Just senior humor

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I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject t o blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.

Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.

Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
 
Bob, aged 92, and Mary, aged 89, were excited about their decision to get married. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding, they passed a drug store. Bob suggested they go in. Bob asked to speak to the pharmacist. He explained they’re about to get married, and asked, "Do you sell heart medication?" "Of course we do," the pharmacist replied. "Medicine for rheumatism?" "Definitely," he said. "How about ******?" "Of course." "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?" "Yes, the works." "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antacids?" "Absolutely." "Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?" "All speeds and sizes." "Good," Bob said to the pharmacist. "We’d like to register for our wedding gifts here, please."
 

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