Gratitude in the midst of $hlt

Mr. Ed

Mr. Ed

Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
Location
Central NY
It is not uncommon in life someone will say as encouragement to be grateful for what you have. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through or what you are going through, be grateful as a warning things could be worse.

whoever invented this tactic of gratitude is full of $hlt because life is hard and the inability to express what we feel is unhealthy. Suck it up buttercup and be grateful for whatever shit-show you are going through. Do not complain, keep quiet, no one will help you, be grateful.
 

Why focus on the negative? Mr. Ed your reasoning seems right when you type this.
Quote
"whoever invented this tactic of gratitude is full of $hlt because life is hard and the inability to express what we feel is unhealthy. "

But that is kind of narrow since it compares to nothing. So I'd like to offer you a comparison.

As you sit in a warm home, well fed, well clothed with access to health care typing your thoughts. You probably don't think about what your life would be like if you were born and live here.

It's all a personal choice about how we as individuals view life.
 
I can understand where @Mr. Ed is coming from because sometimes a person feels so bad that counting blessings is just not helpful.

However, there are times when remembering what I have, especially in comparison to some others, is enough to shift my perspective and lift my spirits a bit. (Which sounds a bit goulish, now I think about it. :? )

I think it's situational.
 
Mr. Ed said:
It is not uncommon in life someone will say as encouragement to be grateful for what you have. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through or what you are going through, be grateful as a warning things could be worse.

whoever invented this tactic of gratitude is full of $hlt because life is hard and the inability to express what we feel is unhealthy. Suck it up buttercup and be grateful for whatever shit-show you are going through. Do not complain, keep quiet, no one will help you, be grateful.
Click to expand...
I feel the same on very bad days. It's an insult. I feel like kicking someone when they do this. It's better to commiserate with someone who is suffering or help if you can.
 
I just mean Mr. Ed needs to be able to vent his frustrations liberally and selfishly, but without harming others in the process.
I am sure he knows others are suffering more than he is at any given time but that does not lessen his pain right this moment.
Let it out Mr Ed.
 
Knight said:
Why focus on the negative? Mr. Ed your reasoning seems right when you type this.
Quote
"whoever invented this tactic of gratitude is full of $hlt because life is hard and the inability to express what we feel is unhealthy. "

But that is kind of narrow since it compares to nothing. So I'd like to offer you a comparison.

As you sit in a warm home, well fed, well clothed with access to health care typing your thoughts. You probably don't think about what your life would be like if you were born and live here.

It's all a personal choice about how we as individuals view life.
Click to expand...
When someone is already feeling bad, why try to make it worse by making them feel bad for feeling bad?
 
oldaunt said:
When someone is already feeling bad, why try to make it worse by making them feel bad for feeling bad?
Click to expand...
I sincerely doubt anyone is trying to make a person that is feeling bad feel worse. One person could view it as detrimental another as trying to be helpful & positive. I don't think there is a one approach that fits all.

It's situational what is shlt for one could be a minor annoyance for another.
 
Last edited:
My point is I have no gratitude for life, although society, religion faith would have you to accept life with the threat of it being worse. it’s like bend over and agree because it is expected of you.
 
Mr. Ed said:
It is not uncommon in life someone will say as encouragement to be grateful for what you have. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through or what you are going through, be grateful as a warning things could be worse.

whoever invented this tactic of gratitude is full of $hlt because life is hard and the inability to express what we feel is unhealthy. Suck it up buttercup and be grateful for whatever shit-show you are going through. Do not complain, keep quiet, no one will help you, be grateful.
Click to expand...
I think that people trying to "cheer up" someone that is in the midst of some adversity is becoming passé, interpersonal relations have become better understood in recent years, and the old Suck it up buttercup mentality is fading into the past. There are of course dinosaurs still roaming amongst us, I don't pay them much attention.
 
My life has not been the easiest. I've put up with a lot. But when I get really down, I have to remind myself I was born in a free industrialized country. It could have been worse. I don't have to worry about a lot of things, like being hauled away because I criticized the government etc.. There are things I do worry about.

Doesn't mean life is always easy. There is a lot of isolation and things for people to endure.
 
