Do (Did) You Define Yourself By Your Work?

OneEyedDiva

OneEyedDiva

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Location
New Jersey
For some people it's all about work. As the article points out, when meeting new people, the question "What do you do?" is often asked. For some people their work is so much a part of who they are that their self worth depends on them continuing to work. This article "I'm Retired: So Who Am I Now?" explores some of the major changes retirees face. https://www.nextavenue.org/im-retired-so-who-am-i-now/
 

My husband is retiring at the end of this year, he'll be 60, and for the first time in 60 years he'll get to enjoy life for himself. I am so happy for him, but I harvest sadness, too, because way too many years of our lives is spent working, and IMO, the return falls well short of rewarding one with those lost years and time.

Hubby definitely never defined himself by his work, he just did what he had to, but as Paco, mentioned, the sooner people take that wake up pill that allows them to wake up, come to their senses and snap out of their work stupor, the sooner they can get on with their own lives and start enjoying what little time they have left.

Never did understand those who work their entire lives and then drop dead a few years after retiring. For what? For who? A waste of a life as far as I'm concerned.
 

The transition to Retirement can be challenging. After 40 years of working, I found it a bit strange to get up in the morning with nothing of any real importance to do. A few routine household/yard duties didn't consume more than a fraction of the day...and sitting in front of the TV for hours is Not my idea of how to spend the day. We did some traveling in my first year of retirement, and that helped, but wasn't much of a long term solution.

We finally decided to move to a rural area, where the city noise, pollution, and crime, etc., isn't a problem, and I now have dozens of hours of good healthy outdoor work/chores to do every day that the weather permits. This has been a good move, as we stay fairly fit and healthy with all this activity, and the days seem to pass very quickly. One of the daughters and both grand daughters have also moved away from the city, and are within easy driving distance, so our family visits have increased.

If we want a break from the routine, there is a nice casino about an hour away, and that is a bunch of fun....especially if we win.
 
I never discussed my work or used it to define me outside of professional circles.

I've always been curious about how others see me or explain my existence.

When I stopped working at age 51 many people automatically assumed that I received some form of disability insurance or government assistance.

A few people close to me assumed that I had become wealthy through some stroke of good luck.

Nobody considered the idea that my comfortable little life was due to thrift and good management on my part.
 

Do (Did) You Define Yourself By Your Work?​


No

For a time, maybe

I just look back at my history
.....and laugh

This topic reminds me of something I once put together


Seems life is divided up into indistinct sections of which we ease in to and out of, like a balloon coaxed thru a small opening, morphing sometimes without notice:​

Eating/pooping (part 1, discovering texture)​


Preschool (intro to social, sharing)​


School (the teacher is God)​


Teenage (high school hell, for teen and parent, hormones are an entity requiring exorcism, the teacher is Satan)​


College/military (fun, fun, fun; learn, drink, fornicate, kill)​


Pre-parental Early adult (more fun, but serious, sipping not chugging, serious pursuits, mating, career)​


Parental (joy)​


Parental hell (see teenage)​


Midlife (see early adult, attempts at hindsight adjustments)​


Grandparent (brief joy)​


Grandparental hell (hiding, see teenage)​


Musing Youngish Geezer (lazy boy-crossword-Jeopardy sessions, looking upon mate with renewed ardour, reflecting, attempting things you did with ease years ago)​


Geezer (whazzat? Whoozzair?)​


Eating/pooping (part 2)...Nurse!? I did it again (toothless smile)​


Dirt nap​

 
Gary O' said:

Do (Did) You Define Yourself By Your Work?​


No

For a time, maybe

I just look back at my history
.....and laugh

This topic reminds me of something I once put together


Seems life is divided up into indistinct sections of which we ease in to and out of, like a balloon coaxed thru a small opening, morphing sometimes without notice:​

Eating/pooping (part 1, discovering texture)​


Preschool (intro to social, sharing)​


School (the teacher is God)​

​

Teenage (high school hell, for teen and parent, hormones are an entity requiring exorcism, the teacher is Satan)​

​

College/military (fun, fun, fun; learn, drink, fornicate, kill)​

​

Pre-parental Early adult (more fun, but serious, sipping not chugging, serious pursuits, mating, career)​

​

Parental (joy)​

​

Parental hell (see teenage)​

​

Midlife (see early adult, attempts at hindsight adjustments)​

​

Grandparent (brief joy)​

​

Grandparental hell (hiding, see teenage)​

​

Musing Youngish Geezer (lazy boy-crossword-Jeopardy sessions, looking upon mate with renewed ardour, reflecting, attempting things you did with ease years ago)​

​

Geezer (whazzat? Whoozzair?)​

​

Eating/pooping (part 2)...Nurse!? I did it again (toothless smile)​

​

Dirt nap​

Click to expand...
iStock-682424594-1.jpg
 
No.
The list of jobs makes it impossible to do that.

