Friends who are negligent with their health

Katybug

Katybug

Senior Member
Location
Charlotte, NC
I have a dear friend in Tulsa, OK, an English Major, and quite successful in her profession. You would think anyone with her background would take care of themselves. I was shocked to hear a few years ago that she hasn't had a mammogram in 7 years. I can't even imagine skipping one year, but I'm a survivor and know how important early detection is.

I have called her out on this so many times, to no avail. After finding a lump on her own a few weeks ago, her tests show problems in both breasts, and the doctor has all but confirmed she has cancer. If so, a double mastectomy will be done right away. It is all I can do to keep from asking why she put this off so long. Even worse, she is going through hell wondering if it has spread, and won't know 'til after the surgery. I can't relate to her negligence at all.
 

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People who don't take care of their health eventually pay the consequences. I've been keeping a close watch on a neighbor whose nearest relatives are hundreds of miles away. He lived on beer and cigarettes for decades, and spent most of his time in front of the TV....and hit 320 lbs. Then, 4 years ago, he had a stroke, and this past year has been fighting lung cancer. I'm amazed he is still alive, and his relatives have all but given up on trying to convince him to move closer to them, or into a care facility. I expect to go over to his house some day and find him stone cold on the floor.
 
nvtribefan said:
She would probably appreciate some compassion rather than an "I told you so".
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I agree, my daughter had a friend who did the same, for all her mother had breast cancer. When hers was diagnosed she was told it was very aggressive and was given two years, with palliative care she lived three. I think fear of the unknown can make one too afraid to act.

I think what you friend needs now is your love and support.
 
Iam said:
I agree, my daughter had a friend who did the same, for all her mother had breast cancer. When hers was diagnosed she was told it was very aggressive and was given two years, with palliative care she lived three. I think fear of the unknown can make one too afraid to act.

I think what you friend needs now is your love and support.
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She definitely has my love and support. We talk every day.
 
A good friend told me about an acquaintance - highly educated, top of her profession, high salary & full benefits - but refused to see a dentist or doctor. She unknowingly had diabetes, lost three toes, and had to spend time in a rehab center.
:shrug:
 
I have an unrealistic dentist phobia which resulted in loss of all my teeth (some to extraction)
I have found dentures are not all they're cracked up to be,especially the bottoms.
I did take my kids to the dentist religiously and they have near perfect teeth.
I tell the grandkids to brush so their teeth don't come out at night like the stars
 
Sorry to hear.

My neighbor is over the top with her dogs and cats. Gasping $900 a month is her average for the year spend at Vet Office. (no lie) Yet herself has never had a colonoscopy, after my nagging she had a mammogram second in her life at 68, oh the list goes on as she will not to to Doctor. I say to her why would you take the pets to a doctor )vet) if you won't go???
 
GypsyRoadLady said:
Sorry to hear.

My neighbor is over the top with her dogs and cats. Gasping $900 a month is her average for the year spend at Vet Office. (no lie) Yet herself has never had a colonoscopy, after my nagging she had a mammogram second in her life at 68, oh the list goes on as she will not to to Doctor. I say to her why would you take the pets to a doctor )vet) if you won't go???
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I'm sure that I spend more than a thousand in a year on my two pets for vaccinations, exams, dentistry, blood work, etc. That assumes no big problems. My dog and cat have no choice, however, so they don't need to worry about results. I do that.

Fear is what keeps people from having tests and seeking medical attention for the unknown. My mother, an intelligent and educated woman, put off seeing a physician after she found a lump in her breast. She had breast cancer which metastasized and she then had bone cancer. There were no mammograms then. I learned about her doing this after she died when my aunt told me. My mother had told her.

I've sweated blood more than once from worrying about test results for myself, my late wife, and my pets. I never knew about my mother's or father's medical affairs.
 
I can understand not having regular check-ups if a person could not afford it, due to poor or non-existent health insurance.

Thee "white coat" phobia might be a reason for some folks, or maybe some just think that "it couldn't happen to me".

That said, it drives me nuts when people do have good healthcare but don't take advantage of it.
 
I think it's a person's own business what tests to get and what shots or drugs they want to put into their own bodies. As children our parents pushed us to do certain things with medical and dental, as adults it's our choice. I don't get regular xrays or vaccinations, I get them when I choose to and I choose which ones I get.

There are many people that spend a lot of time in doctor's/dentist's offices, take all the recommended drugs and vaccinations, take all the 'preventative' xrays, tests, etc., and those people also get cancers, diabetes and have full sets of dentures.

I would accept advice from a friend and appreciate their concern, but if they started calling me out on my decisions with my own body and health care, they wouldn't be my friend for long.
 
tnthomas said:
I can understand not having regular check-ups if a person could not afford it, due to poor or non-existent health insurance. That said, it drives me nuts when people do have good healthcare but don't take advantage of it.
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I tend to agree. If a person is paying for healthcare...be it Medicare, or Private Insurance, they should take advantage of any free or reduced cost screenings that are offered. We have a Medicare Advantage plan, and they offer several options every year which can help a person maintain good health...or find a problem in its early stages. I'm not a big fan of going to the doctor, but I firmly believe that a person has some responsibility to do their best to try to stay healthy. After all, probably half of our nation's health care costs are caused by people who abuse their bodies....Obesity, Smoking, Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, etc., etc.
 
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