Nathan said:
I think that people trying to "cheer up" someone that is in the midst of some adversity is becoming passé, interpersonal relations have become better understood in recent years, and the old Suck it up buttercup mentality is fading into the past. There are of course dinosaurs still roaming amongst us, I don't pay them much attention.
Click to expand...

When I’m depressed I tend to keep it to myself. And when I mean depressed I don’t mean upset about things not going to plan. I mean something far more significant. Debilitating at times. Or perhaps I might be on 'auto pilot'?

I say “I keep it to myself”; it’s pretty obvious to some around me what state I might be in at a particular time. They might see it and then just asked how I am. I might not answer them, but then again I might not have to, because they can see my answer on my face.

They know not to delve too deeply, because they know this is something that mostly I will keep to myself anyway. They know, rightly or wrongly on my part, this is something I will only deal with internally, because that’s me, that’s what I do in general, without any outside help. They respect me for that, but I know they will keep an eye on me.

Sometimes the most right thing to say to someone can also be the most wrong thing to say, it depends very much on the person and the circumstances.

Sometimes saying nothing or very little to the person who is depressed is the best way, depending on those circumstances. Sometimes then the person wanting to help is then left with nothing to do, other than the ability to just listen.

Thankfully, no one even needs to just listen to me these day.
 
Last edited:
Mr. Ed said:
Do not complain, keep quiet, no one will help you, be grateful.
Click to expand...
Yes, like the famous poem (I'll paste below). It is rough. Support groups can be helpful because then a person is with others who really do understand and share the pain, and help motivate each other kindly.

Solitude​

BY ELLA WHEELER WILCOX
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air;
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go;
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all,—
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life’s gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a large and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.
 
Magna-Carta said:
Sometimes the most right thing to say to someone can also be the most wrong thing to say, it depends very much on the person and the circumstances.
Click to expand...

Magna-Carta said:
Sometimes saying nothing or very little to the person who is depressed is the best way, depending on those circumstances. Sometimes then the person wanting to help is then left with nothing to do, other than the ability to just listen.
Click to expand...

...both so very true. In the years before my daughter passed we would talk on the phone often, she had anxiety and some depression from what I would label as situational aspects of her live. She often drank, and often drank alot. It was hard to listen to her on the phone, but I felt like listening was the best thing I could do...and perhaps the only thing within my power.
 
If you want to have long satisfying life, be positive and not negative no matter what. It helps. I am thanking God every day for all the good things I have and try to shrug off everything else. Look at a glass as half full and not as half empty. Germans have a nice saying, "if Mist, dann Optimist." Difficult to translate but roughly, if it's a mess, then opti[mess] It's you attitude that decides whether you feel good or bad.

The late Rev. Schuller, founder of the Crystal Cathedral (now Christ Cathedral) in Garden Grove near Los Angeles influenced me with "words of wisdom" like:
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
God loves you, and so do I.
What you are is God's gift to you; what you make of yourself is your gift to him.
 
Last edited:
Not long ago there was a thread about character. It asked if there was one characteristic that you would like to have what would it be. I said that the buddhists believe that gratitude should be a characteristic most sought after since things can always be worse.

While this is certainly true doesn’t mean it’s a possible trait to have each and everyday for all humans. If suffering is intolerable, then gratitude isn’t the first thing to enter the mind nor should it be expected.

Ive been in states where I couldn’t care the least about gratitude. Once I start to get better it is something I strive for though. Today I had many things to be grateful for.
For a long time it was impossible to feel this.
 
Nathan said:
...both so very true. In the years before my daughter passed we would talk on the phone often, she had anxiety and some depression from what I would label as situational aspects of her live. She often drank, and often drank alot. It was hard to listen to her on the phone, but I felt like listening was the best thing I could do...and perhaps the only thing within my power.
Click to expand...
I’m so sorry for your loss.
 
I have always thought there are two kinds of people.... those who wake up happy and go through the day that way unless something happens to change that. Then there's the other kind. They wake up grumpy and something good better happen pretty damn quick to pick them up or they are gonna demonstrate their grumpiness alllllll day. I was blessed to be born as the first. I married the second kind. Luckily he is still working part time so he leaves the house three days a week. On his home days its a challenge. I also realized there are two kinds of people....problem wallowers and solution finders.....yup...he's a wallower!
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top