No, it isn't easy, that's for sure. And staying calm and listening in a temper storm is essential. Most of the time, things are ok. Just noticing what sets him off and trying to avoid that takes lots of effort!
Thank you, that is lots of help.
Thank you, it is a big help.
You might want to think about this quote. " Depression is ANGER turned inwards towards one's self ". So, in your case, what is he angry about ? He may not even know what he is angry about, because he is too upset to think clearly. Depression takes many forms. Seclusion, withdrawal, acting out, threats, wanting to control everything. The list goes on. Mood swings ? Up one day, then deep in the pits next week? Sound familiar? That may be Bi Polar Disorder. Do some reading about Bi Polar, which is different from depression in a number of ways. JimB.
Yes, I have heard that before but forgot it. He does very well most of the day. I think there are certain "triggers" that pop up that set things in motion. I am making every effort to remember those and go with it in a quiet, careful way and in a positive and listening way. Thank you so much for mentioning it.
Yes, thank you. I do take care of myself. I get out and play cards with other seniors and go to church with him. I do meditation and watch lots of comedy shows. I suggest sometimes, have you thought about watching comedy? Because laughter is actually good for you. In many ways.
When you say " he does well most of the day " should I assume that he is retired and at home each day ? Perhaps one of his "triggers " is feeling that he no longer has a purpose in life ? I went through that when I stopped working. My Wife encouraged me to "get out and find something rewarding to do ". I started a small recycling company to take apart computers for the metal content, and sell it to E scrap buyers. After 2 years I sold the company for a profit to 2 of my young employees. JImB.
Let's see, he's been retired for some time. He goes around town at the beginning of his day and gets a paper and what else he does, I don't know. But, he does stay busy, gets out. He loves cars and trucks. Reads all about them, old and new.
Thanks for your reply. I too have a life long interest in cars, and as a younger man I was a crew member for my old Friend Gary Elliott who is STILL racing at age 76. Later I raced my own car at local tracks , and later after that I owned a car that a younger man drove for me . Perhaps you could get him interested in joining a car club, or getting involved with a local race team ? JimB.
Where we live, they have lots of car shows where people bring their really old cars all decked out and proud of them. It's a lot of walking but he enjoys it and yes we go to all of them. I love to take him to these because he just eats it up!
Good for you, for being supportive of his interests. I still go out to the track to watch the races, and I sometimes meet men who I know from "way back when ". My buddy Gary Elliott now lives on our east coast in Nova Scotia, after living in Ontario for more than 50 years and racing up here. He has been sponsored by Quaker State Motor Oil for 50 years next year in 2023. No one in any form of motor racing has had such a long time primary sponsorship. At age 76 he is still very competitive, racing against 22 year olds. Here is a link to Gary Elliott Motorsports. He is a strong man for his age, doing much of the work on his race car himself. He is also a God loving Baptist lay preacher. Gary Elliott Motorsports JimB.
That does seem to be the right first step, probably the most important thing.
Being supportive and watching him enjoy a hobby of his gives me joy. Makes it easier and more enjoyable in life inspite of the other problems.
Yes, he has a doctor that helps him specifically with depression. And he is good in that respect. And I am trying to stay on top of things in the most positive way I know how. And these boards and the members are so very helpful. Thank you
