Husband, Wife, Partner?

Mike

Mike

Well-known Member
Location
London
I wonder why some people who don't marry but
live together call each other partner?

Long ago when somebody did live together as a
couple but not married they were a common law
Husband and Wife.

I have a very good friend, who calls her "other half",
my partner, they are not married, but have been a
couple for at least 20 years.

Mike.
 

I refer to mine as the "Spousal Equivalent".

"Boyfriend" sounds sort of temporary, "fiance" implies that we're getting married some day, which we're not and partner is a little...cold....

We own things together, our finances are somewhat mingled, and the likelihood of us still being together in 20 years are probably the same as if we were married. We're each other's healthcare advocates, legal reps, etc.
 

For the younger folk Boyfriend/girlfriend implies that you’re exclusively dating just each other, and the term partner is used typically to indicate you’re living together.

It’s also used by same sex couples, sometimes to indicate that they’re together, sometimes that they’re married. It’s nuanced, and I’m unsure of the subtleties.

As a dating senior, the term “boyfriend” felt silly to me. I’m no even sure why, it just sounded juvenile. I would simply refer to the person I was dating as “my guy” or “my man.” Becoming engaged made things much simpler. “My fiancé” clarified things, and after marriage “my husband” made things clearer still.
 
Last edited:
I'm not sure that 'common law' marriage ever had a legal standing in the UK - except in Scotland. There were a number of 'Irregular marriages' in Scotland until 1939 and the last type, by Habit and repute was not abolished until 2006.
 
I guess it depends on what role that other person fulfills. Roomie, husband, wife, lover, dog walker? I agree with Camper6, we don't have a history of same sex unions to know what to call the other person. Maybe we should call that other person by the role they play in our lives-bed warmer, and spider killer.
 
Camper6 said:
So how do you address two same sex people. Partner is the only thing that seems to fit.
Click to expand...
I send out clients' christmas cards for some of my clients every year. Many of them still prefer the formal usage of "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" and for non married women, it's either "Miss Smith" or "Ms. Smith" depending on prior marital status.

Since the advent of same sex marriages, gender equality, married women not adopting the surname of their spouses, etc., many people have transitioned to less formal address, though amongst a couple of my clients clinging to formal usage, it's been a bit problematic when addressing cards to same sex spouses, and those women not taking their spouse's last name.

"Mr. John Smith and Mr. Fred Smith" is acceptable for same sex marriages, or Mrs. if the couple is female. "Mr. John Smith and Mrs Jane Doe" is the go to if the woman hasn't taken her spouse's name. Sometimes a card is addressed to "The Smith-Doe Family"

Those rules of etiquette no longer apply the way they used to. The lines are blurred now.
 
Two men marrying each other call the other half "Husband"
and if it is two women, they call each other "Wife".

I can imagine the shock and horror, if this happened 50 or
60 years ago.

Mike.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Lee
I think "Partner" sounds strange. When I first heard it, I thought people owned a business together.
Later, I thought it meant a same-sex couple.
I also find "Lover" strange.
But "Main Squeeze" is OK with me 😂
 
My wife and I were together almost 15 years before we got married. I would refer to her as my significant other, especially when it came to some legal matter or such. In private conversations, I would often refer to her as my "hot bit of stuff". I doubt I'll ever grow up.
 
Back in 2012 I roomed with a man, platonic relationship, and I was struggling to get health insurance. After a year of living together, he put me on his insurance as his “Domestic Partner”

The health insurance company required a year of living together, with proof, before they added me. I don’t know if this was common practice in other areas or not. It assumes, but does not specify, a romantic relationship, and how could one prove that anyway? 😂 it just required proof of a year at the same address as my friend in order for his company to add me to his health insurance.
 
Murrmurr said:
There's a same-sex couple living in my apt complex. One man refers to the other his husband, the other calls the one his wife. I assume it's a personal choice, maybe based on their roles in their marriage or simply how each one views the other.
Click to expand...
Except for one thing. In the English language wife is female and husband is male and it's not interchangeable.
 
Ronni said:
Back in 2012 I roomed with a man, platonic relationship, and I was struggling to get health insurance. After a year of living together, he put me on his insurance as his “Domestic Partner”

The health insurance company required a year of living together, with proof, before they added me. I don’t know if this was common practice in other areas or not. It assumes, but does not specify, a romantic relationship, and how could one prove that anyway? 😂 it just required proof of a year at the same address as my friend in order for his company to add me to his health insurance.
Click to expand...
I was in the same situation & they also specified a romantic relationship before they would let her add me to her health insurance.
They didn't believe me, so I sent them a video. They were so inspired, they made copies for all their employees to take home & also played them during their weekly staff meetings.
 
ms gamboolgal is "the wife", my better half, my wife. She is the light of my life and has been for near to 43 year since I first saw her.

We never heard the term "Partner" growing up in East Texas.

But when we lived oversea's and worked with lots of expats from the world over, e.g., Brits and Europeans, South Africans, Canadians, Australians, Russians, Chinese, Malaysians, Middle Easterners, etc., we came to understand it is very common to use the term "Partner", especially overseas.

We called folks who lived together w/o being formally married - Common Law Man & Wife. We always thought that at least in Texas if a couple lived together that legally it was considered a Common Law Marriage. But I could be wrong about that as my opinion is based only on what I heard growing up and hear say......

Having said all that, it does not really matter what other folks do or call themselves to ms gamboolgal and I.
 
Spouse. A nice gender neutral term. Considering the way the meanings of words change, there’s no need for it to imply whether you’re married or co-habiting.
 
jujube said:
Of course, there was the old census designation of "POSSLQ", which stood for "Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters". " I'd like to introduce you to my Possel-Q, George" doesn't quite cut it, though, does it?
Click to expand...
I like"possel-Q," but it sounds like some relative of a possum. "At some time during the distant past, a genetic variant of the possum emerged, now commonly called the possel-Q."
 
Jules said:
Spouse. A nice gender neutral term. Considering the way the meanings of words change, there’s no need for it to imply whether you’re married or co-habiting.
Click to expand...
I think the word “spouse” designates a married couple. Hmmmm......

Ok I looked it up. It designates the people in a marriage, civil union, or common-law marriage. So the implication is that you’re in an arrangement that approximates a legal union rather than just being roommates, or a bf and Gf living together just to see if it works.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top