Just because I'm not heavily overweight.....

Ronni

The motormouth ;)
Location
Nashville TN
......doesn't mean I don't need to lose a few pounds!

I find myself getting irritated at a few well meaning friends who consistently dismiss my concerns about my weight and my efforts to manage it, when the subject comes up.

No, I'm not heavily overweight. I'm 153 pounds right now, and want to get down to 145. I know that's not much to lose, but it's more weight than I'm comfortable with and that is healthy for me. But because I'm not obese, because I look slim (I'm tall so that really helps) and because I dress in a way flatters my good points and minimizes the bad (like my tummy and hips) and can still move athletically, I don't look like I'm carrying any extra weight or struggling with mobility, and so my concerns and issues are dismissed as being inconsequential.

It's really annoying. I don't want to be compared to this friend who's morbidly obese, or that one who is well over 200 pounds on a smaller frame, and so I have nothing to worry about. Well, here's the thing, I'm not comparing myself to them, I'm comparing myself to myself, from now to previously. And I've gained some weight. And I want it gone. It's making me feel not healthy, and I even those few pounds I can feel in my joints. It's just.....annoying. One friend (friend? Maybe not anymore!) who insinuated that I was just complaining about so I could deviously draw attention to myself, to the fact that I'm much slimmer than a lot of my other friends! Good Lord!!!:mad: No, NO. I'm concerned about my health, dammit!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!
 

I used to weight 153...for years. Now I weigh about 120-125...for years...lol.
My adult weight for most of my life (other than pregnancy and nursing) was 135. I'm 5'8" and this was ideal. During the worst of the time with my abusive ex, when I was suicidal and and under extreme stress, I dropped to my lowest weight of 113 pounds. I was skeletal, people thought I was anorexic.

I gained a bunch after menopause and it took forever to stop that gain, and then start losing. Leveled out at around 145, felt good, was eating healthily and my doc suggested I maintain that which I did for 10 years, but recently the weight started creeping up again so I'm working to get it back down.
 

One friend (friend? Maybe not anymore!) who insinuated that I was just complaining about so I could deviously draw attention to myself, to the fact that I'm much slimmer than a lot of my other friends! Good Lord!!!:mad: No, NO. I'm concerned about my health, dammit!!!
Sorry, Ronni, but I see this a different way.

To someone battling serious weight issues, a relatively thin person complaining about a small amount of gained weight feels like humble bragging. Believe me, your overweight friends are painfully aware of their weight and need no reminders that you're more disciplined in that arena then they are.

I'm thinner than all of my close friends and am very careful to never discuss anyone's weight, size, or anything related.

Likewise, when my husband and I were dealing with financial reversals some 20 years ago, these friends were extremely cautious about mentioning anything they'd recently purchased and were incredibly kind about picking up lunch checks that we'd normally split by saying things like, "My husband was so happy to have me out of the house for a few hours so he could blast his music that he handed me this cash and said our lunch was on him."

Although it was a long time ago, DH and my business recovered, and I've picked up plenty of checks since then, their sensitivity to my situation will never be forgotten.
 
I'm overweight..I don't look hugely fat.. but I am very top heavy.. and I get the same type of remarks Ronni.. why do you want to lose weight, you'll lose all your 'assets''....I'm actually quite a bit overweight but I carry it well... except I can't do anything about hiding my upper half..

I don't care about having a substantial top shelf.. I'd be very happy to be even a 38 .. but people find this difficult to accept, they have no idea how this extra weight affects my joints...
I've always been slim.. never more than 9 stones.. 126 pounds ..now since Covid, and sitting around.. I'm much more than that, and it's proving difficult to shift... not helped by those who put obstacles in my way thinking I don't need to lose weight..
 
I'm overweight..I don't look hugely fat.. but I am very top heavy.. and I get the same type of remarks Ronni.. why do you want to lose weight, you'll lose all your 'assets''....I'm actually quite a bit overweight but I carry it well... except I can't do anything about hiding my upper half..

