Do you bear a grudge ?

Wren

Wren

Well-known Member
Location
Europe
They say ‘Forgive and Forget’, but are you capable of doing this or do you bear a grudge ?

Obviously it depends on the situation, and how badly you’ve been treated, personally I might forgive but I don’t forget....
 

Sometimes it takes me longer to forgive if it's a BIG hurt but I've eventually been able to. I have to remember my own imperfections and wrongs I've done and I see I need to be better and so do others but also we all do it in are own time. I used to have grudges but not as much any more; I am able to laugh about more now==but not the really big things, takes time.
 
Oh boy. Because of how I process things I can get stuck but when I do forgive I try to forget too but sometimes it’s impossible.
Most stuff I can let go of but some stuff I can’t and it can get tossed around in my mind until I can find a way to deal with it.
I don’t do well with shoving stuff under the carpet and pretending it never happened. Sometimes I make too big a deal out of betrayals and other times I let people off far too easily but I can be a complicated individual. Just ask my other half. I drive him crazy at times. :lol:
 
OK, some things are so trivial that you can just forget them, but there are things that I have never forgiven and have no intention of forgiving. Forgiveness in the absence of remorse is simply letting someone get away with it.
 
No

No grudges

Just lessons

I don’t have enough room in my head for grudges to go bouncing around, getting in the way

Lessons learned?

They seem to settle in and wait for the time they're needed

I could always use more of those
 
Now, that I'm getting older, I'm more forgiving than I used to be. When I was in my 20-40s, if you "dun me wrong", I'd have no problem tossing you out a window, never to speak to you until eternity ends. Yeah, I was very judgemental back then. But, since, I'm the one most probably screwing up, I've gotten much more forgiving. Heck, with my track record, I had to.
 
Last week,I was really po'd with a church staff member who I help each week in the business office,a miscommunication between the two of us.I stormed out not giving her a chance to explain,which had never happened between us before
A couple hrs later,she sent me a apology email,when I read what was going on with her,I felt like a complete idiot,kicking myself for acting the way I did
I sent her an apology ,said I was very sorry for acting like a 'brat'
Most of the time I do forgive the person,just let it go Sue
 
With regard to large or chronic transgressions, I don't actually hold a grudge but I just don't enjoy that person anymore and stay away.

If the person apologizes, I can forgive, but don't forget. If the person has other qualities I admire and enjoy, I'd rather not throw the baby out with the bath water.
 
I don't dwell on holding a grudge, but I do file such events in the back of my mind....knowing that whoever ticked me off, will most likely do something in the future that will give me an opportunity to respond accordingly, should I chose to do so. An unkind word from a family member/friend is Not something I would be bothered by....rather I would try to help them resolve whatever is bothering them, or consider that I might be at fault, and behave myself in the future.
 
If the school bully John Decker shows up at our 55 year High School reunion this fall he's going to find out just how long I can hold a grudge. :mad:
 
Yes, but not against others. I hold grudges against myself for a lot of mistakes I have made in decisions and actions I was involved or did. I never broke any laws, just think I could have done better. Have you ever said to yourself, "I won't do that again, and you do it again."
 
Yes I hold grudges. Not many but a few I can't let go. A couple incidents weren't even aimed at me but a loved one. Of course if the person it was aimed at didn't have a problem with it I wouldn't either but they were hurt badly.

I could never understand people who,as an example, had a loved one murdered and then publicly say they forgive the person. I'd be out for blood and would have no problem taking that person out if given the chance.
 
Trade said:
If the school bully John Decker shows up at our 55 year High School reunion this fall he's going to find out just how long I can hold a grudge. :mad:
Click to expand...

I actually ran into the guy who bullied me, when I was a little kid. This was ten years later, waiting in line to see Annie Hall. He said to me, "I'm sorry I was such an asshole. You can go ahead and kick my ass, I deserve it." I just looked at him, and then turned away. He was always this huge kid, but Karma kind of got him: As an adult, he stood less than 5'5". I hope he lived a good life.
 
Trade said:
If the school bully John Decker shows up at our 55 year High School reunion this fall he's going to find out just how long I can hold a grudge. :mad:
Click to expand...

Have you checked to see if he's still alive? Or maybe in a nursing home?

I'm not saying you should forgive him.....kick his a$$!!
 
Last edited:
Some people make it hard to forgive them and easy to hold a grudge against them. For example, I have family members that either say they're sorry or act as if they are but then they turn around and do the exact same thing again. If they were truly sorry, they would make it a point to not ever do that again but they don't. They keep doing the same thing over and over.
 
AprilSun said:
Some people make it hard to forgive them and easy to hold a grudge against them. For example, I have family members that either say they're sorry or act as if they are but then they turn around and do the exact same thing again. If they were truly sorry, they would make it a point to not ever do that again but they don't. They keep doing the same thing over and over.
Click to expand...


Aprilsun...lets face it some people just need to "stop off at CVS and pick up a new personality!"
 
Besides lacking patience, this is another problem that I have. I don’t forgive very easy, or let go very easy.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top