How to prepare early for Nursing Home

Nursing homes are as much of a home as a prison. No one gives a rats ass about you. You have no friends there. You have no relatives there. Everyone there is a stranger. "Welcome Home!" Not hardly.
 

fmdog44 said:
Nursing homes are as much of a home as a prison. No one gives a rats ass about you. You have no friends there. You have no relatives there. Everyone there is a stranger. "Welcome Home!" Not hardly.
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Maybe the ones you've visited. Not true for all of them. No complaints about the outstanding facility we moved my MIL to, nor the one we're considering for ourselves.

It is very true, however, that it helps if you have someone to visit and help be your advocate. But frankly, that's just as much true for dealing with doctors and hospitals! We learned we had to go with MIL to appts. because she missed 80% of what was told to her, through a combination of bad hearing (despite hearing aids) and mild dementia.
 
My mother and FIL both lived out the last bits of their lives in Assisted Living and the costs were far lower than SNFs. For at least several months before passing each needed assistance with bathing, dressing, transferring and toileting. When they reached the ends of their lives, hospice care provided care in their AL apartments.

These beautiful, modern AL facilities were professional, caring, modern communities, much more akin to a cruise ship than a hospital. If unable to remain in our home, AL would be DH & my choice for our last days,
 
StarSong said:
My mother and FIL both lived out the last bits of their lives in Assisted Living and the costs were far lower than SNFs. For at least several months before passing each needed assistance with bathing, dressing, transferring and toileting. When they reached the ends of their lives, hospice care provided care in their AL apartments.

These beautiful, modern AL facilities were professional, caring, modern communities, much more akin to a cruise ship than a hospital. If unable to remain in our home, AL would be DH & my choice for our last days,
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MIL lived in Assisted Living for years, then was forced to go to SNF for the rest of her years (almost 9), so its not always a clear cut choice. We found that out. Thought she would lie in the AL facility, but nope, not like that.
 
Liberty said:
MIL lived in Assisted Living for years, then was forced to go to SNF for the rest of her years (almost 9), so its not always a clear cut choice. We found that out. Thought she would lie in the AL facility, but nope, not like that.
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NINE YEARS IN A NURSING HOME? Wow! That's a scary long time. What was her health condition, Liberty?
 
StarSong said:
NINE YEARS IN A NURSING HOME? Wow! That's a scary long time. What was her health condition, Liberty?
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Hard to pinpoint her condition that put her there except she did have osteoporosis "bone on bone" in her shoulder and knee I think. Was adverse to doing basic exercise of any kind for as long as I knew her, and finally couldn't do those magic few steps after being in the hospital for a bowel operation. The criteria was the patient had to navigate the steps or they went to the SNC and not back in Assisted Living.

She was in her right mind, but had sundowner's syndrome in the hospital for days as they had put her "too far under" with the anesthesia - always best to be put lightly under. She had golden DNA. Not what I sure call living, though. She died in her mid 90's.
 
Liberty said:
Hard to pinpoint her condition that put her there except she did have osteoporosis "bone on bone" in her shoulder and knee I think. Was adverse to doing basic exercise of any kind for as long as I knew her, and finally couldn't do those magic few steps after being in the hospital for a bowel operation. The criteria was the patient had to navigate the steps or they went to the SNC and not back in Assisted Living.

She was in her right mind, but had sundowner's syndrome in the hospital for days as they had put her "too far under" with the anesthesia - always best to be put lightly under. She had golden DNA. Not what I sure call living, though. She died in her mid 90's.
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Oh my. What a nightmare for all concerned.
 
StarSong said:
Oh my. What a nightmare for all concerned.
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Thank God for the good nursing home she was in. So strange, the administrator "Shannon" came when MIL got admitted and left 9 years later when she died. Good karma?

Learned a secret about getting a loved one into the best nursing homes. Wouldn't want to post it here, but if anyone wants to PM me, I'll tell them. It is what it is, and like I said...we were so
thankful for the good nursing home she was in all those years.
 


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