Ex-husband's wife has cancer

Leann

Leann

Traveler
My ex-husband and I have been divorced for over a decade. A few months after our divorce, he married the woman with whom he had been having an affair during our marriage. She was 22 years his junior and was an illegal immigrant. A few years ago they moved back to her home country in Central America so she could be closer to her family. I think it was also for financial reasons as he was always terrible handling money and they couldn't afford a comfortable life in America.

I learned today that his wife has cancer. I don't know how aggressive it is but I was forwarded a link from his sister to a "go fund me" page that he set up in the hopes of raising $27,000 for her medical care in Central America. No, I won't be donating. However, I am not happy about her illness, either. My humanity won't allow me to celebrate someone else's misfortune.

Our marriage was so fractured that there wasn't a way to repair it. In a way, she did us a favor. She was the catalyst that made us finally draw our miserable marriage to a conclusion. In a way, I have a silent sense of gratitude towards her.

I wish her well. I understand the road ahead will be difficult. She needs surgery, chemotherapy and radiation and they don't have the funds nor the insurance to pay for it.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this other than this is new to me and I needed to share it with someone.
 

It is a weird feeling when someone who betrayed you is hit with something terrible. You'd think it would make you feel good, but, if you're a nice person, it doesn't.
My ex wife died a couple of years ago of cancer. We were divorced 35 years ago when she cheated on me (among other betrayals). When she was sick, a mutual friend suggested I visit her. I said, "No thanks. I don't wish her bad & I hope she gets well, but I'm not interested in visiting her." He thought I was not being nice, but I reminded him that we all get sick & we all die; doesn't mean we have to be extra nice to those who hurt us.
 
Leann, I think that news like this brings up all kinds of conflicting feelings in us. I think you are handling it very well. I also personally think that it was very tasteless and unkind for whoever sent you the GoFundMe page to do that; surely that person should have known it was inappropriate to send it to you, and might be upsetting on several levels.
 
Who am I to judge.. I;'m not going to. what you have to do is what you feel most comfortable doing for you....

I'm sorry this happened to your marriage it's awful, but I also wish this woman well, cancer is a horrible disease...
 
As you said =she done you both a favour ' seems the marriage was bad before she came along '
but cancer it's just dam awful I just lost my friend in her 50s last year with it -
glad you put the thread up' as its a mixture of shall I forgive her !!
 
Where my exes are concerned, they both brought the terrible lives, they now lead, on themselves. I wish them well, as I do any other person on this planet, but on a personal level, I'm not losing any sleep over their misfortunes.
 


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