I live alone, but I'm not lonely.

If you read some of the posts, a lot of "alone' people are sad sacks craving others. I like people, and doing things with others is more pleasurable and desirable than going solo. BUT I don't mind being alone. If a neighbor comes over and we talk, do I, enjoy that? Yes. If a neighbor doesn't come over, am I ready to slit my wrist? No. I understand being lonely after decades of married life. Yet, I feel the person, who makes you happy is yourself. What do you say?
 

BillB613

New Member
I’m with you. I enjoy being around people, but when I am alone and no one is around I am contented.

By necessity I currently live in a group home. I am looking for an apartment or even a room of my own. Actually living alone will be a new experience. I am looking forward to it. But I do wonder what it will feel like after the newness wears off. I am sure my social life will pick up. I like the thought of inviting someone over for dinner or just a cup of coffee and a chat.

I like what you said about the person who will make me the happiest is myself. It is all about attitude, as I see it.
 

Remy

Senior Member
Location
California, USA
Well I don't much like myself but I'm best when I'm not around people. I don't talk to my neighbors at the complex much. A nice older man who lost his home in one of the fires offered me a plant from his collection once. I turned it down, nicely. But I think I hurt his feelings. I'm just not good at taking things. Too many strings attached to too many things growing up.

I was lonely when young because I was purposely isolated. Now I know I'm just better off alone. I've had co-workers in the past ask me to go out after work for a drink, out to lunch, go antiquing. I turn them down.
 

RadishRose

SF VIP
Location
Connecticut, USA
Well I don't much like myself
Oh @Remy you should not go on feeling this way!

I think all of us cringe more often than we'd like, over the foolish and wrong things we've done. God knows, I do!

But to actually come out and say you don't like yourself much makes me feel sad for you. I bet if you think honestly, you'll find more things to like about yourself.

Sometimes I too, have to "force" myself to accept an invitation to get out of the house. I whine: ohh, I need haircut or ohhh, I have nothing to wear or ohhh, I don't feel like washing and styling my hair or ohhh, my dog will miss me...etc.

But when I DO make it out the door, I have a good time.

Sometimes I am lonely, but it's my own lazy fault.
 

katlupe

Well-known Member
Location
Norwich, NY
So many times I say I don't want to go somewhere or do something with others but if I push myself to do it I have a great time. I think it is just getting out the door for me.

I have made friends with my neighbors here in my building and they drop in to see me almost daily. My son lives down the street and he comes over often. I am not lonely at all, just live alone. I go for a walk in the park almost every morning now and there are a few people I see all the time and we stop and talk a few minutes. If you act like you do not want any interaction with others they will get the message.
 

OneEyedDiva

Well-known Member
Location
New Jersey
I've always enjoyed my alone time. It made my second husband crazy when I'd take solo vacations...but I needed to do that from time to time. I actually got anxiety when we were together for too many days at a stretch, except for when we were on vacation. My husband was a semi retired small business owner so he didn't have to be at work for several hours a day if he chose not to, since he had workers. I mentioned this before. I was a co-wife. We wouldn't have lasted a month if we had a traditional marriage. I grew up as an only child (found my (half) siblings when I was in my early 50s) so I was used to being alone. I do alone very well and seldom get lonely. I admit though, that during about the mid stage of the pandemic, due to it's restrictions, I felt lonely sometimes. I agree that doing things with others is fun but not a necessity all the time. I also agree with you that we are responsible for our own happiness.
 

MickaC

Well-known Member
Location
Manitoba, Canada
I'm much like you, except last evening. I was sitting on my back steps, playing fetch with my dog, and really wished I had someone else there to watch the sunset.
Totally with you. Times like you said about sharing the sunset with someone......times I too would like to share some things with someone.....not meaning a partner....just someone to share, and care.
 

katlupe

Well-known Member
Location
Norwich, NY
Even if it’s not the message someone means to send.
I think you mean that sometimes someone brushes off others who try to become friends with them. Deep down though they want to be friends but are afraid. Maybe something happened to hurt them in the past so they don't trust new people trying to get to know them. Not sure if that is what you meant but that happens often.
 

moviequeen1

Well-known Member
Location
Buffalo,NY
I've lived alone for most of my adult life, never found my 'soul mate,I'm not lonely do like my time alone
I live in apt building,every day I'll see other residents some have become friends others I don't now well
It never fails,on my daily walks I'll run into somebody I know
Over the years,I've made a group of close friends I consider my 'Buffalo family' we're there for each other I'm the only member of my family who still lives here,my brother lives in{Conn} my sister{England}
 

Teacher Terry

New Member
I have been alone for the past year and am fine with it. I have my kids and many friends that I enjoy spending time with. I was a big extrovert when younger but the older I get the more I enjoy spending time alone. I have my 2 Maltese for company and enjoy taking them for walks. Sometimes I end up visiting with people walking. I also have made friends with people in my condo building.
 


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