Get married later in life?

My husband and I met at 18 years old. We got married at 22. We came from a continent apart, but we have been together and happy ever since.
In my 55 plus community, we have quite a few of single people here. They also enjoy their single life and even organized a single club. They do a lot of activities together. Some of them met there and got married, some met and live together, others just enjoy the activities.
A few of my neighbors married late in life. They felt lonely and wanted company for the rest of their life. Some couples are very united, others very independent of each other.
We only live once, so it is important to find our path and live well!
 
We know my uncle was married 4 times. We strongly suspect there was a 5th wife briefly, but couldn't ever prove it.

My great aunt was married 7 times, to 6 husbands (husband #3 was also husband #6). Her first husband was a member of a famous feuding family and she ran off and left him, leaving her two sons for her parents to raise.
 

Been There said:
Here’s the house I chose. I really liked the neighborhood, the people that I spoke with were very cordial. I don’t like the interior colors, the kitchen is a little smaller than I like, but I can live with it and I cut the offer. It doesn’t have a pool, which is a minus for me. I would have one put in.
https://www.realtor.com/realestatea...y-Lakes-Dr_Jacksonville_FL_32259_M69914-35753
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Nice house, but do you need 5 bedrooms? By the way, that's a decent sized kitchen there and a terrific piece of property.
 
jujube said:
I've come late to this thread (I guess I didn't see it the first time around).

When I started dating again after my husband died, I wasn't against the idea of another good marriage. It seemed that the only guys I met who were interested in marriage were interested for the wrong reasons.

I had a relationship with a guy who seemed pretty perfect in most ways; we were together about four months. We had been having discussions about a permanent relationship when he told me that he had only a year or two to live. You could have knocked me down with a feather. Permanent relationship that might last two years at most?

I know that nothing in life is guaranteed....I certainly didn't expect my 60-year-old husband to say "I don't feel good" and be dead two minutes later. BUT, I couldn't see myself going INTO a relationship, knowing that the end will be coming sooner than later. Maybe if I had loved him more, I would have been willing to see him out. Apparently I didn't love him enough. Perhaps that was shallow and unfeeling of me, but having lost one husband three years before, I wasn't going to go into a relationship where I'd be guaranteed to lose another in a year or two. That was the end of the relationship and I saw his death notice just over a year later.

When I met the Spousal Equivalent, he made it very clear that though he wanted a permanent relationship, he wasn't interested in marriage. That was OK with me. So, 13 years later, we're Spousal Equivalents. It works.
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What is a Spousal Equivalent? Something legal?
 
shedevil7953 said:
What is a Spousal Equivalent? Something legal?

No, nothing legal here in our state. Just a term I came up with for "Old Farts cohabitating".

It's hard to know what to call ourselves....."boyfriend" sounds like short-term or "oooh, he's going to ask me to the prom!!!" Partner sounds like a business proposition. Lover, well, .......

We could be POSSLQ'S according to the census bureau (Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters).

"Shacking Up" embarrasses the grandkids (ain't it great?)

Spousal Equivalent means we're essentially married except that we aren't.
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met at 15, engaged at 18, married at 20, widowed at 51. I put everything into my marriage, I do not have anything left to give to another. It has never crossed my mind, I never thought about dating, finding someone else. To many that would sound sad. It is not sad it is just me. I am just trying to hold on to the little bit of self I have left. I am tired, I spent so many years as a caregiver to others, I find I can barely take care of myself. There is just no energy, nothing left emotionally to have a relationship. It is not a bad thing, I had a very good life, I will spend it alone but I do not feel bad about it. I had it all, now, I have been doing my best to adapt to my life. When you really look at it, we are here for a short period of time. It can be nice to have the time to appreciate what you did have and reflect on all of that time. I think too many people do not take the time to realize all that they have accomplished in this little time we have on earth. I am grateful, now that I am on the downhill side of the mountain, I can truly be thankful for the past and hope this phase of life will be gentle.
 
Blessed said:
met at 15, engaged at 18, married at 20, widowed at 51. I put everything into my marriage, I do not have anything left to give to another. It has never crossed my mind, I never thought about dating, finding someone else. To many that would sound sad. It is not sad it is just me. I am just trying to hold on to the little bit of self I have left. I am tired, I spent so many years as a caregiver to others, I find I can barely take care of myself. There is just no energy, nothing left emotionally to have a relationship. It is not a bad thing, I had a very good life, I will spend it alone but I do not feel bad about it. I had it all, now, I have been doing my best to adapt to my life. When you really look at it, we are here for a short period of time. It can be nice to have the time to appreciate what you did have and reflect on all of that time. I think too many people do not take the time to realize all that they have accomplished in this little time we have on earth. I am grateful, now that I am on the downhill side of the mountain, I can truly be thankful for the past and hope this phase of life will be gentle.
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I do not have to post because you said it all for me and you said it so well, thank you
 
Rose65 said:
Peace in old age is valuable. Also, best not to risk yourself financially in old age.
Better to have a quiet life with freedom and nice friends than tied to someone who has the power to make you miserable.
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IMHO people who can't live alone can't live with a spouse.
 

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