Ever have tipping remorse?

V

Victor

Senior Member
Location
midwest USA
Ever tip too much and regretted it later, or not tip enough, and sorry?
I am usually an average tipper, but when I get a very personal service
such as massage, I am so grateful, I overtip! Then I feel obliged to tip
the same if I return--and often the same lady is not there.
 

The only remorse I feel is opening my purse to pay for an already overpriced meal, knowing I have to come up with an additional 15% - 20% more for a tip, hence why dear husband and I never go out to eat.

Two occasions are etched in my mind as far as times where we left no tip, because of such poor service.
 

Over tipping can create awkward situations and change the balance in a relationship but I still do it when I feel that it's important to me.

The last time was at the local Supercuts for a basic haircut that came to around $18.00 with tax. I added a $20.00 dollar tip to the bill in an effort to show my appreciation and support for the young woman's efforts/struggle during the pandemic.
 
Aunt Bea said:
The last time was at the local Supercuts for a basic haircut that came to around $18.00 with tax. I added a $20.00 dollar tip to the bill in an effort to show my appreciation and support for the young woman's efforts/struggle during the pandemic.
Click to expand...

You and DH must have been talking. He’s been giving the barber lots extra since the pandemic. He never has the same man, just feels for them.
 
One thing I have been curious about is...who decides what the "norm" tipping percentage is?

Did somebody just start tipping at 15% and others around that person started doing likewise so that the practice spread until it was considered "the norm"? Did somebody decree that instead of 10% thou shalt tip 15%? Who is responsible for pushing the percentage ever upward?

So we don't waste space on stating the obvious, I understand that people in certain jobs depend on tips to make up for meager wages, and I respect that by tipping appropriately. What I don't understand is contained in the questions I am asking.

Like others in this thread, I have been tipping higher than "the norm" due to these people (barbers, food servers) having to work at customer-facing jobs during the COVID-19 era, so my questions above are of a more curious nature rather than a complaint against tipping. It seems to me that fashions and what is acceptable for tipping, these are somehow mandated and I don't know who decides these things (how much to tip, what colors are "in" this year or how wide one's tie should be, etc.) for the rest of us.

Tony
 
tbeltrans said:
One thing I have been curious about is...who decides what the "norm" tipping percentage is?

Did somebody just start tipping at 15% and others around that person started doing likewise so that the practice spread until it was considered "the norm"? Did somebody decree that instead of 10% thou shalt tip 15%? Who is responsible for pushing the percentage ever upward?

So we don't waste space on stating the obvious, I understand that people in certain jobs depend on tips to make up for meager wages, and I respect that by tipping appropriately. What I don't understand is contained in the questions I am asking.

Like others in this thread, I have been tipping higher than "the norm" due to these people (barbers, food servers) having to work at customer-facing jobs during the COVID-19 era, so my questions above are of a more curious nature rather than a complaint against tipping. It seems to me that fashions and what is acceptable for tipping, these are somehow mandated and I don't know who decides these things (how much to tip, what colors are "in" this year or how wide one's tie should be, etc.) for the rest of us.

Tony
Click to expand...
You know what chaps by bottom to no end, Tony?

Picking up a takeout order and using the card reader to pay, and being prompted through the card reader for a tip.

I don't think so!
 
tbeltrans said:
One thing I have been curious about is...who decides what the "norm" tipping percentage is?

Did somebody just start tipping at 15% and others around that person started doing likewise so that the practice spread until it was considered "the norm"? Did somebody decree that instead of 10% thou shalt tip 15%? Who is responsible for pushing the percentage ever upward?

So we don't waste space on stating the obvious, I understand that people in certain jobs depend on tips to make up for meager wages, and I respect that by tipping appropriately. What I don't understand is contained in the questions I am asking.

Like others in this thread, I have been tipping higher than "the norm" due to these people (barbers, food servers) having to work at customer-facing jobs during the COVID-19 era, so my questions above are of a more curious nature rather than a complaint against tipping. It seems to me that fashions and what is acceptable for tipping, these are somehow mandated and I don't know who decides these things (how much to tip, what colors are "in" this year or how wide one's tie should be, etc.) for the rest of us.

