Have You Ever Felt Overwhelmed?

Ruthanne

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
I have somewhat lately by social media, especially stuff on FB and a dating site. I am in a few FB groups and I shut off notifications and am unfollowing for awhile so I can get myself back to "normal."

Have you felt overwhelmed and by what, if I may ask?;):coffee:⚡☃ And what do you do to get over that, if anything?🌪🌈🌝
 

I've been feeling very overwhelmed lately. It's only been a few weeks since my nephew passed away. It broke my heart and I haven't been able to overcome the pain. I just got off the phone with my sister and we both were crying. I really don't no how to handle heartbreak other then to just try to look at positive things. I have to admit that coming into the forum takes my mind to a better place,but nothing ever takes pain away,or worrying.
 
Sometimes we need outside help like grief counseling. I got it through a hospital. Group counseling is great, as it helps one to see they aren't the only one feeling hopeless/helpless. One thing that saddened me, was the number of young people there.

I went because of the difficulties of an extremely dysfunctional 2nd marriage.
 

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Sassycakes said:
I've been feeling very overwhelmed lately. It's only been a few weeks since my nephew passed away. It broke my heart and I haven't been able to overcome the pain. I just got off the phone with my sister and we both were crying. I really don't no how to handle heartbreak other then to just try to look at positive things. I have to admit that coming into the forum takes my mind to a better place,but nothing ever takes pain away,or worrying.
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i am so sorry....i am feeling a similar pain...we'll get thru it...somehow...but can't think of the how.
 
Good for you Ruthanne, I’ve never been on Dating site’s, Facebook, Twitter etc. I know many people are closing their accounts and walking away from it

Life is hard enough without some of the nasty comments, trolls etc. I’ve heard about on those sites, nobody needs that rubbish
 
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I've never been on a dating site.

My FB is just for a few friends and far way cousins, only for brief messages, something funny, etc.
I did join an Italian Food group and an Art Nouveau group, but I just look.

Therefore, I imagine I would do just as you did, @Ruthanne; just walk away. But I do understand that these sites mean a lot more for you so it's tough.

Power through girl, it will cool down soon.
 
Sassycakes said:
I've been feeling very overwhelmed lately. It's only been a few weeks since my nephew passed away. It broke my heart and I haven't been able to overcome the pain. I just got off the phone with my sister and we both were crying. I really don't no how to handle heartbreak other then to just try to look at positive things. I have to admit that coming into the forum takes my mind to a better place,but nothing ever takes pain away,or worrying.
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I think losing a love one is the hardest thing we will ever have to face. Everyone says it takes time, but how much time can a person take. Finding this forum has been a great help to me.
 
I have a habit of trying to fit to much into one day. I write lists I can't possibly accomplish in a days time. This leads to a feeling of being overwhelmed.Some of these things on my to do list are trivial or can be done at anytime.
What I try to do is look at the list at the end of the day and ask myself how important is this stuff?
More often than not I eliminate items which calms me down.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
I have a habit of trying to fit to much into one day. I write lists I can't possibly accomplish in a days time. This leads to a feeling of being overwhelmed.Some of these things on my to do list are trivial or can be done at anytime.
What I try to do is look at the list at the end of the day and ask myself how important is this stuff?
More often than not I eliminate items which calms me down.
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I would suggest that the mere act of getting these things on a To Do list where they will not be forgotten should bring some sense of relief for you.

I once relieved the Commanding Officer of a overseas station. The outgoing Skipper had a "to do" list with items from A to KKK. Apparently every weekly staff meeting included a progress review of each individual item. He was frustrated that he couldn't see much progress.

At my first staff meeting I told the Officers and Chiefs to narrow that list down to 8 important items by the next meeting and I would keep the rest of the list myself. The smiles around the table were pretty obvious. People can only deal with a reasonable number of issues.

Nowdays, I give myself one or two projects to work every day on beyond normal household and yard chores. This enables me to actually focus on something and bring it through to completion.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
I have a habit of trying to fit to much into one day. I write lists I can't possibly accomplish in a days time. This leads to a feeling of being overwhelmed.Some of these things on my to do list are trivial or can be done at anytime.
What I try to do is look at the list at the end of the day and ask myself how important is this stuff?
More often than not I eliminate items which calms me down.
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Ruth, I suggest stop making lists. I realized I was often setting myself up for failure when I made lists.

We know what needs to be done. Lists can drive us crazy. 🌹
 
Do you know what it's like to no longer want to function? When my husband died unexpectantly and in my arms, I was a basket case! I had to force myself to get out of bed, shower, eat. I had no friends because he was my whole world. It took a long, long time to get normal again. I was completely alone and many people cheated me, stole things from my yard, grossly overcharged me; really took advantage of my mourning.
I could have used a discussion group to vent at that time. I found to just "fake it til you make it" helped. Pretend everything is all right. Try not to break down and cry in public. Act like you're not breaking into a thousand little pieces.
 
Gaer said:
Do you know what it's like to no longer want to function? When my husband died unexpectantly and in my arms, I was a basket case! I had to force myself to get out of bed, shower, eat. I had no friends because he was my whole world. It took a long, long time to get normal again. I was completely alone and many people cheated me, stole things from my yard, grossly overcharged me; really took advantage of my mourning.
I could have used a discussion group to vent at that time. I found to just "fake it til you make it" helped. Pretend everything is all right. Try not to break down and cry in public. Act like you're not breaking into a thousand little pieces.
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Gaer, you are in a safe place here among friends.
 
