Fostering a relationship with grandchildren who live far away

[Bobw235]

My son married a British citizen and settled in England, where he and his wife have blessed us with two grandchildren. Thus far we've made three trips over to see them; skipping this year was a difficult but prudent decision. We have a long visit planned for next year. How do folks build and maintain a close connection with grandchildren living in another country, or far enough away where visits are few and far between? For us, it's been video chats (Facetime over a Mac/iPad), but it's tough doing that with the time difference. Visits are once a week, and our grandson, now almost three and a half, is often distracted at this age. His sister (one and a half) seems enthralled by the video screen, but is just now starting to get to know us from afar. We've started writing letters to our grandson, but I'd welcome suggestions from others here in similar circumstances.

 

[Debby]

Seems like there are very few suggestions here for you Bob. My grandkids are 7 and 3 but they live only 5.5 hours away from us so we go to see them about four times a year. And neither of them will talk on the phone or FaceTime, they just clam up and become like deaf-mutes. So because the oldest is learning to read, I've started sending little cards to just him and writing so that he can decipher the words (with help of course) and I try to send that and maybe a sheet of whatever his favourites super-hero stickers are at that moment.

It's a hard thing to build a relationship with little kids that are far away. I have very little advice to give on that score. Good luck and enjoy your trip when it comes.

 

[Janis]

The internet can bring anyone close. Connect via email or social network. Find out the areas of interest of the grandchildren and share with them. I would be lost without the internet as my daughter works in Palestine ten months of every year with school children of different ages. With the Israeli postal service blocking all mail from the US, and telephone calls expensive, I am very grateful for the internet.

 

[Ameriscot]

It's very difficult. I'm in Scotland and my granddaughters, aged 4 and 9, live in Michigan. A few times we flew over twice a year, but otherwise it's been annual. Since we retired we can spend a month there every year. We Skype a lot. But this is all we can do. When the oldest one is 12 we've invited her to come over for a month in the summer.

 

[Bobw235]

I appreciate the replies here.  I think they are all spot on; the internet will have to suffice until such time as we're retired and can spend more time there.  We do hope that as they get older we'll be able to bring them to the U.S. for a visit.  We've talked about possibly living over there for part of the year once we stop working.  One idea I'm going to work on is putting together a picture book for them, gathering family photos from their father's side of the family.  They're easy to put together and might help them later on to know where they came from.  We're also considering more frequent visits when we're retired, but it's a costly trip each time.  I think if we plan a visit during the Christmas season, it might help them to associate us with something fun.  In the interim, we'll do the letters and FaceTime chats, but it's frustrating to be so far away.  Our trip over to see them in June can't come soon enough.