Tony
Click to expand...
Here in Canada most card readers start at 15% for a tip amount, which in the past dear husband and I always pass on so we can manually enter a tip amount in keeping with our affordability, not that of some pre-set, self-serving amount.
 
Aunt Marg said:
Here in Canada most card readers start at 15% for a tip amount, which in the past dear husband and I always pass on so we can manually enter a tip amount in keeping with our affordability, not that of some pre-set, self-serving amount.
Click to expand...
Most of us can probably remember when a 10% tip was "the norm". Who set that, and then who set "the norm" to 15%?

In other words, who is it that makes these kinds of decisions for us, whether what styles of clothing or how much to tip?

I have always ignored styles, but have noticed that when shopping for clothes, whatever is "in" pretty much dictates what will be commonly available. A typical conversation in a clothing store might go something like this:

Customer: Do you have any shirts with stripes?
Sales person: No, that is not the current style.

As for tipping, as you have mentioned, automated pay processes seem to have their own set tipping amounts. However, well before that, the tipping "norm" seems to have been set by somebody and followed by everybody (or at least enough people for it to become considered "the norm"). Where do these things originate (i.e. who is responsible for setting these trends)?

Who is the "man behind the curtain"? Does anybody know, or do we all just follow like sheep?

Tony
 
While vacationing at Niagara Falls, the restaurant menu's prices were in Canadian dollars but American dollars were accepted, so that's what I paid in when the waitress brought the bill. Her face lit up when I told her to keep the change as a tip. I did not know the exchange rate, so it must have come out quite well in her favor.
 
Aunt Marg said:
Here in Canada most card readers start at 15% for a tip amount, which in the past dear husband and I always pass on so we can manually enter a tip amount in keeping with our affordability, not that of some pre-set, self-serving amount.
Click to expand...
I prefer to tip in cash so that the food service worker actually receives the tip, rather than giving the boss an opportunity to skim the tips.
 
tbeltrans said:
Most of us can probably remember when a 10% tip was "the norm". Who set that, and then who set "the norm" to 15%?

In other words, who is it that makes these kinds of decisions for us, whether what styles of clothing or how much to tip?

I have always ignored styles, but have noticed that when shopping for clothes, whatever is "in" pretty much dictates what will be commonly available. A typical conversation in a clothing store might go something like this:

Customer: Do you have any shirts with stripes?
Sales person: No, that is not the current style.

As for tipping, as you have mentioned, automated pay processes seem to have their own set tipping amounts. However, well before that, the tipping "norm" seems to have been set by somebody and followed by everybody (or at least enough people for it to become considered "the norm"). Where do these things originate (i.e. who is responsible for setting these trends)?

Who is the "man behind the curtain"? Does anybody know, or do we all just follow like sheep?

Tony
Click to expand...
As always, many great points, Tony.

Tipping IMO should be based upon that of each patron. The end.

To be perfectly honest, I don't understand the whole tipping thing, I mean, table servers are paid an hourly wage, so... where does the tip come into effect, and why does it come into effect?

If the food is good, then it should be the chef or cook in the back getting the tip, no?

If I'm a nurse in a hospital, should I get tips from each bed-ridden patient I tend to, because I'm good at taking care of them?

If I were a janitor in a school, should students bring monies to school with them each day to tip me, because I keep the floors swept and the garbage cans emptied?

What is it with all of the tipping these days?
 
Aunt Marg said:
As always, many great points, Tony.

Tipping IMO should be based upon that of each patron. The end.

To be perfectly honest, I don't understand the whole tipping thing, I mean, table servers are paid an hourly wage, so... where does the tip come into effect, and why does it come into effect?

If the food is good, then it should be the chef or cook in the back getting the tip, no?

If I'm a nurse in a hospital, should I get tips from each bed-ridden patient I tend to, because I'm good at taking care of them?

If I were a janitor in a school, should students bring monies to school with them each day to tip me, because I keep the floors swept and the garbage cans emptied?

