Giving Cash as a Gift. Is it Vulgar?

horseless carriage

horseless carriage

Well-known Member
When you reach old age gift buying gets more and more difficult. When I was a small boy I remember that birthday cards from relatives like aunts & uncles and especially grandparents, would have a ten shilling note enclosed. Paternal grandmother even sent a pound note, I loved it, I could buy whatever I want.

Nowadays I am the avuncular uncle, and, although I am not a parent, I do have some wonderful God-children that I so enjoy spoiling, always with a cash gift.

The retail industry and those with a vested interest have, over the decades, demonised giving cash as being thoughtless, lazy and vulgar. None of that bothered me when I was the recipient and it doesn't seem to bother those God-children either.

When giving cash I do put some thought into it though. For example, buying my wife a wedding anniversary gift, I will find a suitable loving type card, there might be a suitable rude or jocular card which I would add to the loving one. There will be a box of her favourite chocolates, an expensive bouquet of flowers and on her card as well as a loving message I will write on the jocular one. "You will find that these vouchers can be redeemed at any outlet, enjoy and show me your purchase, as and when." My wife is frank, she would tell me if she thought it heartless just to stuff a few bank notes in an envelope.

What are your thoughts, is giving cash vulgar?
 

There is a difference though, between giving a partner a card with cash and giving them chocolates and flowers with it as, the card and cash combo is impersonal but adding the other gifts makes it personal. Does your wife prefer to shop without you? If not, perhaps lunch and your company on the shopping trip might also be nice :)

When the trend for wedding presents shifted from a gift list to a request for cash, I thought that was cheeky but, now, I can see the sense of it.

So, is it vulgar? It probably is but, these days, I am sure a cash gift is much more appreciated than a gift which they didn't particularly want or like. :)
 

If you'd know how many gifts that we had received came into the trash bin after a short time you'd agree with us that cash is the only reasonable gift. I don't find it vulgar at all. Even decades ago most of our relatives demanded cash for their wedding.
 
I don't think giving cash is vulgar and I don't think anyone I know would think so. I remember back in the day, besides putting cash in birthday cards, where I come from, people put cash in sympathy cards as well. These days, for birthday and thank you presents, many appreciate a thoughtful gift card. My BFF, who comes to New Jersey a couple of times a year and my son's GF each refuse to let me pay for lunches and dinners, etc. It makes me crazy because sometimes I want to treat.

One separate occasions when they were not with me at the same time, they've even managed to circumvent my instructions to the waitresses not to accept payment from them! So I got generous gift cards for each of them for their favorite supermarkets. Just ordered my BFF's yesterday; it will be sent directly to her. Everyone has to eat, right?

I've told all my loved ones...don't buy me anything for my birthday. Take me someplace and spend time with me. At my age, I value that more than anything. And they know I don't need money.
 
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Not vulgar at all... maybe a few decades ago, it would have been considered that, but now I think most people prefer cash or a gift card than something (like @George1959 mentioned) that would be unappreciated, tossed, or regifted. (I'll add though, that for a spouse/partner, etc. it would be better to ask what special gift or experience they'd like instead of the cash.)
 
I gift a lot (large family). Almost all of the gifts for special occasions are cash or gift cards (from places where I know they will be used). I'm sitting here trying to think of non cash or gift card gifts I've sent, but I can't think of any.

I have sent gifts for "no particular reason" and they tend to be relatively low value concert DVDs, books, or the like.
 
No, I don't think it's vulgar to give money, especially if it's for someone you don't know very well.

This is a very timely question for me since it's "grad" time and I have gotten several invites to graduation parties. I have many great nieces and nephews graduating high school and I will give every one of them cash in a card because I simply don't know them. And I think they will be very happy to spend it on themselves for whatever they want.
 
Uptosnuff said:
This is a very timely question for me since it's "grad" time and I have gotten several invites to graduation parties. I have many great nieces and nephews graduating high school and I will give every one of them cash in a card because I simply don't know them.
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Cash is a perfect grad gift... and it was back in the mid 70s when I graduated, too. I loved opening those cards to see money fluttering out of the bottom. I don't think I would have been too happy with actual gifts. :giggle:
 
If I gift something, it will be cash. Except for one friend who wants a present. She enjoys giving and receiving.

Just thought of an exception. SIL made a comment about wanting the Yellowstone Cookbook. Amazon had it on sale so I sent it to their address. BTW, DD said the recipes are very good.
 
I've avoided it generally with anyone but my kids. When they were younger it was certainly appreciated. Now they're older and the gifts are far more substantial but staggered among them. By now they know what to expect without any sense of entitlement or disappointment, realizing it is driven by practical considerations like investment performance and tax considerations. They are always appreciative of a nice check that has no tax implications for them, expressing quiet gratitude on their faces and not making anyone uncomfortable. I tend to be an open book and even-handed in most aspects of my life and I think that's something I've passed on. It does seem to defuse petty jealousies or competition.

Of course I supplement that with far smaller gifts that I try to personalize in terms of novelty and the interests of each recipient. Consumables are preferable to clutter, but my boys' SOs will often receive something like a nice scarf or afghan or a unique slide pendent they can use with an existing chain or rope. The challenge there is choosing appropriate colors for each person.
 
Nathan said:
I would rather receive a cash gift rather than a gift card, which is only redeemable from a business I may not deal with.
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DITTO !!!!!!!!!!! Anyone here think cash is vulgar you can make a contribution to me. Cash always accepted here. Seriously I did receive a cash gift on my b'day a few weeks ago and I was not offended by it all. In fact, I really enjoyed it! Cash is great for yard sales and lottery tickets and I enjoy both. :giggle:
 
On the subject of gift cards, I usually get a couple Mastercard or Visa gift cards a year. In some situations, they can really be a pain to use. A gift card from a store/restaurant that the recipient patronizes always works!
 
Times have changed and etiquette along with it. I agree with the majority that cash is an acceptable - often welcomed - gift these days.

The only gift card I now give is Amazon, as everybody I know is a Prime member and we all use Amazon heavily. It also can be used at Whole Foods, which is a treat for certain of our friends who are each on limited budgets and for whom WF is a gratifying (and useful) splurge from bargain hunting.

I do give cash, but these days it's so much easier to use Zelle to send it - and also safer than mailing checks. Not all banks are set up on it, however, so one has to ask first. Most allow Zelle but smaller banks and some CUs, as well as on-line banks, don't accept Zelle.

For people with kids, I use Zelle to send money for the 529 account(s) on BDs and Xmas. Parents LOVE it!

I make sure to always send either an e-card or a physical card for BDs, as well.
 
Knight said:
Giving cash isn't vulgar. Cash for most is the right size, color & useful. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone that returned a cash gift.
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My sentiment entirely, and it's what I told an impertinent relative who had chastised me about giving cash.
Thank you to everyone who has posted, the general consensus is cash is king. The one time that we have given a gift was for a wedding present, but then the bride & groom had a wish list. Lots of sensible things, I remember we bought them a canteen of cutlery. However, as the groom was my favourite Godson I put a couple of bank notes in the envelope of their wedding card. On the night of their wedding a text came through, it read; "We loved the cutlery and that money we found in our card has just paid for the champagne that we are enjoying." He ended with a thanks and love from both of them.
 

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