How do "you" deal with your "negative" boss?

CindyLouWho

Senior Member
Location
USA
Would love some input on how you deal or have dealt with a negative boss, short of getting a new job (which I am currently looking for). You know, the ones who say, "I need to tell you what you are doing wrong" but "never ever" tell you what you are doing right, or you're doing a good job ( in which you know for a fact you are).
 

I had a boss like that once she was an absolute nightmare to work with, everything I did well she took credit for, and she surrounded herself with sycophants who were all too ready to invent gossip which she thrived on...to cause trouble for other people ...if she did anything wrong..then the blame was laid loudly and squarely on my shoulders.. I feel for you, it's a horrible situation in which to have to work..


Have a look here and see if this applies to your Boss...

https://hbr.org/2016/04/how-to-work-for-a-narcissistic-boss
 
A co-worker who became a friend worked for a guy like that. I worked there in an adjunct job for some time as a temp, but they had a time limit on how long a temp could do the job. The department chief kept trying to get me to sign on, and he finally asked what he would have to do to make that happen. I told him he had too many chiefs and not enough Indians and that I refused to work for HB. If he removed HB from my chain of command, I would take the job. He did it, and I went to work for him.

HB was horrible to his assistant, a mousy woman who went home to more abuse. He would say things like, "I don't care what you've done in the past, what have you done for me today?" and "I shouldn't have to thank you for doing your job."

I got her name in the department's Christmas gift-drawing and I gave her a book, "Never Work for a Jerk." Of course she opened it at the party in front of everyone and they all rolled. It was too funny.
 

Thanks hollydolly, and yes!.....this is exactly her. If...."she" makes an error she will say, "well I'm only human" but if I make an error....she is nasty & mean. When giving me a new project to work on she will say, "now "I" can get this done in an hour, but......

I've been searching for another job, which isn't always easy out there at 55 years old.
 
Well, she is the boss of the very small division here in Florida and their corporate offices are in NJ. She is the boss here over all of us and if I go over her head I'm afraid of losing my job. So, I suck it up, and keep on looking forward to the day I find another job so I can tell her to "take this job and shove it", because I'm worth more than that!.
 
So they aren't likely to care how she treats her employees as long as she's making money for them. That's a bad situation.

There are some excellent online resources for dealing with a bad boss. Or you could go all passive-aggressive on her, which isn't exactly the grown-up way to deal with problems but can be great fun.
 
She has been working for them a very long time. She actually left, hated her new job and they took her back to work for them. I would have a losing battle. Great idea to research how to deal with a bad boss.. I can't believe I haven't done that yet, I love to research. I'll have to do that this weekend. I'm realizing that every tough situation I make it through, I learn something new about "people" and about myself. That's the optimistic side of it anyway...haha.

Z

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
Z
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So they aren't likely to care how she treats her employees as long as she's making money for them. That's a bad situation.


That was exactly the situation I found myself in....head office didn;t want to know when complaints were made , because 'she'' appeared to be making money for them...but in fact it wasn't her it was ME ...I hated that woman... I really did. Fortunately I was young enough to be able to leave and find another job ....at 55 it's not easy for you Cindylou... but anything is better than feeling dread at having to work with a narcissistic boss..especially when they are less capable than you, but you're expected to work harder than them and to tug your forelock metaphorically speaking, just to get through from payday to payday... while they take all the glory.... *ugh*...
 
Cindy, I still vote for passive-aggressive. One of the things I discovered during my working years is that incompetent bosses tend to be extremely insecure. That provides you with an excellent opportunity. Go for the jugular, and don't let up until you get what you want.
 
Think you may be right, Smiling Jane!

Oh! .....and I forgot to add this.............On the initial interview she appeared friendly, I had no indication of her Jekyll & Hyde personality to come....BUT I remember she did say, out of the blue, that the other people in the office who work for her "thought she was a witch!"
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Why would she volunteer that information? Guess she has a conscience that bothers her.
 
It's not unusual for people to tell us things like that about themselves, almost as if they're warning us.

Could be if she warned you and you took the job anyway, her conscience is clear.

Something you might want to do, if you're not doing it already, is to document everything. Last time I had a boss I didn't trust, I kept a running documentary of what he did and said and things that happened. It proved to be useful when I needed it.
 
I had a boss once who would have always "done it differently" than the way I did it. I'd ask him something like "do you want the report this way or that way?" His answer would always be, "Use your initiative and do it the right way!" No matter how I did something, he'd come back with, "I'd have done it this way instead" or "I'd rather have had it that way."

So I started doing it both ways and when he'd criticize it, I'd pull out the other one. After I stopped caring how he wanted it, I'd just say, "Maybe you should do it next time...." He'd also blame me publicly for mistakes that were quite obviously his mistakes.

I got my revenge, though. His contract was not renewed and they gave me his job.
 
Having been through this, my first advice is to take care of yourself. If the job is making you crazy, or sick, or depressed, get the hell out of there and find something else. Your first priority has to be your own health and sanity, not "winning." If you're dealing with a vindictive narcissist, the chances of a real "win" are small, especially if this person has upper echelon support, and wouldn't do you much good anyway if you wind up with PTSD and a ruined stomach lining.

Life's too short!
 
Though the majority of my working life has seen me self-employed, I did take brief forays into working for others. The few times I had bosses, I actually enjoyed telling them off, when they were true jerks. My fondest memory, along those lines, was when I was an AM for a large furniture store. At a big company meeting, one morning, the District Manager let it be known that he had me followed as I went along my outside duties, that included cold-calling apartment complexes. I stood up, let him know what I thought of his spying, told him where he could go, and promptly walked out of the place, never to return. A co-worker told me to hold on, and joined me. We had a very nice breakfast and parted company (pun?), for good. I sometimes wonder where that guy ended up. Earlier on, at that same company, I let the owner of this large national chain know exactly what I thought of his overblown ego and pedantic ways: During a meeting with him and the Manager of the outlet we were in, as he droned on and on about how everything had to be his way, and this and that, I fell asleep in my chair, only a few feet from him! The Manager told me that he told her to let me sleep because I deserved it, since I worked so hard for him. That is another one of my fondest memories of working for others.
 


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