If I Get Dementia …

Jules

Jules

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If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.
If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original places.
If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”
 

My mother had Alzheimer's, she became as a child, so it was easy to care for her. The sad stories are of those families who have parents go 10-20 years before the end. Mom was the direct type, gone in 9 months.

I took her to the doctor once (she remembered me) and said "That girl you hired, well she's treating me like I was her mother"

That was her oldest child. She also forgot about her youngest.
 
My brother-in-law is in the first stages of dementia, and is now in a full-care home. He doesn't recognize
his wife and son, but so far, recognizes his daughter. He thinks his wife is an employee at the residence.
He hasn't been a particularly good person .. wife beater, control-freak. Yet, his wife is extremely saddened
by this change in personality.
 
This is my worst fear. I had a brain scan and a dementia test and was told I don't have anything to worry about (but I still worry.) I have a check list: ie check the stove before leaving the house, turnoff light at bedtime; etc., etc.

Luckily I have a "key pad" lock so don't worry about forgetting the key. (just have to remember the numbers - birth year of daughter, sons or one of the grands)
 
perChance said:
My mom changed from a kind, pleasant person to someone that would sometimes kick or bite anyone that got too close. My parents had a wonderful marriage - they were together for 69 years but the last year or so was a nightmare.
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I'm so sorry, you lost your mum that way ! :(

Dementia is like a Thing that drags away the soul of the person you know and replaces it with an Alien being...
 
My aunt had dementia for 10 years or so. The last five were spent in an adult facility.
In her case, she was so very happy there. Although she didn't recognize me or my husband when we visited, she did flirt with him. She sat with another male who also was a resident, and they were like a teenage couple. They painted their fingernails bright red, giggled and enjoyed the weekly musical entertainment. I couldn't have wished for more for her. Her own husband wasn't so happy as she didn't know him. He was abusive to her, had affairs. and made her former life miserable.
She passed peaceably.
 
I once heard a doggone stand-up comedian making fun of Alzheimers, saying along the lines of "Hey, it's not so bad; you get to meet new people every day!" (Jerk.) The problem is that some Alz. patients realize what's happening to them; I remember my poor next-to-the-last stepmother crying, saying "What's happening to me? Why oh why can't I remember things."
 
Happy Heart said:
My aunt drank herself into some kind of dementia. She used to be a fun vibrant person who worked in the space program and contributed to society. The last ten years of her life were really sad at the hands of a son who hated her.
Make wise choices now before someone else does it for you.
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Yes! That is completely right. I too have read often that big boozer are great candidates to get dementia.

What I did not read but know from my own experience is that big boozers are also among the world's most boring people as they slur and slur about how great they are or what great things they are going to do. Ha, Ha!
 
Packerjohn said:
What I did not read but know from my own experience is that big boozers are also among the world's most boring people as they slur and slur about how great they are or what great things they are going to do. Ha, Ha!
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That reminds me of this...

 


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