Kiss My Grits or Euphemisms

[Coconut]

My friend and I were having a fun time making up euphemisms.
Post euphemisms that you use or have heard.

(euphemism: the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive word or expression for one that is harsh, indelicate, or otherwise unpleasant or taboo.)

I will start out with "Kiss My Grits"

This is the story of how one of the South's most ubiquitous phrases came to be.
Here’s how ‘Kiss my grits’ became an iconic Southern catchphrase

This topic is meant to be for amusement.
It is not intended to be offensive.

 

[Rakaia]

Nah Downunder we don't do indelicate, we go straight to offensive.

 

[IrishEyes]

My life story - Vertically challenged – Short.

 

[That Lady in PA]

"Bless his heart" or "bless your heart"

 

[jujube]

"Did your mama drop you on your head when you were a baby?"

"Lights are burning but nobody's home."

"Did your parents have any children?"

And then again the many versions of "He's one sandwich short of a picnic."

 

[RandomName]

'Well Raise My Rent!'

 

[Sunkist]

One from a Tyler Perry Madea movie: "The mall's open- but ain't nobody in there shopping.."

 

[IrishEyes]

OK all of us agree, well some of us agree, ok fine one of us does.

 

[gruntlabor]

"Aw shoot!"
(I dropped my toast jam-side down, Murphy's law)
EDIT
.. or, Jimini Cricket!
(I took a blow to the head with a toilet seat from space.)

 

[OneEyedDiva]

She (he) is not the brightest bulb on the tree.

"You ain't got the sense God gave a turnip green" (I heard that one on All My Children decades ago).

My granddaughter told her father one the other day that had him and many of his FB friends cracking up. She said some man was trying to talk to her, but he was "Unfortunate in the face".

@IrishEyes I'm vertically challenged too.

 

[Coconut]

I like this one:

"The lights are on but nobody's home"
(someone who appears physically present and alert but is mentally not present)

That is how I feel sometimes when my brain does not function properly.

 

[Coconut]

She (he) is not the brightest bulb on the tree.

"You ain't got the sense God gave a turnip green" (I heard that one on All My Children decades ago).

My granddaughter told her father one the other day that had him and many of his FB friends cracking up. She said some man was trying to talk to her, but he was "Unfortunate in the face".

@IrishEyes I'm vertically challenged too.

"Unfortunate in the face"
I almost fell off my chair laughing on that one. That is great!

 

[OneEyedDiva]

"Unfortunate in the face"
I almost fell off my chair laughing on that one. That is great!

We call my granddaughter the "Queen of Shade" and she always lives up to it. When she went on to describe him to we who got a big laugh out of that expression, it was clear that she was actually being kind.

Here's another one: He's not the sharpest cheese on the cracker.

 

[Brookswood]

My state and local governments no longer spend tax dollars. They “invest” them. Raising taxes is now “revenue enhancement”.

 

[Coconut]

"bats in the belfry"

(meaning that someone is crazy, eccentric, or mentally unsound)

Originating in the late 19th century, the expression compares the human head to a church belfry,
where the bats represent confused thoughts fluttering around in a disordered mind when disturbed by the ringing bells.