Holy, Moley, We can't seem to live within our means!

Uptosnuff

Uptosnuff

Member
Location
Great Plains, USA
My husband, my daughter and I are living in our house. A couple of months ago, my husband lost his job so we are now living on my income. Both my husband and I thought we would be fine with the income, but I am surprised at how hard it has been. We end up going into the overdraft right before every paycheck. Yikes! I earn a decent salary, not great but decent, and we have our mortgage paid off, so no worries with that. I think the first thing I need to do is go over our checking account statements and see where we are falling down.

Any suggestions on how to keep within our means? I thought I was a pretty good economizer, but maybe not as good as I thought. It makes me wonder how I'm ever going to retire.
 

If you earn a decent salary and have no mortgage/rent, are your taxes killing you? Does daughter support herself and kick in some to the household? Medical bills can be dreadful if under-insured. I wish I knew what to suggest.

I hope something works out for you. :love_heart:
 
Sit down and make a budget immediately only way to go, have been using a budget for 57 yrs, married tomorrow and never had money difficulties.
 

Write down every penny you spend each day and review the information to see where the money is going.

It sounds like a big hassle but I've been doing it for many years and it only takes a minute or two.

Once you know where the money is going start plugging the leaks and start letting go of the things that are not important to you.

The whole idea is to seek the minimum when you start to feel the pinch back off a little.

Don't become a miser, spend your money on the things that are important to you and let go of the things that are not important to you.

"Economy is a distributive virtue, and consists not in saving but in selection." - Edmund Burke
 
Did your husband file for unemployment? Your husband and daughter both need to get jobs. I worked 3 jobs and raised 2 girls by my self. As others said, write down everything you spend. Don't mean to be harsh but you do what you have to. Both daughter and husband could be working even if its just part time jobs. Theres nothing wrong with working part time jobs until something permanent happens. Most states have work force programs that will help them find jobs. They both need to register with them as it will not cost anything to do so. I would not register with employment agencies that charge a fee when your state probably has it for free.
 
Aputernut17 said:
Sit down and make a budget immediately only way to go, have been using a budget for 57 yrs, married tomorrow and never had money difficulties.
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I agree. One thing my husband and I have been doing differently lately to save money is take a certain amount of cash out each week for spending money and that’s it. Using plastic money as in debit card is too easy to overspend in our case.

We look online ahead, create a menu from what’s on sale for the week, make big batches of food and freeze some with dates
 
I ask myself with every purchase I'm about to make if I really need or want this item. Sometimes I carry it around in my cart while doing other shopping which gives me time to think. Many times I've returned the item to the shelf. Every Sunday I make a menu out for the week. I've been doing this since we were first married,then I make a list and stick to it. If you have a few dollars left and don't need it for other bills you can buy a few items in bulk and absolutely no eating out.
 
Thanks for your replies. I like the idea of writing down what I spend which is why I am going to go thru my checking account transactions and see what we are spending on. We use our debit card, so I can see pretty clearly what's been spent. I think some of our problem is that this was a sudden drop in income that we weren't prepared for.

My daughter does work. The only reason she is living with us is because of a serious medical condition. Because of that medical condition, she is only able to work part time. Her money goes to pay her medical bills and those are monsters. She doesn't pay rent, but we don't pay her medical bills either., so it's really a wash.

We used to budget when we were younger, but gradually got to where we didn't need to follow a strict budget. I think we were more spoiled than I thought. Time to tighten that belt.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
I ask myself with every purchase I'm about to make if I really need or want this item. Sometimes I carry it around in my cart while doing other shopping which gives me time to think. Many times I've returned the item to the shelf. Every Sunday I make a menu out for the week. I've been doing this since we were first married,then I make a list and stick to it. If you have a few dollars left and don't need it for other bills you can buy a few items in bulk and absolutely no eating out.
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No eating out? That would be a hard one for us. But I am starting to see that we spend a lot of money on food.
 
Aunt Bea said:
Write down every penny you spend each day and review the information to see where the money is going.

It sounds like a big hassle but I've been doing it for many years and it only takes a minute or two.

Once you know where the money is going start plugging the leaks and start letting go of the things that are not important to you.

The whole idea is to seek the minimum when you start to feel the pinch back off a little.

Don't become a miser, spend your money on the things that are important to you and let go of the things that are not important to you.

