OneEyedDiva
SF VIP
- Location
- New Jersey
I once read that a couple felt that living apart was beneficial to their marriage. They were celebrities who could afford to visit each other often when not on shoots. My son and new DIL are currently in a long distance marriage. She's in North Carolina and he still lives with me. The reason for this is that she's working and taking courses to get certification in child care that will allow her to work anywhere and eventually open up her own center (which she aspires to do). It makes no sense for her to transfer because the state of N.C. is paying for these courses.
She should be finished and able to move back here by the end of the year. If my son moved down there, even though he would transfer within his same company, his pay would be significantly less, which of course would affect his 401K and SS. And she's a pragmatic woman, so she won't hear of it.
Another reason is they wanted to be able to stay together when he visits her home as well as during the special Savior's Day conference that took place less than a month after they got married. For religious reasons and because she has two daughters living with her who are also in the faith, he wasn't able stay at their house overnight without the benefit of marriage. Paying for hotels every time he went down was costly.
They are making this work. They are on the phone first thing in the morning (and for my son that's around 3 a.m.) and last thing at night. He is usually on the phone with her when he walks in the door from work. They do their nightly Quranic readings, make their prayers together via Zoom or Facebook facetime. He heads down there at least once every other month and she heads up here on alternate months. Her son works for United, so she flies free. Now that my son is his step dad, he'll fly free too. But nobody wants to fly right now, so my son will be driving down (until this mess is over) and her youngest daughter will drive up here.
She's from N.J. Her sons, grandchildren and other family members are here in Jersey. The sisters at the mosque my son attends, where she was once very active, love her and can't wait for her to move back up here. When she comes back, they are planning to buy a house big enough for them and her oldest daughter who is developmentally disabled. Her youngest daughter plans to stay in N.C. I also had a neighbor who owned an apartment here and was in a long distance marriage. I think she finally sold and moved down south to be with her husband.
She should be finished and able to move back here by the end of the year. If my son moved down there, even though he would transfer within his same company, his pay would be significantly less, which of course would affect his 401K and SS. And she's a pragmatic woman, so she won't hear of it.
Another reason is they wanted to be able to stay together when he visits her home as well as during the special Savior's Day conference that took place less than a month after they got married. For religious reasons and because she has two daughters living with her who are also in the faith, he wasn't able stay at their house overnight without the benefit of marriage. Paying for hotels every time he went down was costly.
They are making this work. They are on the phone first thing in the morning (and for my son that's around 3 a.m.) and last thing at night. He is usually on the phone with her when he walks in the door from work. They do their nightly Quranic readings, make their prayers together via Zoom or Facebook facetime. He heads down there at least once every other month and she heads up here on alternate months. Her son works for United, so she flies free. Now that my son is his step dad, he'll fly free too. But nobody wants to fly right now, so my son will be driving down (until this mess is over) and her youngest daughter will drive up here.
She's from N.J. Her sons, grandchildren and other family members are here in Jersey. The sisters at the mosque my son attends, where she was once very active, love her and can't wait for her to move back up here. When she comes back, they are planning to buy a house big enough for them and her oldest daughter who is developmentally disabled. Her youngest daughter plans to stay in N.C. I also had a neighbor who owned an apartment here and was in a long distance marriage. I think she finally sold and moved down south to be with her husband.
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