I don't care about having a substantial top shelf.. I'd be very happy to be even a 38 .. but people find this difficult to accept, they have no idea how this extra weight affects my joints...
I've always been slim.. never more than 9 stones.. 126 pounds ..now since Covid, and sitting around.. I'm much more than that, and it's proving difficult to shift... not helped by those who put obstacles in my way thinking I don't need to lose weight..
I'm soooo over the perks of being well endowed. A friend had breast reduction surgery in her early 50s. Said it was one of the best moves she ever made. While I wouldn't consider going that route, if a magic wand presented itself I'd gladly wave it over my front in hopes of winding up with a B cup.
 
It's worrying me all the time that I've been losing weight over the past year. For decades I weight about 185 or so, which isn't a lot for a man who's around 6ft tall (I say "around" because I was 6ft before spinal injury, 5'9" after, and 5'11" post surgery). But anyway, a year ago I suddenly lost my appetite. I just stopped feeling hungry. I still very rarely feel hungry; weeks and months pass between times when I actually feel hunger.

I make myself eat at least one full meal a day, but I got down to under 140 lbs. I'm 147 now but I'm freaking skinny. Even my face doesn't look the same as a year ago. I don't like it. Doctors haven't found a cause and don't seem too worried, but I'm worried.
 
Sorry, Ronni, but I see this a different way.

To someone battling serious weight issues, a relatively thin person complaining about a small amount of gained weight feels like humble bragging. Believe me, your overweight friends are painfully aware of their weight and need no reminders that you're more disciplined in that arena then they are.

I'm thinner than all of my close friends and am very careful to never discuss anyone's weight, size, or anything related.

Likewise, when my husband and I were dealing with financial reversals some 20 years ago, these friends were extremely cautious about mentioning anything they'd recently purchased and were incredibly kind about picking up lunch checks that we'd normally split by saying things like, "My husband was so happy to have me out of the house for a few hours so he could blast his music that he handed me this cash and said our lunch was on him."

Although it was a long time ago, DH and my business recovered, and I've picked up plenty of checks since then, their sensitivity to my situation will never be forgotten.
Well for clarity’s sake I want to say that I never discuss weight, mine or anyone else’s, unless the other person brings it up.

Sometimes it’s “you’re so slim!” to which I disagree because I don’t FEEL slim. Other times it’s them complaining about their own weight and I’m just trying to commiserate.

I do understand your point @StarSong, and if I were the one introducing the subject I’d be more inclined to agree with you. It would be thoughtless to do so. But I’m not, and I STILL get comments. It’s frustrating to feel that I have to stand mute in order not to offend someone.

(Note that I’ve brought up my weight here I think, in an effort to get some tips and tricks, or to vent that nothing’s working. I mean, there’s even a sub forum for weight!)
 
It's worrying me all the time that I've been losing weight over the past year. For decades I weight about 185 or so, which isn't a lot for a man who's around 6ft tall (I say "around" because I was 6ft before spinal injury, 5'9" after, and 5'11" post surgery). But anyway, a year ago I suddenly lost my appetite. I just stopped feeling hungry. I still very rarely feel hungry; weeks and months pass between times when I actually feel hunger.

I make myself eat at least one full meal a day, but I got down to under 140 lbs. I'm 147 now but I'm freaking skinny. Even my face doesn't look the same as a year ago. I don't like it. Doctors haven't found a cause and don't seem too worried, but I'm worried.
MY husband is the same , he never feels hunger..I mean NEVER.. he'll happily go 3 days without food, and then eat something only because he knows he'll die without it.. yet he's very stocky.. and not slim at all..... and that's the excuse he makes for not eating.. That said, he's a heavy 'Vaper'' and drinker.. ( or at least he was).. who knows now this last year we've been separated ..
 
I read once that the older we get, we need a little padding around the hips, especially for those falls that can injure our hips. Just a thought. :unsure:
yes I accept that, but even if I lost 28 pounds I'd still have plenty padding...believe me...

The thing is I'm chunky and so no-one believes me when I say I need to lose so much weight.. but I do....

