Funerals - Do You Send Flowers?

Jules

Jules

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When someone passes away, do you send flowers or donate to a charity of their choice?

Living in a western province, I notice major differences between the eastern one I grew up. There it was almost a status symbol of have large amounts of flowers.

With some Covid restrictions still active, sometimes flowers can’t even be passed on to other places like seniors homes or hospitals.
 

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Jules said:
When someone passes away, do you send flowers or donate to a charity of their choice?
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I do whatever I think will make the family feel better. If they state a preference for charity I go that way. Kind of been a 50/50 thing for me.

With the flowers sometimes I send them a week or so after, to the home address of the closest family member. Just did that with my aunt after my uncle died. My thinking is that at the funeral people can be overwhelmed with attention, but then it all goes away pretty quickly. A week or so afterwards tends to be a low, with the attention of the funeral and all past and the loss really sinking in.
 
I send flowers less these days and prefer to donate to charity in the deceased persons name. Sometimes I go with flowers if I think there's not likely to be many sent by others.
 
Murrmurr said:
It depends on what side of the family died, Jew or Catholic. No flowers for the Jews. Instead you send money or a shiva gift, like food or candles, or you visit the family during the shiva week. The Catholics, on the other hand, can't get enough of the flowers. And the more expensive they are, the more you loved them. 😜
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Romany gypsies love flowers ...the more the better, and especially if the name of the deceased, his job, his car, his horse, her face.. is spelled out in as many wreaths as possible...

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They spare no expense when it comes to flowers in a Gypsy funeral.. and it's quite a sight to see..
 
I guess I'm cheap, flowers seem to be a waste of money. But donating to the deceased's charity can come back to bite you. A relative died from Alzheimers. I gave a donation to an Alzheimers charity, which sold my info to other charities. Then for the next ten years, my mailbox was filled with requests from every charity known to man. Money may be needed by the family more than donations and flowers
 
Times have certainly changed. I remember when my Grandfather died in 1958 the floral displays filled the living room and surrounded his coffin similar to the photo below. I also remember my Grandfather was the last member of the family to have a home funeral and a professional photographer taking pictures to create an album.

It was common for someone to get on the telephone and start soliciting donations to purchase one large floral basket representing the family an organization or a group of friends.

I remember my grandmother taking a special interest and silently judging who sent which flowers to the various funerals that she attended.

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These days I will sometimes send a small arrangement to the home of someone close to me but it's very rare.
 
We spent over a thousand dollars last year on flowers and another $500 in donations to charities at the family’s request. Three friends died from COVID. We also had a close friend’s grandson that was murdered and still no arrests. My wife had two former university associates die from diseases and I had one former close pilot friend also pass away. Honoring someone at death is important to us and sending flowers or donating is a way of convenience for us to do that.
 
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