First Responders, and courage.

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
My oldest son Corey is a firefighter. He's trained as an EMT and Paramedic, and was just promoted to Captain. He and his family are the ones I'm staying with right now in California.

I am hugely proud of him. I also worry, and it's hard to keep it in check sometimes, especially when I am aware of a specific fire he's fighting, like the recent Southen Cal wildfires that raged back in November 2018. He and his firefighter brothers fought those fires when they first broke out for almost 40 hours straight before they got their first break, and continued to fight them for almost 2 weeks after that with no time off before those first strike teams were recalled and others deployed in their place, rigs from Arizona, Nevada, Oregon. Etc. I was quietly terrified for him. It doesn't even matter that he's 40+ years old, an adult with 4 kids of his own. Makes not a damn bit of difference. THIS IS MY KID AND HE'S IN HARM'S WAY EVERY TIME HE GOES TO WORK. And even more than that, he CHOSE to serve, to put his life on the line, to protect. And while I'm unutterably proud, I also continue to be afraid.

We talked about this last night. He knows how fearful I am for him and how easily that fear threatens to overwhelm me when I think about it (and I'm tearing up right now just talking about it.) I commended him for how much courage he has. He demurred, talked about risk assessment, and judgment, about how it's part of his job to assess risk vs rescue, and that he and his brothers are trained to weigh the potential success of rescue against the fire threat, and that sometimes it's necessary to make that hard call and pull his men and himself back. And that it's not a matter of courage as much as it is training.

Nope. No. I disagree. Yeah, I know I'm biased, completely and absolutely. But I also just can't see it any other way. The mere fact that he chose this path, chose to train as a firefighter and paramedic, and that every day that he's on the job he chooses to fight fire, to run into those burning buildings and out of control wildfires, to witness first hand the devastation to life and bodies and structures that can result from fire, to volunteer at Burn Camps for kids and help teach them how to have fun even without limbs or with scarring over 80% of their little bodies....to me that takes a certain kind of person with a whole lot of courage.

I'm sure I'm not the only one on this forum with a First Responder in the family, or who know one or more, or used to be one. (911 I’m 👀 at you 😉) Please, share your stories and your concerns, let me borrow some of your strength, let's lean on each other.
 

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My husband son and daughter are all multiple tour combat veterans. I was always very worried about all of them but also knew that they were very well trained and they were doing the right thing and helping others. This helped me control my anxiety even when my son called me on the phone distraught saying that his five comrades had been killed by an IED and he just missed being in the convoy that day. He received a pass from his co to go to the dentist to have a tooth pulled and that was the only thing that kept him coming home in a body bag. He went back for a second tour of duty and his bravery stunned me. When I get too worried I console myself with the pride that I feel and what these remarkable people have done to serve their country. My pride overwhelms my worries.
 

Ronni said:
My oldest son Corey is a firefighter. He's trained as an EMT and Paramedic, and was just promoted to Captain. He and his family are the ones I'm staying with right now in California.

I am hugely proud of him. I also worry, and it's hard to keep it in check sometimes, especially when I am aware of a specific fire he's fighting, like the recent Southen Cal wildfires that raged back in November 2018. He and his firefighter brothers fought those fires when they first broke out for almost 40 hours straight before they got their first break, and continued to fight them for almost 2 weeks after that with no time off before those first strike teams were recalled and others deployed in their place, rigs from Arizona, Nevada, Oregon. Etc. I was quietly terrified for him. It doesn't even matter that he's 40+ years old, an adult with 4 kids of his own. Makes not a damn bit of difference. THIS IS MY KID AND HE'S IN HARM'S WAY EVERY TIME HE GOES TO WORK. And even more than that, he CHOSE to serve, to put his life on the line, to protect. And while I'm unutterably proud, I also continue to be afraid.

We talked about this last night. He knows how fearful I am for him and how easily that fear threatens to overwhelm me when I think about it (and I'm tearing up right now just talking about it.) I commended him for how much courage he has. He demurred, talked about risk assessment, and judgment, about how it's part of his job to assess risk vs rescue, and that he and his brothers are trained to weigh the potential success of rescue against the fire threat, and that sometimes it's necessary to make that hard call and pull his men and himself back. And that it's not a matter of courage as much as it is training.

Nope. No. I disagree. Yeah, I know I'm biased, completely and absolutely. But I also just can't see it any other way. The mere fact that he chose this path, chose to train as a firefighter and paramedic, and that every day that he's on the job he chooses to fight fire, to run into those burning buildings and out of control wildfires, to witness first hand the devastation to life and bodies and structures that can result from fire, to volunteer at Burn Camps for kids and help teach them how to have fun even without limbs or with scarring over 80% of their little bodies....to me that takes a certain kind of person with a whole lot of courage.