"Economy is a distributive virtue, and consists not in saving but in selection." - Edmund Burke
Click to expand...

I agree with this... you got to find out where your money is going....then you know where to cut.

If you have any credit cards cut them up first....

I keep All my receipts.. even if it's for a 2 dollar cash item.

Sometimes the cash you spend gets lost when you figure your bills,but it all adds up..

Think about it as in what you make in a year, little things add up in a years time..like your insurance on home ,cars..etc..

Shop around and if you can cut it by 20 dollars a month it makes a difference in a years time....

I have all kinds of crazy things I do to cut my grocery bills, but that's because I don't work and have the time to actually cook from scratch.

It saves a lot each month which adds up in a years time.
 
Go to the Fidelity website. Fill out their Retirement Income Planner tool. It will assist you in identifying ALL your expenses. A real eye opener! A shocker for me!

About 5 years ago I became a Fidelity Private Client Group client. They explained as we got started together that there are 3 important areas to identify. Your complete annual expenses, your income when you retire, and how much you have saved (IRA’s , 401k’s, stocks, mutual funds, savings, etc.

They asked me what I thought my annual expenses were. Proudly I said they were very low. No debt, no mortgages, etc. They smiled and said, “So, again, what are your annual total expenses?” I said I don’t really know. Then guess for us. I said low, perhaps $35K a year. They all looked at each other and smiled. “We guess you spend between $70,000 and $80,000 per year. I told them they were out of their minds and I now seriously doubted their ability to assist me. We went through the very thorough tool...........................$74,000 a year! I was shocked. But it’s correct.

My point, it is so easy to not count all the little things that add up. Their tool will help you identify so many areas. You can then decide what you can work on to eliminate. You don’t have to be a client to use the RIP tool. Try it!
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
I ask myself with every purchase I'm about to make if I really need or want this item. Sometimes I carry it around in my cart while doing other shopping which gives me time to think. Many times I've returned the item to the shelf. Every Sunday I make a menu out for the week. I've been doing this since we were first married,then I make a list and stick to it. If you have a few dollars left and don't need it for other bills you can buy a few items in bulk and absolutely no eating out.
Click to expand...

I do the same thing with carrying an item around in my cart for awhile -- most of the time I end up putting it back.
 
Uptosnuff said:
No eating out? That would be a hard one for us. But I am starting to see that we spend a lot of money on food.
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If you are eating out a lot, that means you are spending WAAAY more on food than you need to. That would be the first thing I'd cut out -- and that includes take out, too, and it means taking your lunch to work. No cheating. It really isn't that hard to prepare a simple nutritious meal. Once years ago when we were seriously strapped for cash, we took a long hard look at out eating out/going out with friends for drinks, etc., we were flabbergasted at how much we were spending.

We also stopped using credit cards for purchases -- if you really must have that new doo-dad, pay for it when you buy it. We kept one credit card for real emergencies, like when my father died and we had to fly back to the states. Then we paid that off as fast as we could.

There are a lot of ways you can cut back without feeling like you are living in the Great Depression. The danger in dealing with a sudden drop in income is that if it goes on for a while, you can rack up serious debt if you keep trying to live the way you did when you had two incomes.
 
Floridatennisplayer said:
Go to the Fidelity website. Fill out their Retirement Income Planner tool. It will assist you in identifying ALL your expenses. A real eye opener! A shocker for me!

About 5 years ago I became a Fidelity Private Client Group client. They explained as we got started together that there are 3 important areas to identify. Your complete annual expenses, your income when you retire, and how much you have saved (IRA’s , 401k’s, stocks, mutual funds, savings, etc.

They asked me what I thought my annual expenses were. Proudly I said they were very low. No debt, no mortgages, etc. They smiled and said, “So, again, what are your annual total expenses?” I said I don’t really know. Then guess for us. I said low, perhaps $35K a year. They all looked at each other and smiled. “We guess you spend between $70,000 and $80,000 per year. I told them they were out of their minds and I now seriously doubted their ability to assist me. We went through the very thorough tool...........................$74,000 a year! I was shocked. But it’s correct.

My point, it is so easy to not count all the little things that add up. Their tool will help you identify so many areas. You can then decide what you can work on to eliminate. You don’t have to be a client to use the RIP tool. Try it!
Click to expand...

