Interesting statement and question..for discussion

If someone says "Can I tell you a secret?" I say NO, I don't want to hear it. I know they have already said it to others. People who can't keep a secret are the ones out there telling eveyone about this. If someone is having a problem they will tell me directly. These revalations should be kept private, I am not about secrets, I am also not about telling people private things that I have been told. I do my best to help someone that is suffering but telling others about private things is not helping them.

If you can't be trusted you are of no help to the person. It is very important to know the difference.
Depends. I have few secrets myself, i'm a mostly open book in most situations--tho try not to overload others with very personal TMI. Others' secrets i can keep. The exception would be if they confide someone is abusing them or they were abusing someone. Tho i would try to get them to seek help, offer shelter to a
them if the victim, but if details equalled abuse of children by them or someone else i would not keep that secret.

When my kids were young i told them that as odd as it may sound, i wanted them to build trust with each other as much as with me. No tattling! The exception was 'If your sibling's health or well being is at risk than you need to tell me'. Never happened, they came to me themselves, because i actually discussed things-- Why? How? before and often instead of scolding.
"He/she keeps a secret..

the same as holding on to a wet bar of soap. "

Can you keep a secret?.


I think that phrase is an interesting way of saying, that the person is trustworthy in general. Which is an attribute, surely.
"He/she keeps a secret."

There are some perhaps-rare times, though, when telling a secret is truly important to do.
Sometimes it is clearly evident, that there's something more important involved, than keeping it, (such as someone's safety or well being) and that there are exceptions to the general rule to always keep a secret.

Other times, there's a more confusing judgment factor involved.

Though much of the time, the ability to keep a secret, is a positive value.
I will admit I have told a couple to doctors's when my husband was ill going thru chemo. He did not want anyone to know he was having accidents, none of us do if that happens. I felt it important for the doctor to know. I was worried about dehydration and electrolytes. They keep a very close eye on everything.

If anything went wrong in his labs he could be rejected from the clinical trials he was in.
According to the Secret Security Clearance I had in the military ... yes
... wait ... that's supposed to be a secret ;)
My Navy son's training was in anti-nuclear sub weaponry and that was all he could tell us. After 4 yrs at Whidbey Island he declined to reup unless he got sea duty. When he left that assignment he was required to burn his 'notes'.

EDIT: The reason he held out for sea duty was his maternal line is full of Navy and some Marines. My paternal grandfather was a Navy man in WWI. My Dad a Merchant Marine in WWII (blind in one eye at the time disqualified him from other services) and had personal small cabin boats for decades. One of my sisters was in Navy.
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“If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.” (Khalil Gibran).

If you know or suspect someone as being a gossip, you would be a fool to tell them a secret.

Over the years I have kept many personal secrets for my friends (and vice versa) that’s why they have been my friends for decades. However, when someone asks me to keep something secret I always ask the questions : Is this about something unethical… will someone be hurt? Then I tell them upfront, I would rather not be privy to this.