Sure I feel overwhelmed at times. Life is like that and I think that's why sleeping is one of my favorite passtimes. Some feel like I'm trying to escape or something, but it's more like a healing process. When you sleep, the body and mind heal. During stressful overwhelming times, this is a great restorative and can make you feel better physically as well and function better emotionally. We all need a time out occasionally.
 
I have always separated those feelings of being overwhelmed into two categories...acute overwhelm and chronic overwhelm. I've experienced both.

The acute overwhelm is when I set myself too many tasks to do in any given time period. It might be a weekend, or a series of projects that I need to get done in a month, or trying to wrap up a bunch of stuff in an afternoon, whether at home, running errands, whatever. Just too much to do and too little time in which to do it. That kind of acute overwhelm is so much easier to deal with for me than the other kind. I can just make a new to-do list for the next day, weekend, afternoon or whatever.

The chronic overwhelm is different. And much harder for me to get beyond. It's when life is just too much. It's not any one thing, it's everything all at once all the time, and no way that i can see to make it better, at least not in the short term. It's when I've taken on too much, have made too many commitments or have too many obligations and can't meet them all AS WELL AS have some semblance of down time or relaxation, or even a personal life if I've overcommitted at work or with social engagements.

All I can do at that point is to just keep slogging through. If I can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel, now matter how far away that light is, I can usually manage to just keep putting one foot in front of the other until I get through the worst of it.

The worst for me was during my marriage, my husband wasn't working, refused to work, and I was working 6 and sometimes 7 days a week just to keep food on the table and the lights on. I also had young children. I was also trying to keep up with all the housework, all the cooking, all the laundry, the shopping etc., and I was completely overwhelmed, because I just couldn't see an end in sight. That wasn't the worst time in my life, but it sure was one of them.
 
Ruthanne said:
I have somewhat lately by social media, especially stuff on FB and a dating site. I am in a few FB groups and I shut off notifications and am unfollowing for awhile so I can get myself back to "normal."
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Ruthanne, I've never had the 'pleasure' of fb, twitter or dating sites, but from all I've heard and the little I've seen, there's a lot of negativity...something you, I and all of us can do without.

Please just keep in mind that those people don't know you. When they talk to you, they don't look at your face, hear your voice or feel your emotions. For some people, it's easy to be nasty hiding behind a keyboard. I think most of those people are really messed up themselves, perhaps jealous, angry, frustrated, etc. What better way than to be a 'keyboard' warrior and take it out on other people, get in their digs, hurt feeling. They may feel satisfaction in some sick way in the moment, but I think when they walk away and think about what they've said, they feel even worse about themselves.

I couldn't deal with that, I'd have to take a break and force myself to get out, chat with someone in a park, sit and talk with a neighbor, do anything positive in the real world and connect with real people. It's great here, everyone is caring and nice to communicate with, but social media doesn't seem to be the same.

I was more overwhelmed during my working days, long days, short nights, lots of errands and obligations. When my husband's parents spent their last years living in our home with us, one bedridden, half paralyzed and helpless and the other not much better, it was overwhelming . We were both still working, staggered shifts made it work for us so one of us could be home to care for them. The love makes you keep going, but the stress catches up with you. That was many years ago though, although sometimes it seems like yesterday.

My motto is to avoid negative personalities, they are toxic and affect your mood whether you want it or not. Life is too short for that nonsense. Love yourself and take a break, you deserve it....hugs. 🧡
 
Dating sites: Never used one (much too old) but I ran into a friend I hadn't seen for a few years and we went to lunch. She told me she had been on this dating site and met a man. She thought she was falling in love with him. showed me his picture. Nice looking but had his shirt unbuttoned to his waist and covered with gold chains. He called her. She thought he was going to ask her out again but instead he told her he had taken some comprising photos of her and wanted $1000. or he would put them all over the internet.
(Didn't the gold chains set off a little red light?) It's not over yet! She is still talking to him, still negotiating payment! Last I heard, they were settling on $750.00! Is this STUPID???
 
Gaer said:
Dating sites: Never used one (much too old) but I ran into a friend I hadn't seen for a few years and we went to lunch. She told me she had been on this dating site and met a man. She thought she was falling in love with him. showed me his picture. Nice looking but had his shirt unbuttoned to his waist and covered with gold chains. He called her. She thought he was going to ask her out again but instead he told her he had taken some comprising photos of her and wanted $1000. or he would put them all over the internet.
(Didn't the gold chains set off a little red light?) It's not over yet! She is still talking to him, still negotiating payment! Last I heard, they were settling on $750.00! Is this STUPID???
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Instead of bargaining with him, she needs to turn him in to the dating site and turn him over to the police. Stop this nonsense right now!!! According to the FTC, romance scams cost people $143 million in 2018 alone.

My aunt got scammed out of her life's savings by some stupid con (not from a dating site). Her kids only found out when the bank called them and asked why she drained her account. They ended up having to get the FBI involved.

Tell your friend to call the police post haste.
 


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