Did you like your mother in law?


Senior Member
United Kingdom
I came to respect, understand and eventually like mine. But at first, when my husband and I were a newly married couple and madly in love, I used to find her quite difficult.

I wasn't very concerned about housework in those early times, there was always something more exciting or interesting to do. Now she lived quite a long way away and so used to come and stay overnight. I was puzzled the first time she stayed as I woke early in the morning to hear sounds down in the kitchen. I found that she had taken all my pots and pans out and was giving them a damned good scrub! Before cleaning the cupboards out. At the time I was amused but looking back now, it was quite irritating and insulting really - especially as she did things like that every time.

Over time I grew to understand that as a widow she was lonely and had had a hard life.
So her sons were everything to her and she couldn't believe their wives could possibly look after them properly like her.

What was your mother in law like?

After a few years, we settled into a "civil" coexistence. I didn't meet her until we had been married for five years and I probably only saw her 4-5 times after that. In fact, I saw her more than my husband did. I always made sure that Mother's Day, birthday and Christmas cards were sent and that she got a picture of my daughter every year. In fact, my daughter and I flew to their 50th wedding anniversary; my husband refused to go.

She was violently opposed to our marriage, did not attend the wedding, forbade anyone else in the family to attend (one of his brothers did.....mainly because he was so glad to no longer be the "#1 Black Sheep" of the family) and caused as much trouble as she could. She told him that she would rather see him in his coffin than marrying me. She referred to me as "The Wh0re of Babylon" for the first few years.

As I said, we were "civil" to each other for the last years but I can't say I ever had any feelings for her or my father-in-law.

I dearly loved the Spousal Equivalent's mother, though. I called her "Mom" and she considered me a daughter even though I wasn't actually a daughter-in-law.
I married my 1st wife, Shelly, when we were still just teenagers. Shelly's dad didn't like me at first. Her mom liked me right away.

They obviously knew Shelly better than I did...as a person, I mean. I think her dad was sure I wouldn't be able to handle it when I finally found out how manipulative and impulsive she was. He was right about that.

I think my mother-in-law hoped I could not only handle it, but cure it, and make Shelly a better person. She was wrong.

They were good in-laws, though. We got along well.

My current wife's mother is deceased and she hasn't seen her father since she was a little girl. She has no idea where he went after her mother divorced him 30-some years ago.
I met my partner when he was 26. His mother was a wonderful, caring person. She was a well-known doctor in their small town. She died of cancer when he was 27. I think the entire town attended her funeral.

For the year that I knew her, she always welcomed me into her home and treated me like part of her Filipino family. We were married in 2016, so she would have been my mother-in-law had she lived. I just wish I'd had more years with her.

I'm sure my hubby would say he loved my mother, who passed away almost 2 years ago. She was a handful, but they got along quite well. She listened to his advice when she wouldn't listen to mine. He's caring, just like his mother, so she was happy to have him as her son-in-law. After 30 years, she was pretty sure he was a permanent fixture. ;)
Sometimes we are okay, but sometimes I can't understand her, I think it's because my mother is not like that. She always had negative feedback when it comes to our life, my children, and our goals. Like even if I do everything, I give my best and effort, I can feel that it's still not enough for her. But I just understand her and love her because at the end of the day she is the one gave life to my one and only love ❤️
Didn't have much contact with my first MIL but when I needed her advice about her son doing me and himself wrong, she said something profound that made me feel better. My second husband's parents died before we got married.
My ex’s MIL never really forgave me for ending it with her precious baby. He used to lie to her so who knows what she heard. For the sake of the kids, we kept it friendly. She loved to tell cute stories about him, even in front of my present husband.

I only met my present husband’s mother a couple of times before she passed.
I liked mine. She was friendly to me from the start. She lived over in Alberta, in a small house in the countryside. She & FIL liked the outdoors, went fishing in streams when they travelled. MIL had been born in the Canadian prairies, raised on a farm... a young girl during the Dirty Thirties (Depression). A very practical person. She was interested in our lifestyle on the land and our career pursuits.

I had a varied CD collection while she was alive, and at one point I thought she might like some big-band swing music, so I put some on the sound system. She really opened up, telling me how, as a young woman, she used to dance & dance! (I think it surprised my wife to hear that.)
A wise mother in law knows it's best to be nice and pleasant to the person who now has your child's heart. Pitting yourself against them in battle is foolish and will usually backfire. Yet it is the traditional material for jokes. I remember Les Dawson's inimitable humour on the subject.