I'm sure I'm not the only one on this forum with a First Responder in the family, or who know one or more, or used to be one. (911 I’m 👀 at you 😉) Please, share your stories and your concerns, let me borrow some of your strength, let's lean on each other.
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Ronni...my husband is a fire commissioner for our local fire dept. Has been for years. He wanted to "give back", and its funny, because he said he'd never become an "elected official", but he is...goes to show you, never say never. They fight for the tax money to get the needed equipment and very few know how hard it is just to keep the guys "suited up" . When dealing with decon situations, most always the suits have to be discarded.

The super duper washing machines only give so many miles to their use and the boys have to undress outside the fire stations - they aren't allowed to even enter the premises with them on. When you live in an area that may have to deal with decon materials on a semi regular basis, its a huge expense. To say nothing of the new pumpers, H &L's , foaming trucks needed, and now they are building another new fire station as minimum response times smust be maintained to save lives. There are so many stories about firefighter bravery - "grace under fire". I often think people just take it for granted the boys are going to come quickly, without giving any thought to what it costs in staffing, dedication and courage to actually run into a burning building hoping to save the lives of humans and pets.

What if they weren't there, think about that. Who would do it?!

God bless
your son!
 
I feel you. I worried every minute my oldest son was deployed. I had nightmares about two soldiers in uniform knocking on my door to tell me he had been whacked.
 
When thinking about how to address someone’s fear that their first responder family member may be harmed every time he/she goes to work and/or puts on his/her uniform is a very difficult task to accomplish, not to mention to also be able to soothe away their fears.

What you really need to keep telling yourself is that first responders are specifically trained for whatever their job is. And, the training does not stop when you begin the job. Training continues throughout one’s career. One of the most important things with training is not just to learn, but also to employ what you have learned. Too many times during my career, I have seen people do something a particular way and when they are either told about it and shown the correct way or have been retrained in the area they are doing incorrectly, and yet when that retraining has been completed, you see them doing the same thing as they did before they received the retraining. Makes absolutely no sense.

But, if a person uses the training as taught and together with the experience they accumulate during their lifetime, together they give the person the knowledge to do the job correctly and allows that person to also stay safe. But, no matter how much training and experience one receives, there will always be risks. It takes a special breed of a person to be a fireman, especially those firemen that fight forest fires and fires in multi story buildings.

It’s like the old joke of two people talking and one of them is a firefighter and the other is not and the firefighter says, “The difference between you and me is that when you see a blazing fire, you run away from it. When I see a blazing fire, I run to it.”

As a first responder, I can tell you very honestly that when we place ourselves in harm’s way, it’s because it’s the only way that we can get the job done A fireman can’t put out a fire or search for victims inside while standing across the street watching the house or building burn. Can you imagine what our lives would be like without firemen? How much would be destroyed by fire during a forest fire, if it wasn’t brought under control or put out? We will probably never know.

You have to convince yourself and have faith in your son that he is using his training, knowledge, experience and ability to do his job in a manner that also allows him to be safe. Experience and knowledge is what gives firemen their wisdom. And, there’s no substitute for that.
 
911 said:
When thinking about how to address someone’s fear that their first responder family member may be harmed every time he/she goes to work and/or puts on his/her uniform is a very difficult task to accomplish, not to mention to also be able to soothe away their fears.

What you really need to keep telling yourself is that first responders are specifically trained for whatever their job is. And, the training does not stop when you begin the job. Training continues throughout one’s career. One of the most important things with training is not just to learn, but also to employ what you have learned. Too many times during my career, I have seen people do something a particular way and when they are either told about it and shown the correct way or have been retrained in the area they are doing incorrectly, and yet when that retraining has been completed, you see them doing the same thing as they did before they received the retraining. Makes absolutely no sense.

But, if a person uses the training as taught and together with the experience they accumulate during their lifetime, together they give the person the knowledge to do the job correctly and allows that person to also stay safe. But, no matter how much training and experience one receives, there will always be risks. It takes a special breed of a person to be a fireman, especially those firemen that fight forest fires and fires in multi story buildings.

It’s like the old joke of two people talking and one of them is a firefighter and the other is not and the firefighter says, “The difference between you and me is that when you see a blazing fire, you run away from it. When I see a blazing fire, I run to it.”

As a first responder, I can tell you very honestly that when we place ourselves in harm’s way, it’s because it’s the only way that we can get the job done A fireman can’t put out a fire or search for victims inside while standing across the street watching the house or building burn. Can you imagine what our lives would be like without firemen? How much would be destroyed by fire during a forest fire, if it wasn’t brought under control or put out? We will probably never know.

You have to convince yourself and have faith in your son that he is using his training, knowledge, experience and ability to do his job in a manner that also allows him to be safe. Experience and knowledge is what gives firemen their wisdom. And, there’s no substitute for that.
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Thank you, so very much, for this. It made me cry, but in a good way.

