How do you feel in social situations if nobody is paying any attention to you?

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
If I go to a party of other social event and I'm treated like I'm the invisible woman, I feel neglected and jealous of people receiving the attention. However, if people try to engage me in small talk, I feel self-conscious and claustrophobic. It's a no-win situation. What can I do?
 

Perhaps the answer to the situation in your first sentence is contained in your 2nd sentence. Open up, become part of the conversation. If you pull yourself to the side, others will take that as a sign that you want to be left alone.
 
This happens to me also. I avoid parties and such events now. I am not good at them, even when they are my peers and I fit in.
Some women wear red to stand out more. Never beige orwhite. Of course, you could have a drink before you go in. My guess is that the ones getting all the attention are listening to boring small talk of no interest, and they may wish they were elsewhere.
 

I tend to be a bit socially isolated, and do not do well in crowds, anyway, so would naturally tend to keep to myself. A friend taught me a trick to help in social situations. Find one person who is also alone, and walk up and talk with them. Even if just to say "Hi, are you having a nice time". Usually helps.
 
I prefer to be ignored, slip into a party unnoticed and quietly slip out the same way!

I usually end up in an out of the way location like the kitchen, eventually a couple more introverts stumble in and we end up having our own quiet little party within the party, LOL!
 
I often feel ignored at parties, too. I do make attempts to talk to people and sometimes they stay and talk to me and sometimes they go and talk to others. I usually don't stay that long for that reason.
 
My best & only advice is just to be yourself! Don't do any pretending. No one cares for a person pretending to be something that they aren't.
 
I'm like Bea, I prefer not to be the center of attention and usually will end up going off into a side room with just a few people and chat there. I never liked parties or being around large groups of people, so it's something I don't do very often.

This reminds me of that old comedy movie "The Party". :)

 
IMHO it's all in your head and all in your attitude.
The same as it is for me and pretty much anyone else.

If you're being quiet and standing by yourself, not smiling or talking to other folks, you'll be ignored.
You're telegraphing "leave me alone" with your actions.

An extrovert that always talks to people, says hello, always looks like they're glad to see the other person will always get reciprocated.

Then there's the rest of us.
Neither introvert nor extrovert.

You'll get back what you put into it.
It's all about attitude IMHO.
 
I stay away from parties. Don't think I've been to one except for a wedding or something, if you call that a party. I went to a birthday party when I was 10.
 
"How do you feel in social situations if nobody is paying any attention to you?"

I prefer it that way. Like Aunt Bea, will usually slip off to a corner somewhere and find another (one) person to talk to, not a group.
 
I'm not comfortable in group situations either so I avoid them like the plague. And if I'm forced to go, I'll find a comfortable spot to 'hide' and hope that no one tries to engage.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top