Is this the one you're talking about?
http://personal.fidelity.com/planning/pdf/budget_ws.pdf
 
There have been a couple of periods in my life when finances were a serious challenge. As Butterfly and other posters said above, dining out or getting take-out was the first expense to bite the dust. You don't say your daughter's age, whether she works, or what her status is, but she should be pitching in, whether financially or by helping out - maybe starting dinner while you're working.

You'll be amazed at how much less money you'll spend when you identify the difference between wants and needs. You need food. You want to go out to dinner to get that food.

I stopped shopping at places other than grocery stores because there was no point in tempting myself.

The Depression era mantra that our grandparents turned into an art form still works today: Use it up, make it do, wear it out. Most of us already have more clothing and shoes than we really need, and most of those purchases are impulse buys. Use what you've got and have your family members do the same.

Wishing you success...
 
Floridatennisplayer said:
Go to the Fidelity website. Fill out their Retirement Income Planner tool. It will assist you in identifying ALL your expenses. A real eye opener! A shocker for me!

About 5 years ago I became a Fidelity Private Client Group client. They explained as we got started together that there are 3 important areas to identify. Your complete annual expenses, your income when you retire, and how much you have saved (IRA’s , 401k’s, stocks, mutual funds, savings, etc.

They asked me what I thought my annual expenses were. Proudly I said they were very low. No debt, no mortgages, etc. They smiled and said, “So, again, what are your annual total expenses?” I said I don’t really know. Then guess for us. I said low, perhaps $35K a year. They all looked at each other and smiled. “We guess you spend between $70,000 and $80,000 per year. I told them they were out of their minds and I now seriously doubted their ability to assist me. We went through the very thorough tool...........................$74,000 a year! I was shocked. But it’s correct.

My point, it is so easy to not count all the little things that add up. Their tool will help you identify so many areas. You can then decide what you can work on to eliminate. You don’t have to be a client to use the RIP tool. Try it!
Click to expand...

Florida, very good idea. I did do this exact thing a couple of years ago. Like you, I really underestimated my annual expenses. At the time, though, both of us were working so I really didn't place too much importance on it.

I am going to go back and do it again. I agree it would be a very useful tool to use.
 
When you write out your budget, which is a necessity, always high-ball your expense estimates. I have done that since I hit 25, and it has never let me down. If you see that your monthly expenses exceed your actual income, then you need to start cutting out (or cutting back) items in your budget that are contributing to your shortfall. You must be brutally honest with yourself when you write out, and review, your budget and your income, or all will be for naught.
 
Quote
"It makes me wonder how I'm ever going to retire."


Could be the job loss by your husband was a wake up call for you. By looking hard at your expenses now you might avoid being in that group of seniors out of the work force really hurting during your final years. Like everything else that ages, deterioration sets in. A home can need costly repairs, car replacement or repair. Health issues you never imagined would happen.


As others have advised take a serious look at your expenses and decide between needs & wants.

Needs = items like food, ability to pay utilities, emergency fund for unexpected repairs, income from a source or sources other than Soc. Sec.


Wants= items like eating out, travel for vacations, newest phone technology, new car every 3 years, latest wardrobe or spa days, $5.00 coffee on the way to work.
 
StarSong said:
The Depression era mantra that our grandparents turned into an art form still works today: Use it up, make it do, wear it out. Most of us already have more clothing and shoes than we really need, and most of those purchases are impulse buys. Use what you've got and have your family members do the same.
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:thumbsup1: Would make a great wall hanging to reference everyday.
 
I don't know specifics but I can say having been "poor girl" when I was a young, single mother, I somehow made it through. I even was able to start saving a little money each paycheck. At one point I literally had only a dollar left over each paycheck and I got paid every two weeks. Blessedly I lived close enough to be able to walk home for lunch (or I brown bagged it). Also my son's school was right around the corner from my job. I shopped at thrift/consignment shops for myself, though bought good clothes on sale for my son. I became pretty damned good at managing money....making, as they say, a dollar out of 15 cents. Halfway through my career, two job changes within the same office saw my salary almost triple but that was not a sign for me to be a spendthrift. My frugal ways had become too deeply imbedded. That being said, I've watched shows where financial planners have "found" money...up to $800 a month for families drowning in debt due to their spending habits. Once something becomes a habit, people seem unaware that those things are sabotaging their budgets.