My son has said similar when reassuring me. Somehow, coming from someone else, another first responder, it lends more weight to the wisdom in the words.

Knowing he’s running towards that fire when every instinct of mine is telling me to run away from it, telling me to tell HIM to run away, is what I find so difficult. Wanting to support him (and I do, 100%) while every particle of me as his Mom is wanting to get between him and danger is my struggle. Going against my own visceral need to protect my child at any cost is my struggle. Standing aside and applauding him while he runs toward the danger is my struggle.

It’s his job. And more then that it’s his calling. I struggle to see beyond the risk because he considers it a privilege to serve.

Did I mention how proud I am of him? 😉💕
 
Liberty said:
Ronni...my husband is a fire commissioner for our local fire dept. Has been for years. He wanted to "give back", and its funny, because he said he'd never become an "elected official", but he is...goes to show you, never say never. They fight for the tax money to get the needed equipment and very few know how hard it is just to keep the guys "suited up" . When dealing with decon situations, most always the suits have to be discarded.

The super duper washing machines only give so many miles to their use and the boys have to undress outside the fire stations - they aren't allowed to even enter the premises with them on. When you live in an area that may have to deal with decon materials on a semi regular basis, its a huge expense. To say nothing of the new pumpers, H &L's , foaming trucks needed, and now they are building another new fire station as minimum response times smust be maintained to save lives. There are so many stories about firefighter bravery - "grace under fire". I often think people just take it for granted the boys are going to come quickly, without giving any thought to what it costs in staffing, dedication and courage to actually run into a burning building hoping to save the lives of humans and pets.

What if they weren't there, think about that. Who would do it?!

God bless
your son!
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Thank you Liberty! And God bless your husband and the boys for their service! 💕
 
How many first responders do you think ran into the World Trade Center on 9/11? Do you think they even thought that the towers may collapse? In all, 343 firemen perished inside those towers.
 
Firefighters have my deep respect. They regularly risk their lives for us all. However, and I assure you that I'm not trying to take anything away from the job they do, the next time you see a tree crew pruning trees in your neighborhood, or taking down a large tree that has become a danger to everyone around it, please consider the following:

Statistically, police and firemen have the 15th most dangerous job in the US, with a fatality rate of 6.2 per 100,000. Tree workers, those who prune trees, have a fatality rate of 18.1 per 100,000, or about three times that of firefighters and police. Loggers, those who take down and process trees in forested areas, have a fatality rate of 132.7 per 100,000, or about twenty-two times the fatality rate of firefighters and police. They have the most dangerous job in the US.

(For all military personnel, the most consistent stat I found was 82 per 100,000.)

I know, from my years in the trees, that they are far more unpredictable than people, and far more dangerous, on average. So, please, remember to thank a tree worker the next time you see a crew working to clear the road you drive, everyday, after a tree has fallen across it. Those workers regularly put their lives on the line for you, too, and they're anywhere from three to twenty-two times more likely, than police and firemen, to die doing their daily job.

(Above statistics compiled in 2017 study.)
 
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Good for him.
I grew up on Long Island and the thought of working with water hoses in the winter was a complete turn off.
We had some training for fire fighting in the Navy, but fortunately never had to use it.
 
When I was married my husband was a lineman for a utility company. As soon as a storm formed in the Gulf they were getting ready to go. As soon as there was a projection they left toward its path. They headed into the storm as cities were being evacuated. Their crews would be the only traffic going the other way. They would work constantly in the wind and flooding trying to restore power ASAP. We would not see them for weeks until power was completely restored. We would be at home without power also but did without as the local crews had been sent to the storm also. They were a tight formed group that knew it was part of the job and they got to know each other quite well during their deployments. Those were long stressful days as we had newborns and older children who saw their dads on tv going one way and miles of people going the other way. They did not understand why their dads were going into the eye of the storms. Is not the same as first responders but to us wives and children it was.
 
Lineman have the 9th most dangerous US job. At 20.5 fatalities per 100,000, they are more than three times more likely to get killed on the job than firemen and police. I thank your ex for his commitment to getting our homes and places of business back up and running.
 
treeguy64 said:
Lineman have the 9th most dangerous US job. At 20.5 fatalities per 100,000, they are more than three times more likely to get killed on the job than firemen and police. I thank your ex for his commitment to getting our homes and places of business back up and running.
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Thank you, treeguy. Yes it is dangerous. There were times we had a couple of friends killed while working and he himself fell once and was out of work for a few months. But the hurricanes were the most stressful. The money was good but I would have rather had him home working. When power is out, everything stops for everyone and it takes time to rectify. When we would be out at home, folks would come by to see if we had power! Of course that was a small town but still people thought if anyone had power, we would. Sorry it does not work like that. If you are out of power, I am too!
 

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