The question What Do You Do? was asked by a motivational speaker at one of the management retreats I went to. My answer. I work with my sons on various home & car projects. She corrected her question to what position do you hold in the company.
 
I certainly did while I was in the Navy for 31 years, and especially when I became a Senior Officer. Being on active duty is a 24 hour job. It took a couple of years to let that get out of my system and gradually adapt to the idea of being an "ordinary Joe."

During my 14 year civilian career, I felt sad to see do many retired officers who continued to hang around the Officers Club thinking that they were still actively involved. It was particularly disgusting for me to interact with other Companies and see signs on their Office Doors listing their former military ranks. This is certainly not the path toward reality and contentment in retirement. I have gradually withdrawn from being actively involved with retired military associations and simply desire to drift contentedly down the trail toward the sunset with my wonderful wife.
 
Nope. Work is a necessary evil to keep me fed and sheltered with some additional funds to enjoy life. If I could be paid to do what I love work would define me. However it only defines a part of me. I do love some aspects of working and my work life, but overall I'd love to be paid to do whatever the heck I want to do.

I work to live, I don't live to work.
 
My working life has been in the logistics industry. That simply means the movement, storage and delivery of goods.
Since the invention of the internal combustion engine and it's enhancement by Rudolf Diesel, the delivery of goods has been the arteries of modern society.

My role was that of head honcho in the distribution centre. The company that I worked for, back in the day (Hays) were a forward thinking organisation. They wanted their managers to know the work pressures of the people for whom they were responsible for. The analogy they used was that the conductor of an orchestra may not be able to play every instrument, but he could tell if anyone was out of tune. To that end I had to learn, and pass the appropriate tests to gain a licence in order to drive large trucks and fork lift trucks.

Call it inverted snobbery if you like, but whenever I was asked what I did, and if I suspected an ulterior reason, like oneupmanship, I would say: "I'm a truck driver," then to qualify that, I would show my licence that was necessary to drive such vehicles. Following that I would change the subject or engage conversation with someone else. It always garnered a reaction, reason being, my home is not what the average truck driver could afford to live in.
 
Yes too much and still do though retired. I am reading and writing in areas of expertise because I want to Sadly few people especially not ladies are the slightest bit interested or understand it. Money talks!!
 
Surprisingly, once I left my work, I have rarely thought about it. I was very involved for over 40 years, but once I was done, I was done. Retirement has been tough since I discovered knee problems and had surgery and recovery, then moved. Seems like I have been waiting so long for my retirement to start for real!!
 
Pecos said:
I certainly did while I was in the Navy for 31 years, and especially when I became a Senior Officer. Being on active duty is a 24 hour job. It took a couple of years to let that get out of my system and gradually adapt to the idea of being an "ordinary Joe."

During my 14 year civilian career, I felt sad to see do many retired officers who continued to hang around the Officers Club thinking that they were still actively involved. It was particularly disgusting for me to interact with other Companies and see signs on their Office Doors listing their former military ranks. This is certainly not the path toward reality and contentment in retirement. I have gradually withdrawn from being actively involved with retired military associations and simply desire to drift contentedly down the trail toward the sunset with my wonderful wife.
Click to expand...
After I retired, I visited my former co-worker/friends/family every couple of weeks for a few months. I had an excuse though...besides missing them. I sold aromatherapy products at the time and had customers in the building. I finally stopped going. I used to have dreams that I worked there pro-bono but didn't do my paperwork. And when I thought I'd get in trouble for it, I remembered I am retired and not being paid for this. :LOL: Glad you developed the attitude you have and in fact do have that wonderful life with your wonderful wife.
 
I loved my work and in one sense it was a curse simply because of the people I interacted with over the years that saw work as too demanding of their time. Overhearing comments about me throughout the years I would say my work did in part, define me but in my defense when I left at the end of the day work did not exist. Almost like Jekyll & Hyde.
 
When I retired, I walked moved away and never really thought about it again, though while working I would often dream of a technical solutions.

In new social settings it was obvious that employment definitely factored into conversations.
 
I never thought of myself as being defined by my job during my work life. I did alot of things, and made a number of job changes. I worked as an Aquatic Biologist, design engineer, Project Manager, Software engineering manager and a trainer.

After I retired I started to volunteer at a great non-profit. I teach martial arts to children with chronic diseases. We tell the kids we are teaching them karate, and we do some punching and kicking in the air; but mostly we teach them meditation and pain management techniques. I find my volunteer work extremely rewarding and fulfilling. Truth be told, I get more from the children then I can possibly give back to them.
 

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