What is it with all of the tipping these days?
Click to expand...
From what I understand, those who get tips are paid ridiculously low wages. Apparently, there is some sort of loophole either in law or common practice that allows these folks to get less than minimum wage, and the tips are intended to make up for that. In other words, the prices you see on the menu are not the REAL prices, since you have to pay a portion of the wait staff's wages directly to the wait staff.

As for nurses or other hospital staff, I suppose tipping would cause problems such as favoritism in which one patient (the big tipper) gets proper care and the others get whatever time is remaining divided among them. As with law enforcement, I suppose tipping such people would be considered a form of bribery, rather than reward.

As long as I have been alive, service staff has always been tipped. The guy who brings your suitcases up to your hotel room, the elevator operator (when those positions existed), the doorman, the valet, all these people have always been tipped along with wait staff in restaurants.

Tony
 
tbeltrans said:
Most of us can probably remember when a 10% tip was "the norm". Who set that, and then who set "the norm" to 15%?

In other words, who is it that makes these kinds of decisions for us, whether what styles of clothing or how much to tip?

I have always ignored styles, but have noticed that when shopping for clothes, whatever is "in" pretty much dictates what will be commonly available. A typical conversation in a clothing store might go something like this:

Customer: Do you have any shirts with stripes?
Sales person: No, that is not the current style.

As for tipping, as you have mentioned, automated pay processes seem to have their own set tipping amounts. However, well before that, the tipping "norm" seems to have been set by somebody and followed by everybody (or at least enough people for it to become considered "the norm"). Where do these things originate (i.e. who is responsible for setting these trends)?

Who is the "man behind the curtain"? Does anybody know, or do we all just follow like sheep?

Tony
Click to expand...
I don't know who or what restaurant chain owner or CEO is behind it, but wait servers are paid at a lower wage scale, saving restaurants billions annually, and we pay the balance of their wages in the form of tips. I'm pretty certain it's that owner or CEO who sets the standard of how much is customary as the cost of living has gone up while the wait person's wage remains relatively stagnant.
 
Murrmurr said:
I don't know who or what restaurant chain owner or CEO is behind it, but wait servers are paid at a lower wage scale, saving restaurants billions annually, and we pay the balance of their wages in the form of tips. I'm pretty certain it's that owner or CEO who sets the standard of how much is customary as the cost of living has gone up while the wait person's wage remains relatively stagnant.
Click to expand...
Yes, that is what I said in a post following the one you quoted:

From what I understand, those who get tips are paid ridiculously low wages. Apparently, there is some sort of loophole either in law or common practice that allows these folks to get less than minimum wage, and the tips are intended to make up for that. In other words, the prices you see on the menu are not the REAL prices, since you have to pay a portion of the wait staff's wages directly to the wait staff.

That is an interesting point about who sets the standard for tipping. However, it seems to be much more universal than would be the reach of a CEO of even a chain of restaurants.

Tony
 
tbeltrans said:
Yes, that is what I said in a post following the one you quoted:

From what I understand, those who get tips are paid ridiculously low wages. Apparently, there is some sort of loophole either in law or common practice that allows these folks to get less than minimum wage, and the tips are intended to make up for that. In other words, the prices you see on the menu are not the REAL prices, since you have to pay a portion of the wait staff's wages directly to the wait staff.

That is an interesting point about who sets the standard for tipping. However, it seems to be much more universal than would be the reach of a CEO of even a chain of restaurants.

Tony
Click to expand...
Do you think it just caught on or that I'm probably incorrect?
I know tipping isn't done in the few places I've traveled to, England, South America, and Thailand, and they don't understand why we do it. Some of those places think tipping is rude.
 
Don M. said:
We generally follow the 15% rule. If the food and service are very good, we add a bit...and conversely if the waitress is grouchy, or the food is marginal, we drop a bit. Most "servers" are only paid minimum wage, so a couple of dollars for a tip makes a lot of difference for them.
Click to expand...
This - "the 15% rule", is what I am asking about. Where did it originate and how did it spread?

Tony
 


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