Good friends and close friends

V

Victor

Senior Member
Location
midwest USA
Seems to me that a good friend is not always a close friend

and a close friend is not always a good one. Depending what we
mean by "good". It is hard to find both, especially at our ages.
We settle for the ones we've got. If you want to maintain a good friendship,
you should meet at least once a year, if possible, minimally anyway.

I have a friend for a very long time who is close in that I tell him some things
I would not tell other people but still keep some issues to myself.
He does not confide much to me. We talk a lot on the phone but rarely
or never get together nowadays. He is not as busy he claims to be--
he always has excuses so I gave up.

People like to think they have good friends but you don't really know until they are tested
in difficult situations.
What do ya say?
 

I have a few casual acquaintances and only one close friend that lives in another state.

For me a close friend is someone that I'm compatible with, that knows how to keep a confidence, that would let me sleep on the couch or make me a substantial loan without too many questions.

IMO the word friend is over used in today's social media world.
 
In my mind, they're one and the same. I could not feel close to friend who wasn't a good friend.

Some friends are less than good, but I can enjoy what's good about them; just not feel close to them.

Also, friendships change and evolve as people often do.
 

I have one very good friend that I've know since the first year of high school. I know everything about her and she knows everything about me. We visited often. Sadly she is in a nursing home now but I still am able to visit her.

I have friends I see a couple of times a year.

Then I have Facebook friends who are people I know well but we don't get together.

I even have letter friends. These friends have moved to other states and we know we won't be seeing each other in person again. We enjoy letter writing and it is satisfying to put our thoughts on paper now and then.
 
I have one very close friend who I have known for over 60 years; we keep in touch by phone and get
together several times a year(in fact we had lunch together to-day). I have made several friends here
at the residence and we enjoy each others company and do things together, but it is not the same as
some one who you have shared a life time with.
 
If a close friend is not a good friend than it's not a close friend. And, yes, time tells about who is really your friend or not. I am happy to have four close friends from the time of high school and a bit later from work. There's got to be a compatibility which can not really be described, only lived.
 
I have a few people whom I consider both good and close friends male and female. I could sleep on any of their couches in a pinch. Some I see yearly, two I only communicate with on the phone these days. I at one time or another lived in the same local, but either I or they have relocated at some point. My friends I had from 30 or more years, I do tend to see at least once a year.

If I were to go by the OP's definition, than I could say other than those I consider good/close friends, I guess I have a lot of just good friends too who I get together with more frequently, but really, I just classify them as buddies, friends, pals whom I go out with and enjoy various functions. If I stay put long enough, one or two might even become close friends in time. :)
 
Sounds like semantics to a point, but I can understand that there may be a difference. I have some friends that I would classify as “good” friends, but there are several things that go on in my life that I would not share with them. I do have only one very close friend that I would share most anything with. I can’t say for certain what I wouldn’t share everything with him, but I’m sure there is something.
 
We have neighbours we are close friends with, as well as close friends who would be there at the drop of a hat for us if we needed them for anything, we have been friends for over 40 years and never had a cross word
However it’s very hard when we start loosing our close friends
I smile when people say they have so many “friends” on internet sites like Facebook ect but if they actually met in person would they be friends? who’d be there if you needed them
 
Victor said:
Seems to me that a good friend is not always a close friend

and a close friend is not always a good one. Depending what we
mean by "good". It is hard to find both, especially at our ages.
We settle for the ones we've got. If you want to maintain a good friendship,
you should meet at least once a year, if possible, minimally anyway.


People like to think they have good friends but you don't really know until they are tested
in difficult situations.
What do ya say?
Click to expand...

I'd argue with this, but don't care to

I have very few friends
I like it that way
They’re both, close and good

Many, many acquaintances
 
To clarify, I have a friend to knows me very well and I know him but we have not met in almost 2 years
partly because he has no car and it is inconvenient and also his wife is against it, I think. She rules their
marriage and has last say. So I would not call that good. Plus there is little we would do together anyway
because they are homebodies that do not want to go anywhere, except in their lousy neighborhood. Also he rarely answers the phone when I call.
He always calls me back when it is convenient for him, then he talks a long time. I dont like this and told him so many times.
And he makes excuses why he doesn't answer: I didn't get the message, yeah sure...
Most people would stop calling but he has interesting conversation and is very smart.
That's why I say--close but not "good". I live alone so this matters to me a lot.
 
I have 4 good friends, 1 is a neighbor ( fishing partner ) the other 3 are out of state, but we talk on the phone and FB..
 
Victor said:
To clarify, I have a friend to knows me very well and I know him but we have not met in almost 2 years
partly because he has no car and it is inconvenient and also his wife is against it, I think. She rules their
marriage and has last say. So I would not call that good. Plus there is little we would do together anyway
because they are homebodies that do not want to go anywhere, except in their lousy neighborhood. Also he rarely answers the phone when I call.
He always calls me back when it is convenient for him, then he talks a long time. I dont like this and told him so many times.
And he makes excuses why he doesn't answer: I didn't get the message, yeah sure...
Most people would stop calling but he has interesting conversation and is very smart.
That's why I say--close but not "good". I live alone so this matters to me a lot.
Click to expand...

Doesn't appear to be a good, close, or even a casual friend

barely an acquaintance

Just my opine
 
In reading these posts, I guess I only have three real friends. First is my wife. Second is a man I met six years ago who I keep in touch with through emails almost daily and we get together for an afternoon over beer about once a month. A few times a year we'll meet for lunch with our wives along. Third is a younger woman, not what you're thinking, that I worked with before I retired. Everyone, including her and my wife, says she's my girlfriend. She's gorgeous so I sure don't mind.

We had good friends when we were younger and lived in Oklahoma. I was 40 and my wife 35 when we moved here to Florida 30 years ago. It's interesting how it was easier to make great friends when you're younger. I guess we just put more criteria into what we expect when we get older.
 

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