Speaking of budgets, I couldn't have made it without one. The first and most important thing to do is make a formal one (I called it my Financial Empowerment Plan (FEP). Write down everything you're spending on. Make two columns...basic necessities and those that are not necessary. You should know every penny that comes in and goes out. Pay attention to how you shop for food, only shopping sales and building your meals around them. If you are big meat eaters...cut back...meat is terribly expensive. My DIL is a master of what is known as extreme couponing. She has bought over $300 in groceries for only $75. Using physical coupons and the coupons in the stores' apps, she gets many products for free. Learn how to do it. You can probably find something on YouTube. BTW eating out is notorious for being one of the biggest budget busters, so consider cutting back substantially.

If you have credit cards (and especially good credit) get a good no fee rewards card that gives cash back. Most allow deposits into your bank account, statement credits or the purchase of gift cards. You can research online which would be best for you. Use that card for everything you can that doesn't charge a fee for usage..food, utilities, clothing, household goods, etc. And this is important..PAY IN FULL each and every month. That way you'll get extra income via your cash back rewards. I've used that method for over 10 years and am pretty sure I've gotten back $6,000 or more during that time. If you're paying a large cable bill, there are better "cord cutting" options. Got two cars? Downsize to one. Here is an article listing 100 ways to save starting right now. You can continue to find little ways by reading blogs and articles about frugality. Hope this helps.
https://www.thebalance.com/ways-to-save-money-this-year-2386116
 
OneEyedDiva said:
I don't know specifics but I can say having been "poor girl" when I was a young, single mother, I somehow made it through. I even was able to start saving a little money each paycheck. At one point I literally had only a dollar left over each paycheck and I got paid every two weeks. Blessedly I lived close enough to be able to walk home for lunch (or I brown bagged it). Also my son's school was right around the corner from my job. I shopped at thrift/consignment shops for myself, though bought good clothes on sale for my son. I became pretty damned good at managing money....making, as they say, a dollar out of 15 cents. Halfway through my career, two job changes within the same office saw my salary almost triple but that was not a sign for me to be a spendthrift. My frugal ways had become too deeply imbedded. That being said, I've watched shows where financial planners have "found" money...up to $800 a month for families drowning in debt due to their spending habits. Once something becomes a habit, people seem unaware that those things are sabotaging their budgets.
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Empathy and compassion are among the unexpected and best rewards many of us gleaned from periods of financial difficulty. During the last 20 years of our working lives we owned a school uniform company. When my husband or I could see a family really stretching the budget to be able to pay for our (very affordably priced) uniforms for their children, we would throw some extras into the bags, cut a hefty discount, or not charge them at all.

Sometimes the parents would stop us, worrying that we would get in trouble with the school or our employer. We'd tell them that we were the owners, and a specific part of our agreements with our schools was that we could discount or scholarship families as we saw fit (believe it don't some schools kicked up a fuss at this - crazy, right?).

If the parents continued to protest a bit, we would gently say that we had also known difficult times, and been at the receiving end of many kindnesses, and were simply paying it forward. We'd then encourage that person to pay this act forward whenever and however it was possible. I'd like to believe that they did.

Being able to help pull people through, even in a very small way, was truly gratifying and one of the greatest benefits of owning a business.
 
This whole "living within your means" thing is vastly overrated. Do what you want and let the good times roll.

Buckeye, MBA, CPA
 
Buckeye said:
This whole "living within your means" thing is vastly overrated. Do what you want and let the good times roll.

Buckeye, MBA, CPA
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Soc. Sec. is not a wage. Rolling with the good times works if part of the good times includes planning for the senior years when there is no paycheck coming in.
The op had a two income source to live on now there is only her income & according to her a few years left until retirement. I haven't read or there is no mention of supplemental income. So IMO letting the good times roll with questionable ability to continue the good times during retirement, memories of the good times isn't going to help much.

The good times for us meant living off my salary investing a portion of it & investing all but $25.00 of my wife's $525.00 a week take home pay. We had a motor home, a summer place just outside of Vineland N. J. & a 23 ft. power boat birthed at the marina in Fortescue N. J. We have great memories because we enjoyed the good times. When our kids were out on there own we sold the summer home for more than we paid for it. The boat we took a small loss. That money was invested.

25 years into an early retirement were still rolling in the good times.
 

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