Do you feel that people really understand you and your life?

V

Victor

Senior Member
Location
midwest USA
All my life I have felt misunderstood, especially by my family.
Even friends. I am very open and confessional to close
friends. Maybe this depends on how much you express your
feelings, self doubts, thought. Introverts are less likely
to be understood well. Some people are shallow that it
doesn't matter. I know when people don't understand really
when they make cliche insensitive comments and questions.
"you don't need to hear "the glass is half full".

My sense is that unless someone has lived like you have lived
in your lifestyle, they will fail to understand.

A famous man once said, people understand me so little that they
do not even understand when I complain about being misunderstood.
 

One thing for sure, nobody, where we live, understands why we want to move back to Colorado. There are some, but not many, that understand my humor, both sarcastic and sometimes arrogant, like my wife does. There are those that even think, and I'm sure they are "thinking" this...……."he needs to grow up".

Funny, but, what wife and I like to do in life, none of our families do.
 
Most people are self-obsessed anyway....they are not as interested in anyone else as you might think. Perhaps those who feel misunderstood are simply not getting the attention they think they are entitled to?
 
When I was younger I really cared what others think,not so much today. My Mom would always say,What will people think? These days I still won't go to the store in a stained shirt or holes in my pants . My hubby gets the brunt of my upbringing. He still hasn't figured out what colors go with what and he doesn't care. I'm always thinking someone is wondering why his wife lets him out of the house dressed like that. Dress shoes,shorts and a cowboy hat,Good Lord, the man needs help.
 
I don't understand other people. I'm sure they don't understand me, but I don't really think on that. I just see so many people just 'showing up' every day without a thought for their future. That defies my understanding.
 
No, unless they have walked in our shoes, they don't understand. I don't care either until they start trying to tell me how to live my life as if they understand. That's what upsets me. I feel they have no right to tell us what to do or quit doing until they walk in our shoes. In the meantime, they should mind their own business.
 
I don't think most people stop and take the time to understand someone else. You know what they say, "Most people don't really care about you and the rest are just curious".
I'd say live and let live...those who do understand you are the ones that matter.
 
I am of the same opinion as victor. There are things about me other people don't or won't try to understand. And they don't
understand what it was like for me in the military. I had security clearances to things that scared even me. Secrets that even today I have even after such a long time. Oh ya I know yall gonna say what the heck could I have after this much time that is still classified. Well now wouldn't some conniving foreign military like to know how it was 'back' then and maybe use it to figure out what it is today? Also some of the equipment is still in use today! And nope can't tell ya! ha.....
 
I don't get the problem. If I like someone, that's it, i like 'em and enjoy their company. If they'r e"hard to understand" (whatever that means), I'll pass and let someone else figure it out.

What's there that I need to understand about them, or them about me. From the original topic, we're talking about acquaintances, not husbands, wives, or business partners.Too many other things in life, to be concerned about. If people are wandering about with strange secrets that are off-putting, that's their problem, not mine. And maybe I'm the weird, mis-understood person?? Then I'd say, give me a wide berth 'cause I'm not worth your trouble to "understand".
 
It's not the not understanding (I mean seriously do we even really understand ourselves?). It's the misunderstanding that can cause problems, of how we communicate. In that case, yes, understanding--or at least trying to--can make a difference. Give yourself and others the benefit of the doubt, at least try to.
 
You are right that those who haven't been there in your shoes probably don't understand. I feel that many may just not care enough to try to understand. Then some may understand on some level but not convey that to us, too. I'm pretty sure that there would be those who would have a hard time understanding me and just say something dismissive as a result. Empathy is also something that many do not have.
 
I've realized that people only understand from their level of perception.

I used to waste my time explaining who I am to people who were committed to misunderstanding me...mostly online...but I've gotten better about walking away from them. In real life, it doesn't happen much anymore but it does occasionally.

Some members have said that they don't care if they're misunderstood and I want to join in and say I don't care either. But I'm still learning that...haven't quite gotten there.
6c8a96d883b3e63a589f7732f3ac6c7d.jpg
 
I do care about gaining understanding about me and what makes me tick from my loved ones. Whether it should be or not, that's important to me. That said, I don't expect understanding from them about everything. I think that's an entirely unreal expectation.

What I'm talking about, what I hope for, is for understanding of the broad strokes of my life and my choices, and NOT the specifics or the minutiae. As long as my loved ones understand me from the viewpoint of my character, my values, my priorities, I'm good with that. If they get that, then their general expectations of me will follow and they won't be confused or disappointed. They may not agree, but that's not what we're talking about here. Whether they agree or not, my hope is that my loved ones know me well enough to understand.

And they do. And I'm good with that.
 


Back
Top