire….it must be pointed out that she is referring to someone called Daisy99. I have looked at her profile and there is no mention of where she is from. So here you are making assumptions that she is from the UK and someone brought her over. How do you know that? Have you got psychic abilities?

I agree Daisy99’s post #35 was a bit harsh…however… your post which I have printed below is even harsher.

Lee said:
"The only time depression gets to me if someone continually talks about their depression but does nothing to get out of that state.

I have as much empathy as most people but I also have the attitude of "put on your big girl panties and deal with it"

Don't try to bring me down with you."
(end of quote)

What has me perplexed is why Radish Rose attacked me.
My totally valid comment (#63) was made four weeks ago….how come it’s only now all of this is front page news!
I should point out that in post#42, Nathan is asking people “not bring discord into conversations” …. So why are you doing it.

Let me explain something to you, regardless of whom Lee meant in her post (and she did not say), this insensitive remark has no place on a forum about Depression and quite frankly, I am astounded that people are even condoning it.
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@Lee, I understand where you are coming from. You are a new widow, I was much the same when my husband passed. I just lived through five years of terror, taking care of a husband with a terminal cancer diagnosis. Getting a child through high school and his activities and working full time. On top of that I suffered with depression and anxiety my whole life. It was how my brain functioned. Somehow during this time I functioned well despite my own issues.

@Lee,When you lose your spouse it is like your world as you know it is gone. What can be worse. I am sure the widows and widowers here can agree. I know you did not mean to hurt anyone's feelings. You were in away showing us what you were having to do against your will. You may not see it as such as a way of self protection. If you are suffering with feelings you have not had before, depression, anxiety, it is quite normal right now. If that is the case, please talk to your doctor. You may need some help to regain your balance.

I got angry with others when they tried to make me feel like I shoud be over it. It is not something I could just get over. My husband had been my world since I was 15. I did not know how to function without him and my depression and anxiety was two times worse.

If you are strong and are dealing with the loss of your husband well I am happy for you. Others may not be so lucky and I would urge them to seek help.
 
Anthony Bourdain the well known chef both locally usa and internationally suffered from depressive episodes big time.You would need to read his life story to get a full gist of it all - but he had some issues with his parents ; used drugs as a teenager and beyond and then applied himself to hard training to be a chef and then struck it rich. He married at some point in his life a very attractive Italian lady and had a beautiful daughter who was approximately 14yrs old when he hung himself in France on the back of a closet door and was found next morning dead. This was depression full strength with suicidal ideation - he supposedly had everything imaginable but there was something stopping him being happy. Some say its all genetics - hormonal imbalances ; bad parenting ; etc etc - we still don't really know - but you tell me - had everything at his finger tips and topped himself??
 
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davey said:
Anthony Bourdain the well known chef both locally usa and internationally suffered from depressive episodes big time.You would need to read his life story to get a full gist of it all - but he had some issues with his parents ; used drugs as a teenager and beyond and then applied himself to hard training to be a chef and then struck it rich. I married at some point in his life a very attractive Italian lady and had a beautiful daughter who was approximately 14yrs old when he hung himself in France on the back of a closet door and was found next morning dead. This was depression full strength with suicidal ideation - he supposedly had everything imaginable but there was something stopping him being happy. Some say its all genetics - hormonal imbalances ; bad parenting ; etc etc - we still don't really know - but you tell me - had everything at his finger tips and topped himself??
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Sometimes we don’t have control of what goes on in our brains. Depression isn’t always about what we have or don't have, or about our relationships with others, it can be chemical. And from my own experience, something that in the past seems to have developed in my sleep within my subconscious.

I’m no expert on this type of thing, but no doubt factors such as genetics and at times hormonal imbalances can play a part too. Maybe even a person’s development when growing up? I would say that this all goes towards each person’s depression as being somewhat unique.

The most important thing to understand, I think, is that depression is not usually a matter of personal choice.
 
Nathan said:
Yes, happens to the best of us. Let's focus on lending support to one another, 'tis what we're here for.
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I know a few people like that. The person and their ego couldn't get through the doorway together. So many Officers that I worked around thought they owned the compound and made up their own rules as they went along. That used to really irk me. I'm not saying we all have to be going by the book 24/7, but there is a reason why we have a handbook of rules that "must" be followed. Some of the Officers truly believe those rules are for the Officers, not them.

Of course, the Generals are the worse.
 
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