Is there such a thing as too much social life?

Marie5656

Marie5656

SF VIP
Location
Batavia, NY
In the past few months, since Rick died, I have kind of reinvented myself, socially. Been getting out a bit more, and trying to stay active. I have a sneaky hunch I will bot be ac active come winter. Between lunches/dinners out with friends and family, soclal events I am being invited to, and people coming over, or me visiting them, I have had hardly a week go by when I have not had several things on my calendar.
This morning, a friend messaged me on Facebook asking if I was still planning on meeting her at an event this evening (a show at a small café). My first reaction was "Oh gosh, was that TONIGHT???" I was out on Saturday and Sunday, and hoped to stay in today.
I think I am kind of making up for lost time, as Rick and I did not go out much.
WOW. I guess I am not complaining, but I am now feeling a bit overwhelmed. Is it wrong to say I want to back off a bit? I think part of it is, people are trying to keep me busy, and are looking out for me.
It just goes against my slightly introverted nature. Oh well...come the winter weather I may just miss all this.
 

I say, “Good for you.” You have an active social life and I can’t think of anything better to do, then what you’re doing. Having the social activities after what you have experienced is a great stress reliever.

I wouldn’t advise you to do less and as long as your not over-doing it or feeling rundown or tired, then why not? Things will calm down for all of us come winter, so like they say, “Make hay while the sun shines.”
 
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I agree with 911. Winter is on it's way.

There's nothing wrong with begging off occasionally if you're tired.

At some point, you might want to look ahead for a few safe activities close to home or at home to do over the winter.

Enjoy yourself, @Marie5656
 

I guess I just got a bit overwhelmed with the reminder this morning of an event I had forgotten I had committed to. I really do want to go.
I have always had a not really active social life, so this new normal is something. I just have to find a happy balance. I do not want to become a hermit this winter, though.
 
I’m happy for you, keeping busy is a good thing, when you have too much time on your hands that can be difficult at times. Of course some downtime is really important to recharge your batteries.
 
I agree with the others get out and enjoy yourself!!!

When winter arrives you can arrange a ride and chip in for the gas, call an Uber or make your plans around events during the day.

If it starts to become a little too much then set aside a day or an evening every so often to stay in and have an early night.

Good luck!
 
Marie5656 said:
WOW. I guess I am not complaining, but I am now feeling a bit overwhelmed. Is it wrong to say I want to back off a bit? I think part of it is, people are trying to keep me busy, and are looking out for me.
It just goes against my slightly introverted nature. Oh well...come the winter weather I may just miss all this.
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Marie, it's not wrong at all to want to back off a bit. I know folks are wanting you to be involved in activities, perhaps to make your being alone less 'lonely', but I can understand what you're going through right now. Don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but need a break, a rest, maybe some alone time.

My husband and I are similar to how you and Rick were, if I ever found myself without him, as much as I would appreciate invitations to socialize or company coming to visit, I would also cherish my alone time. I would feel overwhelmed also, and wouldn't wait for the seasonal change to start declining some invitations and doing more peaceful things that you may enjoy without having to explain anything to anyone. When socialization equals stress, that's a big red flag, IMO.

It'll be a slow process, but remember, you are in control of your personal life and contentment. Take a deep breath, think of yourself a bit right now, I suggest you taper off the social involvement and get it back to a point where it isn't overwhelming. Sometimes sitting on the porch watching the birds, inside reading a book or catching some TV is good for you both physically and emotionally...hugs. 💚
 
@Marie5656 it’s great to hear you are getting out and socialising it’s good for your health
as well as your well-being and safety,

We do social ballroom dancing to keep up our fitness and our social life , sometimes we don’t feel like going out ( it’s winter here in Aust )
however on those occasions we are usually glad we made the effort once there chatting / dancing having a giggle or two.

I have a older smart phone which I have google calendar on, I find it so handy to remind us of any appointments or outings ,I mark medical apps in red ,social in purple it reminds you the day before / an hour before what ever setting you choose ,there are lots of calendars out there I’ve tried including Apple however I find google the best and most reliable so far
 
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This came up on my memories on Facebook. I posted it in 2016, a few months before I retired. I am sharing it here because it goes right along with this thread.

"OK, I will admit to being a daily reader of the Dear Abby column. Have been since I was young. Today's letter was sad, and disturbing. It was from a 66 year old woman who had just retired...but did not want people, including her own sister, to know, because she does not want people calling all the time to visit, or do things. She preferred her isolation. That is too bad, to want to hide from life like that. I find myself enjoying my solitary time, just to recharge body and mind. But I would never want to hide from people. Been there, done that...and it was not entirely pleasant. Hope this lady rethinks that."
 
Good for you Marie ... staying busy and really enjoying it.
Myself, I'm just the opposite. Any day I'm totally free of any schedule/obligations I'm the happiest. I guess looking forward to NOTHING feels good these days.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
Are you having fun? Do as much as you want. So don't over think it.
BTW, what's with the "winter"? Do you have to hibernate or something?
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Yes, I am having fun. I guess the winter thing is just a reluctance to want to be out in cold or bad weather. LOL. I like the idea of not HAVING to go out if it is really snowy or cold.
 
Marie, you sound normal to me. After my husband passed away, friends and family were asking me to go with them every time I turned around. Like you, it was so overwhelming, I was ready for a break. In time, it started wearing off. They quit asking me as often and I had time to "catch my breath". Give it time and enjoy it while you can.
 
My mom would put a day in her calendar for herself - to sleep in or rest or read or do nothing. When anyone asked her to do something on "her" day, she simply said she already had plans. Then would ask if another day was possible.

Finding your own balance will come with time.

You don't need to tell anyone what your plans are.
 
Marie5656 said:
@Kadee46 I am old fashioned and keep a paper calendar (from the dollar store) in my purse. Though I do have reminders set with Alexa.
I just looked at my calendar and realized tomorrow is totally open. No plans. Anyone want to do lunch? LOL. Actually all I will be "doing" is laundry and cleaning the bathroom. Wow, such fun.
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That's what I did today @Marie5656 Half of the laundry is done and I cleaned the tub and then the kitchen floor. I don't have a social life offline at all and am a bit envious..but you can go at your pace. Do what feels best with you..after all it's your life. :)
 

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