Friend seems overly concerned about upcoming surgery

debodun

debodun

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Location
way upstate in New York, USA
A friend of mine has cataract surgery scheduled for next month. She's says she can't sleep and is visibly shaky. To me it seems an over-reaction. I've had it done without any complications and I told her it was a pretty routine procedure these days. I can't seem to allay her fears, though. She does have some other health issues such as hypertension, obesity and borderline diabetes, but I can't see any of these being an issue and I assume her doctor would have mentioned it if they were. Any other advice I can offer to her?
 

debodun said:
A friend of mine has cataract surgery scheduled for next month. She's say she can't sleep and is visibly shaky. To me it seems an over-reaction. I've had it done without any complications and I told her it was a pretty routine procedure these days. I can't seem to allay her fears, though. She does have some other health issues, such as hypertension, obesity and borderline diabetes, but I can't see any of these being an issue and I assume her doctor would have mentioned it if they were. Any other advice I can offer to her?
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I've had it twice, once by surgery and once by Laser. Drove home a 1/2 hour after laser procedure (which took three minutes).
 
Some people are fearful of ANY surgery. About the only thing you can do is remind her you didn’t have a problem, and tell her that her vision will improve.

I’ve had a corneal transplant, surgery to close a retinal hole, and cataract surgery (all over the course of 2 yrs. ) Didn’t have any problems with the surgeries, but the recovery period for the transplant was long – almost a year. (but your friend doesn’t have to deal with that). My vision is better, but still not great. The pain in one eye is gone, minor occassional pain in the other eye. I will most likely need a transplant in the other eye.
 

I agree with Applecruncher, you can only remind her that you didn't have a problem with your surgery. I haven't had any eye surgeries yet, but honestly, I'd be nervous about it too, our sight is so precious, I would worry that something might go wrong, even if the chance was very small.

My mother in law just had one eye done and refused to have the other worked on. She said that her vision was much worse after the operation. This was many years ago, don't even remember if it was laser or not.
 
They have come a long way in eye procedures. This new laser cataract is the greatest. It leaves a small black spot in your vision which is the "ash" of the cataract but it goes away quickly (mine left the second day of the procedure).
 
Glad to hear that these procedures have improved so much, just in case I may need one in the future, it is comforting.
 
I think it's just about sharing that they have made the surgery much, much easier and gentle reassurance that she'll be okay, really everything is going to be fine. It's wonderful she has you as a friend. Just let her share and share as much as she needs...then give her a big hug.
 
I've tried to re-assure her saying millions of people have this procedure done without any mishaps. She only says that millions of people have flown in airplanes safely, but if she got on one, that would be the one to crash. I give up. I can't help her if she insist on being so pessimistic about it.
 
Cataracts now are a piece of cake. I had my last one in 1997, went in in the morning and was home for lunch.

Then a week or so later I went to the DMV and had my glasses taken off my drivers license.
 
Debodun, there probably isn't anything you can say to your friend to stop her from worrying and her being pessimistic about it is only going to make it worse. Sometimes we just have to step back and let people handle things how they choose to. I would hate the thought of anyone doing anything to my eyes but I realize it might come to that sometime. If it happens I hope I'm brave.
 
Linda said:
Debodun, there probably isn't anything you can say to your friend to stop her from worrying and her being pessimistic about it is only going to make it worse. Sometimes we just have to step back and let people handle things how they choose to. I would hate the thought of anyone doing anything to my eyes but I realize it might come to that sometime. If it happens I hope I'm brave.
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I agree with Linda, if your friend is wrapped up in pessimism about the surgery then there is nothing you can do. Maybe it's a cry for attention, or maybe she has a general distrust in doctors and surgeries. I had my first cataract surgery at the young age of 40....then again when I was 44. Our sense of sight is such a precious and delicate thing! And it is scary indeed to think about losing that. For what it's worth, I am quite claustrophobic, and when faced with my surgery I had to constantly talk myself down from the ledge thinking about the surgeon being in such close proximity to my face, as well as the surgical drapes that might be involved. The day of surgery I had to fill out a questionnaire and one of the questions was "are you claustrophobic?". Of course I answered yes. When the anesthesia was administered but before I went lights out, the attending nurse reassured me by saying "Don't worry, there is plenty of air coming in under the drape on your face. You will be able to breathe just fine". It helped. Just offering this as something you could talk to your friend about. Maybe she doesn't even realize that she's claustrophobic.
 
Maybe my friend was correct about her fears. I visited her yesterday (the day after surgery) and she's having a fit - says she can't see out of eye that was operated on. I looked at her eye and all I can see is a big blue iris. The pupil is so contracted, I can barely see it. I told her she should call the ophthalmologist and let him know. She said she had and he is a puzzled as she is and said for her to come in Monday for a follow-up evaluation and that maybe she is having a reaction to the eyedrops, but to keep taking them as prescribed. She has to take Prolensa once a day, ofloxacin 4 times a day and Prednisone 6 times a day. I know this isn't a medical professional message board, but has anyone having cataract surgery had this problem? All I can offer to do for her is drive her to the doctors - I don't think she can see well enough to drive herself.
 
I think what she's experiencing is normal after cataract surgery, but maybe she had unrealistic expectations.....like expecting to see perfectly clearly, immediately. As I remember, it took at least a week after I had my surgery before things started coming into focus..after the swelling had begun to subside. I could see colors (unlike before the surgery when all I saw was a misty grayness), but things were still blurry. It was exciting just to see colors again! Maybe her surgeon didn't explain well enough what she could expect after the surgery. Or maybe she wasn't listening and it is just her overriding pessimism talking. Can she truly see nothing at all...not even colors? I wish your friend the best.
 
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