Funny Church Bulletins

[Pappy]

1. Church office will be closed Monday. Halleluia. Halleluia.
2. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
3. Mr. Bradford was elected and has accepted the office of head deacon. We could not get a better man.
4. The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge — Up Yours.’
5. A cookbook is being compiled by the ladies of the church. Please submit your favorite recipe, also a short antidote for it.
6. Potluck supper Sunday at 5pm — prayer and medication to follow.
7. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
8. Life groups meet on Wednesday evening at 7:00 PM for food, fun, and fellowwhipping.
9. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
10. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
11. The missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine: Name: Bertha Belch. Announcement: "Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the Way from Africa."
12. Ushers will eat latecomers.
13. 
    
    

 

[CinnamonSugar]

They missed that Southern favorite, All Day Sinning and Dinner on the Grounds. (In case you’re unfamiliar with the concept, it’s All Day *singing* etc

 

[jujube]

"Sunday afternoon there will be a baptism at the river. Two children, two adults and three adultresses will be receiving baptism."

 

[OneEyedDiva]

 

[Ken N Tx]

Meeting for overweight members tonight, use the room with the double doors in the basement..

 

[Pappy]

 

[Ken N Tx]

The ‘Over 60s Choir’ will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.