That said .. they say that when you get older you have to choose between face or figure you cant have both... I would just be happy to lose a few pounds.. I wouldn't want to be stick slim
 
MY husband is the same , he never feels hunger..I mean NEVER.. he'll happily go 3 days without food, and then eat something only because he knows he'll die without it.. yet he's very stocky.. and not slim at all..... and that's the excuse he makes for not eating.. That said, he's a heavy 'Vaper'' and drinker.. ( or at least he was).. who knows now this last year we've been separated ..
I don't know if it's part of aging for some people or what. I thought it might be like a side effect of the covid vaccine because it happened suddenly about 2 weeks after my 2nd jab. But then I thought, No, that's nuts. But then I thought, well...maybe. But it's been a year now, so....idk
 
It's really annoying. I don't want to be compared to this friend who's morbidly obese, or that one who is well over 200 pounds on a smaller frame, and so I have nothing to worry about. Well, here's the thing, I'm not comparing myself to them, I'm comparing myself to myself, from now to previously. And I've gained some weight. And I want it gone. It's making me feel not healthy, and I even those few pounds I can feel in my joints. It's just.....annoying. One friend (friend? Maybe not anymore!) who insinuated that I was just complaining about so I could deviously draw attention to myself, to the fact that I'm much slimmer than a lot of my other friends! Good Lord!!!:mad: No, NO. I'm concerned about my health, dammit!!!

Weight is a personal issue and it can be annoying if people dismiss your idea about what weight you want to be...
this can go both ways ....
Friends even family may say things to appease a person .....

for a relatively thin person they may say "oh your fine you have so little to lose."

Some tell others who might have some weight on them "oh your fine just as you are"
they do not see how this is often not helpful...... and insulting if she thought you were that vain.

many know our bodies and even small gains could effect our health even if we are just more comfortable at a certain range of weight.
 
I agree with Starsong’s first paragraph.. And with Pepper’s about “fishing for complements.”
Give it a rest.
As I said on a different post, maybe someday Science will find the answer to why some people have to constantly fight a weight problem instead of it being treated as a moral or character deficit.
 
Well for clarity’s sake I want to say that I never discuss weight, mine or anyone else’s, unless the other person brings it up.

Sometimes it’s “you’re so slim!” to which I disagree because I don’t FEEL slim. Other times it’s them complaining about their own weight and I’m just trying to commiserate.

I do understand your point @StarSong, and if I were the one introducing the subject I’d be more inclined to agree with you. It would be thoughtless to do so. But I’m not, and I STILL get comments. It’s frustrating to feel that I have to stand mute in order not to offend someone.

(Note that I’ve brought up my weight here I think, in an effort to get some tips and tricks, or to vent that nothing’s working. I mean, there’s even a sub forum for weight!)
Thank you for clarifying. Given what I know of your sensitivity toward others from these threads, your post makes a whole lot more sense now.
 
I never bring up weight or age issues with any adult. I am 6’4” and weigh 205 (now). Normally, I like being down around 195. The difference (10 pounds) doesn’t change my appearance, but it just make me feel better mentally. My wife would rather I put more weight on, but my doctor tells me I am within the required range of being normal. It’s just a matter of having peace of mind. Being the 10 pounds heavier than I want to be doesn’t make me go on a diet or even try to lose weight. I just give up snacks between meals and that usually takes care of it. I stopped running all together last fall and that’s when I put the extra weight on. I still walk 5 miles everyday, even in this heatwave we are having.
 
I suddenly lost my appetite. I just stopped feeling hungry. I still very rarely feel hungry; weeks and months pass between times when I actually feel hunger.
When I was young they'd say take B vitamins to increase appetite (in children anyway). And I think minerals like zinc might help too. I don't know if it was true or whether it helps people when we are older.
 
When I was young they'd say take B vitamins to increase appetite (in children anyway). And I think minerals like zinc might help too. I don't know if it was true or whether it helps people when we are older.
I drink a shot of B12 every day. It seems to help. For several months, I wasn't only not hungry, I actually had an aversion to food. Just the thought of putting it in my mouth made me think "Nah. I can't." So I got back on the B12 - I'd stopped taking it a couple years before - and at least now I don't mind eating even though I don't feel like it. The aversion went away, but my body has stopped telling me "Yo dude, you're empty. Eat something!"

Interestingly, I had complete blood panels done last week and all the numbers were perfect. Like right exactly at mid-range. Not only that, my liver panel results improved. o_O

(i'm not advocating starvation diets)
 

Back
Top